Kampung Path

2012.01.

2012-01-25T05:52:00.001+08:00

From Evernote:

2012.01.

Am not sure what am I gonna write. So many stuff to do and I have not used my pen for ages.

After being in Kuala Terenganu for a number of weeks I am not sure if I can cope with the hectic life in KL anymore. However busy I am here in Kuala Terengganu, I still can find time to have a good rest and time to cycle for fun and health. If the kids are here I am sure they would love it too.

So now here I am away from the family....missing them but I am earning good money for them.

2012.01.25.

I am going to board the 9am bus from Kajang to Kuala Terengganu in about 3 hours from this sentence is done. Let's just post this one up into the blog and see how it would look like...writing on Evernote and posting on Blogspot. :o)

BlogIt

2012-01-15T03:37:00.001+08:00

Lost count of the days I have not met my family. They're busy schooling. Mama is busy working. I don't know if they're really missing me but I really miss them.

A Cuppa Coffee....

2012-01-05T01:55:00.000+08:00

....so, there's a story that goes like this:

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor.
Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life. Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite. He told the group to help themselves to the coffee.

When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said: "If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In most cases it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups......

And then you began eyeing each other's cups. Now consider this: Life is the coffee; the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does not define, nor change the quality of the Life we live.

Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee.

...coffee, anyone?

:o)

...bullet the blue sky

2011-12-27T03:12:00.004+08:00

For the third night in a row I failed miserably to sleep when the hours should be dedicated to do as such. Unfortunate? Perhaps....but not entirely. The past couple of weeks have been painted colorful with miles of traveling across the Titiwangsa, the backbone which divides the country nicely into the west and east sides. Of course, it's a business matter (read: gathering moolahs while enjoying freedom of life), entirely. The project is a spearhead for more to come, insyaAllah....tiring but really enjoying it. The only wish I have in my heart to to have my kids and wife with me but that's something that I have to put up with, for the next couple of months I'd probably be living off my backpacks (so to say...but the real deal is I get to rent houses fully furnished and all in the assignments, fom time to time perhaps a 4x4 when it really necessary too).

Kuala Terengganu. Always a nice place...since my childhood days. The difference on my part now is that I can converse in the dialect quite confidently and it makes it much easier to be accepted by the locals...friendly mostly and all generally living a life sporting the theme of a relaxed and easy setting. Definitely unlike KL. I will be here until february 2012 and then move on to the southern part of the peninsular, not to the ultimate south-most tip though... a couple of hundreds miles before it...more likely.

Almost three years living off my DSLR equipments and I am yet to claim I have achieved what I wanted to achieve. Reason being, the set target would require me being away for 1/3 of the year on a continent I have never been to...so, the progress is not really happing anytime soon, definitely..but as I have mentioned time and again - it will happen.

The years after the corporate life, has been a mix of achievements, failures and a hoard of emotions - some, traumatic...but here I am continuing the journey and happy to be out here (read: not trapped in a fabric box with KPIs to enslave me)....and the journey is far from over. So, I'll just continue enjoying it as I progress onwards, insyaAllah.

The last couple of nights, I spent my time on the FS bicycle. Crossing the bridge of Terengganu river was refreshing. The first time was way back in 1992 when I did Peninsular Malaysia-Southern Thai tour....almost 20 years back!!! BY-GEORGE! 20 years already???!!! I can still cycle...Alhamdulillah....last ride couple of nights ago was about 50KM. Alhamdulillah. This ugly fat boy is tough as he used to be, mister!

As I wrote this, I am eagerly waiting for my kids & beautiful wife to arrive tomorrow afternoon. Been weeks since I last kissed them. How I wish I could be there to help my wife with all the house chores and have meals with the family....

I was angry with some groupie last night, some postings that was inappropriate and I asked politely to be removed, which they did but "the package" includes blocking me from entering their page. So be it. Some people are just too amateur and too focused on grabbing money and wealth that they forgot the whole purpose of having a life...IS TO LIVE IT!

At certain age, it is just too obvious when people is just busy barking about being rich...and failed to answer the most important question - what's next after that bag of cash???

Anyway, I consider the case is closed. Faces & names - marked, so, beware of me, in the future.

I just enjoy being with people that have a clear goal in life...and understands well that a bag of money is just a part of the bigger deal...not the ultimate end...and my present team, is sharing the same view. What else can I say? Alhamdulillah!

...so, do you have that bag of cash like many wanna-be-rich are chasing for?

No I don't....and I just don't care tuppence....it's not my ambition, not even in my life's "to-do/ to-have" list...simply because I have bigger deal - A LIFE TO LIVE...my own life with my family and the buddies that matters.

Yaay! :o)

10.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALIYA IRDINA KHAIRIL...AYAH SAYANG NEENA!!!

11.11.11....so?? Pfft...

2011-11-11T09:02:00.003+08:00

Too many FB status and promotions about 11.11.11.

