Torque the Zombie

This cute artwork was done by my kids and their classmates
1.
I was in a very hectic mode today - had to recompose some report to meet the format done by the other team (who I don't really know have done theirs or not for that matter) and just completed the analytics & reports for 10 MD/ CEO's performance during the session I lead. Another 20 to go.....I can do it!

2.
Anyway I brought the EDIFIER R10V multimedia speakers which I got with Yoda (my Mac) to concentrate and keep my focus against the noises and the usual phone calls or the neighboring creatures....it helps a lot...woohoo!! I did not realize it was almost 1pm until Che Lie called - we have a lunch appoinment to trash out some issues (Read: BITCHING). The conclusion was it is a good thing for me to start hunting for other positions back at the operating units. Which is something that I have actually planned to do immediately after the end of this financial year, which will happen in about a month.

3.
After lunch I had a surprise phone call from Haszel (if you have read this boring blog since 2005 you may have noticed this entry about F1, she's one of our team members) asking us (the friends she knew on this floor I named THE ZOO to come down to donate blood.

I did.

4.
Well almost....not that I chickened-out...but when I was in the elevator going down I realized that I am "equipped" with hepatitis-B so that means I cannot donate blood, ever! When I reached the counter I greeted the people there and told Haszel that I just realized I can never donate my blood! Just to confirm it I sms-ed the Dr Dude (in the same blog entry I mentioned) and he was apologetic to know that I am infected....heheh....he's a cool buddy.

No blood from me y'all! Never ever! Sorry about that! Ahahah!

5.
I actually think it is funny, seriously! I told Kimster yesterday that with all the antics and sickening creatures around me, I am better off being a Zombie in The Zoo....and I was like a Zombie indeed going down there just to realize I could never donate blood! Ahahah!

6.
(Dammit now I am hearing the Carnberrie's "Zombie" in my head...not really in my favorite list that band!)

Running to stand still

The week - so far - has been quite annoying! BY-GEORGE what is happening to my life everything seems to be messy! Today is Wednesday and I had to look into my iPod to know what day it is. Monday was a bad start for the week - I had to some issues which made me feel bad for the rest of the day until last night. Again, somebody got the credits form some top leaders while it was me who had to do the thinking, planning re-designing & executing of some shit to make it far better. It was really a smack on the face for me.
Tuesday is ok but not really a good day because I had to deal with people calling and talking for hours with their remisers, real estate agents and whoeverthefark...and at times singing loudly while listening to the farking iPhone/ iPhone if not in mushy conversation with the farkingfaggotrichboyfriend. Sick. I just want a peace of mind to do my part of the deal. For me to do that I have to put on my headphones the whole day. It works....but today I realized it is time to teach them a lesson. I am gonna bring my multimedia speakers and put the iTunes to full blast every time the conversations mentioned above is happening....and still the issue from Monday is bothering me.
Then late Tuesday night cum early Wednesday morning, after some analysis and thinking (and praying) I realized that it is not as bad as it seems to be (if I can totally ignore or just kill the bastards at the Zoo). I can sleep a bit well after that.
Then back in the office this morning, the same people were still doing the same shit (ni tgh season jual beli saham & real estate ke apa ni aaa?) so I turned up the volume and continue with my work.
...and the neighbour nextdoor at home called me and started telling me to park my car 4-feet further from the current place because it is difficult to navigate his car - blardy tiny car pun tak reti nak navigate? Bodoh nak mampus. I will teach him a lesson tonight. The whole neighbourhood infact because they parrk happily around my compound and I never complain a single farking thing. They are gonna get it from me alright....sometimes I feel it is just not worthy to be a nice friendly rather young familyman ....kena buat kurang ajar jugak nampak gayanya ni....

Oh well, what will be will be lah...now, I just can't wait to go home and hug the kids and once they are asleep I can't wait to get on the Mac and do some editing (now that I am gonna keep my DSLR.....owh...that's one part of the mess I had to deal with on Monday la, no need to tell the whole scenario).

Full time babysitter

Time to sit down & write is really hard to find nowadays!!

...hmm how should I start....OK...the long weekend due to CNY was a well deserved break. I really had a good time - away from The Zoo and the smelly animals due to their rotten brain-cells.

1.
I decided that I don't wanna waste my energy to even think about that place, starting the evening of CNY break....but the matter of fact is i still have to log into the blardy system and settle stuff left for me to settle. Am not gonna lament about it here lah. Buang masa. I can just say part of my job is like a "sweeper"....clear things that was not completed nicely by the excellent workers than me and if i am lucky I'd get a pat by some bosses and that's just about it. What ever will be, will be, so let it be.