Yet another marketing fad...and people just love it...same like 1.1.2001, 2.2.2002, 3.3.2003, 4.4.2004....well you get the idea....if the dates/ numbers are nice, it must be expensive and some would pay anything for it.

Smart.

Not really.

...afterall, Rm1 is still Rm1....only you cannot buy much with it nowadays....

It was quite a shock (NOT REALLY!! Hahaa!) for me this morning when I receive the news about MACC raids on PETR0N45.

Corruption. What else is new?

One of the reasons why I packed my bags and left that luxury workstation & pay cheque....I might not be as rich as many of us but I held to my words and ethics, never regretted my move.

...but the story about corruption, misuse of position, asking/ getting "gifts" from vendors etc, is nothing new at all. To a certain extent it has become a normality...I guess. It comes with the post one is holding....and some really really took advantage of the situation - both vendors and employees.

It's good to know some real "cleaning-up" activities are happening...hopefully one day there will be no more abuse of power and positions....in whatever forms.

Anyway, as far as I am concerned, the only numbers that I am focusing now would be - 38 and 90.

Size 38 waist.....and body weight of 90KG.

So far, I can fit into size 40 and weight is at 114.5KG, from 116.5 last week Alhamdulillah.

<--FROM THIS (2009)|TO THIS (2011-->

Keep on moving Torque!!! :o)

Slim...mer

2011-10-29T04:41:00.014+08:00

When it comes to diet products, slimming tea, gym packages and the likes, my standard response would be simple - shut-up and get lost!
Simply because I have tried a bunch of those and it only focuses on one thing - the dealers to bag in the moolahs and "pretend at their very sincere best" that they are really helping you to achieve what you want.

- dirt riding with my good ol' rig, circa 2009
on the way to Steroid Hill, FRIM, KL.

In all cases, all that I wanted was to trim down my tummy and feel more energetic. In most cases, I managed to trim down a bit but once I stopped - due to the expensive product and more other "extras" being introduced just to make more sales - I'd be back on the same scale before I started, or maybe a higher reading on the scale.
Thus why - shut-up and get lost!!
2.
I always believe in the natural way of losing weight. Thus why I started cycling again in 2009 and managed to trim down my tummy - though not very much. All that matters for me is I get to enjoy doing what I love to do - cycling - and I feel much healthier and energetic.
The matter of fact is, some "cyclists" get sucked into the "gear & gadgets" thing - same like people who "think" they are into photography - and I became more and more bored to join any groups because most of the time the talk during break between trails would be - GEARS & GADGETS. I came to cycle and enjoy the nature, the companionship of fellow cyclists and end up listening to people talking or boasting about GEARS & GADGETS - either theirs or soon-to-be-theirs...money is not a problem, boasting rights is all that matters.....credit card is king (IDIOTS!)...I am just lucky none of them are my close buddies, just buddies of buddies who happens to join some particular rides or what.

So, yeah I shed a couple of millimeters off my tummy on my FSDH bike and I get to ride the same trails - one in particular would be Steroid Hill which many younger cyclists talked about - that I used to do alone in my younger days back when cycling on a full-suspension bike with helmet and back-pack is considered weird by many. (Heck I even had to book with Joo Ngan for a proper sized Cratoni helmet back then!!!)
Anyway, I could not cycle every weekend/ everyday - the daily schedule and the stuff I have to do for living, would be part of the failure for me to ride on every weekends. Not blaming anything nor anybody nor am I making excuses, I am merely telling my story and telling the facts.
So, I am back to the same reading on the scale, if not more, by the days.

2.

....but this is me now!!!! Ahh c'mon, be sincerely kind to me...I do look good!!!
Well, not until last 2-3weeks, I finally managed to trim down about 10KGs FOR REAL and I can already fit into some attires that was bought/ given to me some years back with wrong size printed on them - XXL printed as the size but actual fitting is L!!!
Fcuk, I am not wearing anything that can show off my nipples!!! Nipple showing cuts are for stupid faggots!! Now that I have trimmed down a bit, some of the attires fit me nicely, no nipples are injured!!

As I mentioned above, I was a skeptic when it comes to this kinda things.

I am still a skeptic but I am also an honest person - I will tell my boss he/ she is a stupid idiot smack on his/ her face if he/ she is a stupid idiot and I would not regret doing so! - and now I am honestly telling that this Slim Diet 2 works for me.

Thanx to my wife, who insists to try the New Image Slim Diet 2 products...we started using it about 3 weeks ago, together with disciplined diets...and we achieved our target easily.

I don't know about you all out there but hey, to each his/ her own!!!

3.
I will be off to East Coast for a couple of months on assignment and I am already planning to bring my bike over...so that I can cycle everyday and on weekends whenever my family would be there to visit/ stay.
If the jigsaw starts to fall in the right places, I might even get a Specialized and re-do Steroid Hill as a reward - one of the "have to do list" in my life!!!!
....(gosh now I am talking GEARS & GADGETS too!!!!)

4.
Oh...just for the record:
Buying a camera does not not make you a photographer - you're only a camera owner (Quoted by Che Ahmad Azhar!).
Buying a bicycle does not make you a cyclist - you're only a bicycle owner.
Buying health diets, jumping into any MLM on health diet and all - does not make you a healthy person....you have to show & feel you're healthy to really be one.

Contact me if you wanna know more about the product and the foods I now consume.
You might even wanna join me for a dirt ride one of these days, who knows? :o)

- just an outdated and old carbon-fiber Proton T-Bolt FS

5.
Get a bike, shut-up and just ride it!!! (...and try the New Image Slim Diet 2, why not!)

Merdeka Life at 54...or so to say.

2011-09-16T03:58:00.004+08:00

1.
Merdeka.
Happy Birthday Malaysia.

2.
My grandparents - father's side - made his way into Tanah Melayu from Sumatera...and settled down in Parit Lapis Mahang, Batu Pahat.
My grandparents - mum's side - made it all the way from Southern Thai and settled down in Kampung Tonjos, Pekan Jabi, Segamat.
Johor is the state where most of my family lives in, so Johorian we are....but I was born in Melaka due to the better hospital services available in the 1970's....frankly I am not sure whether I can claim that I am a Johorian because I didn't spend much of my life there!
...but I tend to try to "understand" Sarawak so much more ever since my teenage days, though I must admit Sarawak seems like a foreign entity too far away when I was a kid. Even the whole family seems to mark it as quite an alien state, to be honest.
I spent my teenage years in Perak, only back in Segamat for school breaks. Then I stayed in Kuala Lumpur campus of my university for the most of the days in my 20's. When I started working, I could spend only weekends or holidays in Johor.
I guess most of my life is actually away from my (supposedly) home state - Johor - thus why I can't really claim I am a Johorian 100%.

...but on this day, I can admit that I do "understand" what it means to be merdeka....at least in my own way...whether I am in Segamat, Johor, or Kuching, Sarawak...merdeka carries the same meaning to me...

3.
In this country, the presence of harmony across the multi-ethnics citizens really matters.
I appreciate the presence of Uncle Goh who'd come and visit my Almarhum Pak Uda when I was very young....especially when Uncle Goh brings some sweet cakes during Chinese New Year...wrapped in pink paper. I would enjoy eating it on the "pangkin" of Almarhum Pak Uda's place, sometimes with him, sometimes with my cousins. Uncle Goh and Almarhum Pak Uda were good buddies.
I had an Indian friend that went on the same bus to kindergarten. The bus towkey was Ah Che - very friendly, fatherly guy....he'd help every single kid on his bus to cross the street on the pick-up/ drop-off spot if the location is on the opposite side of the road. The Indian kid was Ganesan. We shared sweets and whatever we had as we walked back to our kampung house from kindergarten. I never had any quarrel with him. Never.

4.
I have not met Ganesan nor the bus driver Ah Che since I started Standard One....where most of the students were Malays since it was a sekolah kebangsaan. However, I had some good Chinese and Indians friends...Low Yew Hoa, Chan Tiam Fatt, Yai Ban Tat, Chew Nai Sian, Chiew Teck Wee, Eddie Hong, Melvin Liew Kwan Tai, Tai Siew Shen, Patrick Goh, Sivarajah, Vigneswaran...

5.
Then I went to a boarding school in Perak, I had no other friends than the Malays BUT I had my first experience to have friends from every states in Malaysia, including Sabah & Sarawak.
Just to name one in each state:
Johor - Aidi Mohamed.
Melaka - M Amin Yunus.
Negeri Sembilan - Khairul Amin Awang.
Kuala Lumpur - Nahzamri Zainal Abidin - we went to the same boarding school, somehow ended in the same university....and company until I left in 2009!
Selangor - Muhd Azmil Mahayudin.
Perak - Mohd Fahmi Sohot.
Kedah - Ermal Aswardy Abd Rahim.
Penang - Johan Ahmad.
Perlis - Nazran Basirun.
Kelantan - Zailani Zain.
Terengganu - Khairul Emran Chik Aziz Badli.
Pahang - Sheikh Mohd Faridz Sheik Salleh.
Sabah - Awangku Mohd Ridzwan.
Sarawak - Isham Alwaddy Bujang.

....the truth is we all know each other very well - the whole 117 of the first batch and later as we entered form four, the rest of the newcomers....and I started learning the dialects of every state in this country.

5.
...but I still remember my primary school friends, even till today...and thanx to FaceBook we managed to find each other and started to be in touch with each other again.

6.
Recently, there's just too much noise about those who contributed to merdeka, Bukit Kepong heroes (or not), halal and non-halal issues....and with the politicians trying to get a piece of air-time in whatever possible media...things have been quite a havoc...and the mainstream media is not helping much at all. Good thing we have the internet...otherwise with all the news from mainstream media, we'd probably be in quite a mayhem already.