2.
Now back to the baby sitting thing...I seriously think I am at the lowest level of any attributes related to "attractiveness"...in other words, if I met my wife in this form I am in years ago, i'd definitely not be attractive to her!!! (Was I really attractive? Being a co-instructor of an ex-national Taekwondo coaches and avid runner & cyclist...I think was!!!). Why did I bring this matter up? Well, because the main thing that I am concern with these past few days is making things ok for the kids! I don't care if I look like a shipwreck as long as the kids are ok for the day! Believe it or not, to even complete the paragraphs above it took me 3 days! I feel guilty leaving them alone even though they are having their afternoon nap...I just hv to be with them or at least look at them every few minutes.

I don't care about my looks...
what I just care about is to be with my beautiful kids & wifey!

3.
If it took me 3 days to complete para 1 & para 2, it took me another 7 days to start this para! Gheez...I need to find time for myself!

4.
Last weekend, after a week of baby sitting, I decided to do something that I have always wanted to do...I went jamming! Yeah...jamming with a bunch of photographer hobbyist who also happens to play some musical instruments! It has been more or less 18 years since I last played any proper musical instrument. My favorite - drums. I can play electone organ, clarinet, alto saxaphone, tenor saxaphone, trumpet, a little bit of trombone..owh..and I actually taught myself to play harmonica when I was about 15 years old....but drums was the last musical instrument that I played in a jamming session...so I have kinda missed it. The session went well, we enjoyed it very much and at least we managed to churn out a couple of songs quite decently! We'd be doing it again, after the election. (can't post the pix up due to server issues on the other site....so, later lah)

5.
On the Sunday we went to meet the neighbours of the condo - small celebration of CNY by the developer. I get to shoot lion dance and we met a couple who looked so familiar...apparently we found out that we went to the same specialist hospital and our babies were born in the same month! The dewd is into photography too so we kinda connected naturally! The will be a meeting this coming Saturday, we'll be there and see what we can offer to help the community.

6.
On Monday, I had to say bye-bye to the kids and I will miss them for 3 days.
The forum went as expected - some blunders due to failure to pay attention to the details and preference to mingle and kissing the blardy arsses of some top leaders by the responsible people. This time I did what I have always knew I could easily do, with no "gabra" feeling what so ever...I took the mic for the first time in years and recite prayers at the beginning of the session. I can actually see some of the participants turned around and looked at me couple of times..the prayers is in 3 different languages - Malay, English & Arabic (the latter is my own doa - something that I have been doing in every prayers ever since I was 14 years old). Somebody actually approached me and said he has never heart such beautiful words in a doa and asked me the meaning of it, which I did.

Apart from that, I created a little havoc when the responsible people ran around and kinda blaming and raising the voice at me...I remained calm and unaffected. I did it intentionally, the blunder that would reflect on the responsible people.
For the past 3 sessions I have been assigned to find volunteers - the junior & senior executives from the units in this organization to become co0facilitators and prep them - a 1 to 2 hours session - for them to assist the facilitators who are MD/ CEO, SGM or at least GM level. I am not feeling syiok sendiri but i know I have done it well compared to any others who has done it before me. I did it in a structured manner, giving them the background of the fora, bigger perspective of the issue, the details that they just need to know and what is expected from them. for all of the sessions I took over, the volunteers have been very happy with the way it was done and they even asked if they can participate in the future...some even suggested their peers to volunteer and asked other bosses to nominate their subordinates to the future forums. Heck even the leaders who are the actual participants in the fora came and asked if they can send their subordinates to co-facilitate.

I must have done something good somewhere, regardless how others want to see it.

.....but in this particular session I did not manage to get the desired count of co-facilitators. So some of the facilitators are not being assisted. I selected those who I think should have no problem in facilitation - heck..these are the people who leads a company and they should have no issue handling a room filled with 20-30 people who holds junior positions than them. I can handle these bunch although I am 3-4 jooob positions BELOW them!!
It turned out some of the facilitators are having problem - not clear of their deliverables and I was pointed by the responsible people as "irresponsible" because I did not give all the facilitators an assistant each. So? I did not take it seriously because i know things will turn out fine in the end - these people are leaders so they better do it right, if they don't, they are just making a clown of themselves and that is too bad - let the participants see for themselves and let the "clown" learn that it is not a privilege but a responsibility to be where they are at.
...to, the farking bitches who are supposed to know the details and make the session perfect was like putting the blame on me, but every other members knew what I have done and what if the bigger perspective of the intent, I just don't give a ratsarse on what the biatches are saying - I don't mingle and "menggesel2" with the top leaders, trying to look in control and on top of the people who sweat and sleep less than 2 hours a day for 3 days just to make the session perfect while those bastards ignore the details and runnings of the fora and hog the credits later like what have been happening all these years, I just did my part as best as I could and "kasi ajar" those yg "kurang ajar" in ways that I could. Too bad....don't mess with me....top leaders of the organization are not the god, though they may act like they think are!