7.
....but for me and my buddies, we're still buddies as we were when we were just kids.
Let the politicians do what they do best - nothing!
We appreciate and respect our differences. We might not all be the citizens of Malaysia (some migrated) but we took our first baby-steps on the soil of this country. Whatever it is, we are what we are and Malaysia is part of our history. We love the country....and would want to be buddies for the rest of our life...and we would love to have our kids to become friends too....and where else could that be beautifully happening but in this country that have been our place since we were kids?

8.
If we still cannot learn live together in harmony, learn to appreciate, accept and tolerate the differences between our religions, cultures and traditions....might as well stop shouting 1Malaysia...well actually it is just Malaysia, as far as me & my buddies see it....because we have always been living together as one.

9.
Anyway, in this world...we do not just have one country to live in....the choice is always there.

10.
To all my childhood buddies - where ever you are - selamat hari Malaysia to you all!
Perhaps we could have a teh tarek and roti canai...one of these days.

So, It is Eidulfitri.

2011-09-01T04:34:00.000+08:00

Berziarah dan berkumpul di musim raya sepatutnya menambah pahala dan BUKAN mencipta pelbagai dosa melalui mata & lisanmu. Bukan pula medan menunjuk kemampuan diri, apatah lagi untuk membanding dirimu dengan orang lain, sama ada pada besarnya kenderaan, hebatnya pakaian, meriahnya hiasan, jumlah duit raya & harta. Redhalah dengan apa yang sedang kamu miliki, jangan sesekali merasa diri ‘lebih' atau ‘kurang'. Bebaskan diri dari rantaian kebanggaan & kehinaan kerana pemilikan duniamu. ~Zaharuddin.net

1.
So, It is Eidulfitri.
We celebrated in Segamat. For 4 days. Then off to Melaka for a holiday.
Had a good break from the routine that has taken quite a toll on my life...and the family, I believe.

2.
Probably the most uneventful eid of my life, this year.
Everything I did is not right. Nothing seems to be right for me right now.

3.
Started sending my resume to whatever job title that I think is interesting.....

Ramadhan 2011

2011-08-04T21:55:00.003+08:00

1.
Another opportunity to welcome another Ramadhan. Alhamdulillah. The activities would probably be quite the same but with different learnings and experiences, insyaAllah. Honestly, I just want to keep on moving and not bother about anything else but only my set goals and intention.

2.
I am glad the kids are into fasting, yes of course there would be the part where they'd grumble - waking up for sahur, feel the thirst conquering by mid day etc etc - but at least they're starting to learn and understand what it is all about.

3.
Aliya managed to do her first full day on the 4th day of Ramadhan. Alisya has not missed a single day yet and so is Naufal - who's with Tok Mak for some medication matters.

4.
I hope and pray the month of Ramadhan will be a good month for all of us...insya-Allah...just please remember, it is not an "adat", cultural heritage...it is part and parcel of our religion, Islam.

5.
Let's really do our best to fast and behave like true Muslims...not Malays...

Balls and holes and everything in-between.....

2011-07-19T09:41:00.002+08:00

Probably most of the golfers out there would beat me up for this but I wrote this out just for the fun of it! :o)

1.
I used to organize corporate golf tournaments/ outings whatchamacallit when I was a corporate citizen. So much to the extend that I created a procedure/ documentation on how to organize a proper tournament for one of the units I was in and I am sure it is still being used to this date. However, no matter how much involvement I had in the organizing part, I never actually fancy golf as a game/ sport. In fact I prefer to either shoot (photograph, that is) the golfers and/ or observe their antics during the tournament/ outing.

2.
I would confidently say, that for many who has organized a golf event/ tournament, it is an "interesting" experience in so many angles. Hectic, yes. Fun, yes...
...well maybe not if things went helter-skelter throughout the whole event and you get "the look" from those in the list...and a first slot in the boss's appointment list the next working day...but, well, c'est la vie! (Read: It comes with your salary and perks!) :o)

3.
Golfers are generally friendly bunch of happy-go-lucky-people, well, at least some of them, naturally. If you get this bunch, you're gonna have a good day at the clubhouse. Otherwise, you might get those who woke up on the wrong side of the bed and rushed to the greens just in time to register before the VVIPs came and would just easily put the blame on everybody around him...except maybe for those Indonesian girls caddies...tsk! tsk! tsk!
Now this group of people may make the day difficult for you...but normally they're gonna turn cool if they get one big box of prize after a good lunch and laughter later that afternoon.

4.
Of course, there will always be those "born to be permanent pricks" present in any event...they insist to be treated as kings (small k, if you don't mind). Wrong color chosen for the gift bags, they'll nag and make a fuss. Wrong size of t'shirt...you're gonna get the best kind of humiliation you'd ever get in your lifetime right there at the registration table...accidentally present within his/her eye-view before tee-off, you'll be yelled at...if you're photographing the event, you're the most convenient subject to blame for bad tee-off, of course....:o)

5.
...and some of the interesting phrases on the greens:
"Kemra kau tu keluar bunyi tak?" (urhmmm...the distance you're yelling at, Sir, I can use a silencer to make it totally quiet but I need a Glock to shoot you with it)

"Heyy kau ada ke amik gmbar aku dgn caddie tadi...delete delete...mampus kalau bini aku nampak..." (urk....no Sir, I follow the contract - shoot what I am being paid to shoot, any on-the-greens-soft-porn is forbidden as far as my work ethics is concerned, Sir...)

"Aku nak gamba tee-off tapi aku nak berlakon je, boleh?" (Of course Tuan, but keep the ball out of sight first, it's gonna look funny if you perfectly do a "cangkul" but the ball is still there..."

"Ehh aku nak gambar dgn adik caddie ni sekali boleh tak?" (Up to you Sir...but your boss will keep all the softcopy...)

....and at the half-way hut, it is good to NOT be there when they are having a break with the Lady Caddies...usually you'll get to hear the "free flow" of "not so bersih jokes"...that may make some of you wanna laugh, vomit and fart at the same time :o)

Note: Ladies, be aware if your hubbies start to spend more time on those golf courses that provides Lady Caddies....you'll be amazed if you see how they behave....bee-hive baybehh!!! :o)

5.
...and to be able to talk strike a small conversation, about the country, the range to that nice looking water hazard...and sometimes about business and some industries that I was deeply involved with, would make some of the Tan Sris, Datuks etc more comfortable before they tee-off...the higher ranks VVIPs are probably more friendly than the boss-machais, in many cases...they would just walk to you and start a conversation...for that, they really deserve the best tee-off shot you can ever compose...

6.
Well, I don't play golf but I love shooting golf events...that's me...
I just wrote everything above because I feel like it....and this is my blog. :o)

39.7 ~ 358

2011-07-15T02:37:00.002+08:00

...happy 39th year 7 days Torque.
Another 358 or so to go.

‎...hv not watched Transformers 3 | wanting to get a birthday present for self but not able to do so even after 1 week due | probably the second worst birthday after 2010 | oh well...there's always the 24mm prime and the old D70s...and VAD3R...

it is deep and dark......am I at my nadir...or maybe...c'est la vie...

Framing the moments...in our hearts.

2011-07-05T10:47:00.009+08:00

A meaningful shot is not a beautiful photograph

...but it is that beautiful moment in our life that means much more than the time we have unconsciously missed.

1.
Every morning, the family wakes up early to get ready for the day, the week is filled with hours of classes and work. Indeed, it has become a routine and as far as most - if not all - are accustomed to, a routine will end up being something that would just be a plain, flat, boring part of the life. Perhaps.
..but break the routine into moments and we'll find something not quite the same like it is supposed to be - i.e. not a routine.
Between that rush to meet the school assembly time, the office hour clock-in time (for my dear wife) and the evening of doing homework and preparation for the next week day....there ought to be some precious moments that would mean a lot in the later years. There ought to...be it in conversation with the kids/ my wife, or the things that we - the family - see or experience throughout the day.

2.
The imperfection of a person makes them more unique and perfect as their own self....that I have learned to appreciate as age takes over my emotions and enthusiasm.
I see, define, accept everybody/ everything in a different positive ways from what I used to when I was five years younger than today. The time that I have to myself - being free from the office hours tagged to KPI and the likes - allowed me to re-think and re-appreciate everybody/ everything around me in more positive ways than the negatives I used to portray in previous years...and I am glad I have this opportunity...while praying that I'll have the opportunity to do all the other stuff on my lists.

Probably I am living at a slower pace than what I used to as an executive in a big corporation...but what matters most is I continuously learn to really appreciate the moments...of being present...here and now.

3.
It has been quite a while since Mak & Abah been to Kelantan. It's a place where we used to go during school holidays, to enjoy the food, environment and to meet our relatives that still live there and linking the bloodline back to Narathiwat.

Little Zahra having breakfast with us, a few minutes before we board the plane to KB.

Last Saturday, I escorted them for a day trip to visit Uncle Farid who has been in coma for more than 3 weeks. A strong and friendly uncle that I first met when I was a teenager, where I get to know the wonderful kids he has - Tasneem, Firhan & Azra. It has been years since I last met them, including Uncle Farid. The last time was when I came to their place in USJ...and after I had kids, I have not met them at all....but Mak & Abah has been constantly in touch with their family and kept me updated from time to time.
...and time really flies....

4.
Seeing Uncle Farid lying on the CCU bed, is a massive heart-breaking moment.
We all pray for Uncle Farid's recovery...and for Tasneem, Firhan, Azra to have the strength to face this difficult moments.
I am pretty sure that Uncle Farid is proud of his three kids...and definitely he has given all the love he has to all of them all these while...