7.
The coming session are mine to lead...and already I have settled the prints and other matters which took the other team last minute to do - and create trouble to our support staff. Fark it..what kind of leaders who is not sensitive on their deliverables? The support staff had to come during weekends! At one pooint of time it was clear the lead was bluffing the SM of the team - I heard it & the support staff heard it. The articles were not given - heck I don't even think they actually have searched for any! - to the support staff who had to compile the whole stack...over the weekend and moss being with the family!
..and we are talking about "excellent" staff to the eyes of The Zoo here.

8.
This is a Friday, I am taking the granted unrecorded leave so that I can be with my kids today.
Ahhhh...bestnyer...don't have to be in the office hearing people calling their remisers & contractors while I had to work and earn my pay.....I wondeer if I can get the same amount of cash monthly by just taking care of my kids....and do photography (which I have done much much lesee these few weeks)....

My point of view

Waiting for Maghrib prayer time and realized that the sunray is interesting but the D70s & kit lens seem to have some problem focusing under low light today, so I did manual focusing.....

Straight from the camera, no editing.

I spotted some buildings nearby having smokes coming up on top - not sure if its fogging activities or there are fire in those buildings....


... tomorrow is the new year for our Chinese Friends so HAPPY NEW YEAR to all my Chinese friends out there! The Year of the Rat....that's the year I was born!

Ruled Notebook for now....Moleskine Cahiers next?

Have been writing on the blank notepad of my cool apple-green transparent organizer and have been thinking of using a proper notebook to write down what I have in my mind.
Well, actually I have been contemplating with the idea of getting a moleskine - either a cahier or a classic but maybe later since it is a bit off my budget for now. Yesterday I wrote quite a lot especially during the so called "downloading session". Heheheh.....downloading konon....yeah right, whatever! Anyway, I realized that it is better if I write on a proper notebook and keep a proper journal since I have been writing on pieces of papers (not just the ones I posted here!) if I feel annoyed and need to let some temper out without killing an idiot or two. The apple-green-organizer will still be used to take meeting and courses notes and sketches for my photography works. The urge of using a moleskine was due to "racun" by AbeDib laa! (Heheh! He is one cool mentor and a good buddy to everyone who knows him).
Anyway, today I bought a proper notebook - a GrandLuxe Monologue - which looks like a moleskine notebook. It is not just me, 3 other colleagues decided to jump in (well some have been writing good stuffs anyway!) and bought one each..and one of them also bought a fountain pen! So I think this is going to be interesting....with our next "coloring" project coming up and everybody is into writing their own journal, we'll see how it goes. At least we have some ways to channel our frustration in dealing with idiots around us!

The last entry using blank notepad.....

...a change is always refreshing!
(shot using different WB setting....)

Windmills of my mind....v1

"Round, like a circle in a spiral
Like a wheel within a wheel.
Never ending or beginning,
On an ever spinning wheel
Like a snowball down a mountain
Or a carnival balloon
Like a carousel that's turning
Running rings around the moon
Like a clock whose hands are sweeping
Past the minutes on it's face
And the world is like an apple
Whirling silently in space
Like the circles that you find
In the windmills of your mind......"
~ Gordon Matthew Thomas Sumner
The days have been restless - inside my head at least - too many things to worry about, too many things....

Sometimes I wish things are much simpler in life and the world is as simple as living a 24 hours days - just be with my loved ones, hugging and kissing them and hear their laughters all day long....well, to achieve that I have to either live in the stone age or retire early...or be a hippie...??!!

The matter of fact is, I have too many things in my mind that I need to think & deal with and I realized if I do not take control of the situation I might be drowned in it. Not gonna let that happen....no way. I only have 1 life and I am going to use it properly!

Writing actually helps, a therapy for this storm that I have in my mind....well at least I can "talk" with my pen to the papers...and in later years I may find it amusing to read....

a piece of paper for a peace of mind...hopefully!
(different entries on each piece, just click be able to read)

.....now I just wanna say my prayers and go back to hug my kids...