They are always there on weekends and Firhan has made the CCU ward his "home" since Uncle Farid was admitted...allowing himself some short break to rest and sleep whenever he must...and he will be there for as long as he has to, so would Tasneem and Azra...

...such, is a true definition of love.

5.
As we made our journey back to KL that night, I have only one thing in my mind - when I stepped into my house I am gonna hug and kiss all my kids...and my wife.
No words. I could not express my love in words to them anymore because it is already beyond any words that has ever been uttered in any form of languages that I have mastered.

Mak & Abah enjoying one of their favorite local dish - laksam @ Pasar Siti Khadijah. The excitement was too obvious in their eyes...the first time I was there was with them when I was a kid...and to be there again at the age we are now, is such a blessing.

6.

Moments are easily missed due to our focus on counting the minutes.
Minutes are the fractions needed to make the hour....and the hours turned days, weeks, months, years...those bundles of time would just fly...

...but the moments were there for that just one instant -never will be there again- waiting to be captured, framed, appreciated, not just with our cameras but also our hearts, our minds.

7.
To Tasneem, Firhan and Azra - SALUT.

The day the heart goes silent

2011-06-30T05:02:00.000+08:00

1.
I got a call from Mak last night, delivering a sad news. Pakcik Farid (a relative on Almarhum Mak Tua's side which links us back to Pattani) has been in coma for more than a week after an operation. The chance of recovery is said to be very slim.

With Abah's condition getting better, Mak is confident to travel but needs somebody to escort them to Kelantan.

Yeah, though I have two jobs to cover, I made the arrangements and comes Saturday mid-morning I'll be there with them, insyaAllah.

2.
I pray that he'll recover.....and may Allah gives the best for Uncle Farid and the family.

3.
With news of family, relatives, friends, friends of friends who made the journey to the next agenda - some old, some at very young age - I take all of it as a reminder that when the heart goes silent, we'd not be able to say or do anything else but cross the line to the next life.....

4.
Do what matters most to your heart and family, while your heart is still able to talk to you...it may want to convey some messages to your loved ones....always, until it goes silent.

5.
...and unlike the mornings you're having now, you'd wake up in a totally different world by then...

6.
Good morning...I am glad I can still wake up with my family around me today....

...to start a day with a good meal...

2011-06-22T10:35:00.003+08:00

1.
I still remember those early younger days when I was an executive of a JV company in Dayabumi, seconded by my scholarship sponsor. Rushing everyday, came to do more works on Saturdays and sometimes Sundays, I was really enjoying it and when I left the corporate world, I visited the office and old staff (based on the PTT already of course) and I felt honored that some of the business guides, templates, procedures, the SAP system design/migration, reporting methods and some others I did....is still being used by them. My heart smiles. However, one thing I really learned from the staff there was this - star the day with a good breakfast!
Yup....it helps, a lot. Regardless whatever you have, as long as your stomach is "happy" you'd probably end up having a very good day compared to starting on an empty stomach but fueled by heavy ambition to continue climbing that ladder.

2.
...and as I made my way throughout the years, I realize it is very very true indeed.

3.
Every morning, my lovely wifey prepares breakfast and packed lunch for the family.
We'd have breakfast together as much as possible. The first meal of the day, may be the last meal for me to be with the family. Who knows? For that reason, I never take things for granted, especially if it is about the family I have because other than them, I have no other.

4.
So, have a good breakfast everyday! :o)

Never leave home without it...

2011-06-21T01:39:00.002+08:00

1.
Yup. It has been yet another stretch of "quite a while" since the last entry. Truth be told, I have a lot in my mind that needs to be attended...and the matter of fact is I don't have much time to do most if not any (really) of it at all. Not a sorry excuse, just the plain truth. Not lamenting, just writing from my heart.

2.
However, since the ordeal Abah had to face (supported by Mak and the family of course) I find it a big relief to be able to get through the period and just recently the latest tests and discussion with the specialists confirmed that the is nothing more to worry about but just to help Abah recover as much as possible. InsyaAllah.

3.
The recent break in Kuching was also very very refreshing. Though it was probably the shortest stint for the family we managed to squeeze in quite a number of activities for all, though low in fund but the fun that was generated was nothing any kind of money could really replace. I just wish I had more time (and fund, yeah) to cover some documentary that I have in mind.
Next time around, insyAllah. Adalah hikmahnya tu.

4.
...and the idea of migrating to Kuching has been quite an interesting subject. I am really keen to make a move now that the whole family is excited about it....only thing is I am sure Mak & Abah will be sad if we made the move....
Oh well...when it comes, it comes and we'll deal with it accordingly.

5.
I finally have the desire to write again in this blog after the long silence. Just delivered a portfolio asked by a good friend a couple of hours ago to promote some areas of works that I have done....and with that, I feel a fresh batch of energy coming in to my soul.
...and I just toyed around with the D300 again after almost a fortnight leaving it in the small NatGeo sling bag after the Sg Congkak trip...and told myself I have reached that specific target set in quite a surprising time frame a few months ago...if I managed to do that, insyaAllah I can do anything and so it is now time to start moving to the next level even though I actually have just about 5 hours of time a day to do it.
No other option but to make the best out of it no matter how hard it may be.

6.
Ok...I have about 3 hours to sleep, before I wake up and do the ironing, sending and all...and I am gonna shoot some small stuff and write about it to kick-start the momentum again...

7.
...so, help me Allah.

Celebrating everyday

2011-05-04T01:17:00.005+08:00

1.
When we were at the Neuro Ward, there was a Chinese man in the same room with Abah. He's a bus driver and was warded due to sudden heavy headache and a stroke, at the age of early 40. Mak & Abah became friends with the family and we were quite sad when we had to leave them behind - he was going for a more serious treatment and it would cost him about Rm60k or so - Mak hugged the wife of the bus driver and even Abah who has yet to recover, had shown on his face a glimpse of sadness and hope for the family. I would say that moment was a true definition of 1Malaysia. I wished them all the best and told them not to worry so much, because the doctors have mentioned he can recover really soon and all he need was a proper rest for at leas two weeks.

2.
What struck me was this - even on his first hour of being warded, the bus driver has been calling all the parents of the school children to mention his situation. The wife talked to Mak and told Mak that they were worried because they could not send and fetch the school children and some of the parents were not happy about it.....some scolded them, some even hung up the phone and blamed them for not being able to do what they were supposed to do.
...this made the couple really sad and worried.
But Mak did told them, what more important is to focus on getting well soon and they would be able to do business again once the husband is back to normal. They cannot do much about the arrogant and inconsiderate parents.

3.
What has become to our society? Why do we have such parents with no heart at all? Even if you pay somebody to do some service it does not mean they are your slaves and have to serve you every single day regardless what condition they are in. Why are they so arrogant and stupid to treat the very responsible bus driver like that? How can he drive the bus if he's suffering a stroke? They'd rather put the life of their kids at risk than taking a couple of hours off for the next couple of weeks to send and fetch their kids? Arrogant, stupid, inconsiderate, no heart at all.

4.
Like it or not, this is our society. Now. Today.
Not unlike it was back in the 70's. Or maybe 60's and before.
Why?
I don't have the answer....do you?

5.
...what I know is this - for the years I have been on the high floor of what used to be the tallest building in the world, I tend to set aside certain values when it comes to family matters.
Now, ever since I am out of the corporate world, I realized that what matters most is nothing but the family, relatives and the good friends that you have around you, who'd be there to support and help you in any way they can.
At the same time, I realized that there are so many things that I consciously took for granted - all those years mentioned - and now I realized that some simple things that we'd took for granted are actually what makes our life more meaningful and rich. It's too difficult for me to explain...but that's how I see it.

6.
The shot above is of a chicken satay and "lontong" - a Javanese dish normally served during Eidulfitri in our family. Arwah Nenek (Abah's mum) used to make lontong for Eid and coupled with her own recipe of ayam kampung masak kicap....it's probably the only thing I'd devour for the duration we would be in our kampung - Kg Parit Lapis Mahang, Batu Pahat.

...but we have not been having lontong for years...ever since Nenek passed away (mentioned in this blog too). When we discovered a good tasting satay, served with ketupat and lontong very recently, we packed enough for the family to celebrate Alisya's 8th birthday....boy oh boy, were we happy to see Abah enjoying the lontong...after missing it for so many years.

7.
As I mentioned....my priorities has changed. I would spend more time to look after my kids and my parents now. Even if it means I am not going to have as much time to do business and shoot for my personal documentary projects.

8.
The friends and relatives that you may expect to be there to provide some help, hope and whatever, may not be the ones that would be there at all to support you, for whatever reasons they may have. No use lamenting about it. You're just wasting your time because they would not spend a time nor a dime to support you anyway....in the first place, if you think about it, you don't actually need those kind of people to be in your life, not at all, never.

9.
Celebrate everyday like it is the final day of your life with your loved ones...and those who matters to you.
For the rest of the other people, they'd be "busy celebrating" their every days too...the big difference would be that their focus is not on "celebrating"....but on being "busy"....

...from generation to generation

2011-04-22T00:12:00.005+08:00

1.
Some instances - looks, habits, way we do stuffs, even fate perhaps - that we have been living with, are perhaps being "inherited" from our father and grandfathers...and maybe being passed on to our next generation. Maybe we have not realized it or maybe we'd realized it a bit too late...

One instance that I can claim being inherited from my Abah is - I end to doze in front the TV set if I am tired regardless how bad I need to view that particular program! :o) The funny thing about it is this - I used to laugh at Abah (and so did my kid bro & sis) when he dozed off....now I have that same habit and my kids laughed at me (including my little wifey too!)...heck I can even comprehend what they talked and laughed about even though I was half asleep (I think!).

2.
My parents are teachers, Abah teaches at some sekolah menengahs and Mak at sekolah rendah kebangsaans....of course they have retired for about a decade or so. That is perhaps another instance - teaching & disciplining students/ kids - which I somehow inherited from both of them. Boy oh boy were they strict when it comes to education - especially Mak. Abah is a bit on the relaxed side but from time to time he'd do a "full inspection" and the outcome would be almost the same like what Mak would prescript - if we do not complete or do well our study/ homework, of course. That's what I am doing to my kids now.

Some of my lecturers back in my studying days told me I can be a good educator, the way I present and explain stuff and how I performed in certain education-related subjects or courses....but my parents were against all of their kids to become teachers like them....ahaha!!

3.
I can still recall in my much much much younger years - before primary school - my parents used to bring me for a walk on the stretch of dirt road of our kampung and show me birds nests, make "baling-baling" using mangosteen leaves, make "rocket" using "lalang" leaves....and with the help of my Pak Uda (almarhum Tn Hj Abd. Rahman Harun), I'd also be "shooting" birds with his nicely crafted slingshot or bamboo machine-gun. There are photos of my dear cousins who pushed me in my stroller (with proper cap and shoes) on that same stretch of kampung road.

I guess I inherited that instance too....I spent hours on weekends walking, talking with my twins and Aliya when they were younger...not at their present age, I'll find ways to be their "friends" and do stuff together with them, with my little wifey too.
...oh yes, it's not going to be long before they'd want to do more stuuf with their friends than their parents - like we all used to when we reached certain age, of course - but before that happens, we'd grab all opportunity to do whatever we can with all of them, together.

...and I realized that was also what my parents did...the last opportunity was perhaps when we all did our hajj - the whole family, with money saved on monthly basis and all, before any of us got married. Couple of years before that they went to perform hajj with almarhumah Mak Tua - my Mak's mother, my grandmother of course.

They were happy to be able to perform hajj with their parents and next with their kids - that already fulfilled their ultimate ambition, as far as I know.

Alhamdulillah, they have reached their targeted ultimate ambition....and it doesn't involve anybody else but only the closest of the family members.

Now it's my turn to set my targets as far as the family is concerned.

4.
Those are just some examples. There are many more details and what we may categorized as not-so-worth-to-mentioned stuff in daily life that we may have inherited from our fore-fathers...and as we grew up and become more stronger than them, more educated than them, we'd be more occupied to the stuff that means so much to our future.
Then we have our kids..and truly enough everybody would want to give the best the can for their kids....in doing so, we tend to be occupied with whatever items that we mark as important and spend time on those items....
Before long, we are already wearing the title of a grandfather/grandmother....so, how have we spent our times? Have we spent enough and do enough for our loved ones? In the first place, do we really ask ourselves that question when we reached that age anyway?

5.
Maybe I am digressing....but to be frank, here I am, waiting for my Abah in the observation ward for the memory lost issue he's facing and it has struck me right in between the eyes - we'll only have one chance to take care of our kids, our father & mother....the time could not be reversed nor repeated.
I just told myself again, last night - no matter what is the number of RM I have in my banks, or how many gold bars I have in the vaults of those banks....it cannot be priced as precious as the time and that one chance to take care of the family.

6.
May Allah bless my family members, those older than me, those younger than me, those whom I have had the opportunity to spend my life with and those younger ones in the future when probably I would not be around anymore to kiss and hug....but for my future generations, please know this - I'd probably still be alive in all of you, as like all your forefathers did in me....and so would you, in your future generations....insyaAllah.

Candlelight

2011-04-12T00:27:00.009+08:00

1.
Candlelight. A small source of light. Used to be the main source of light for those who came from kampungs, studying and completing homeworks, reciting al-Quran, shadow play - you guys still remember how to "draw" a rabbit using the light from a candle, your hands and the wall of your room as your canvas? :o)
This little source of light helps those knows how useful it is, to do everything else that one would be doing with the help of a modern light bulb nowadays....just like a piece of paper and a pen compared to an iPad or iPad2 or GalaxyTab or...oh well...you name it!!!

2.
So, we have progressed far from having a candle to read and do those humble stuff in the night as far as a kampung kid is concerned, to having what we have around us today.
The question is, have we progressed too? Maybe.

...but maybe not.

3.
With the light from the candle, our grand parents, parents, maybe some of us too, recited the al-Quran, woke up in the middle of the night for prayers, "talk" to Allah for hours...
With the modern light bulbs....are we not supposed to be able to recite the al-Quran more easily? Are we not supposed to be able to do the midnight prayer with more comfort?
Are we not supposed to be able to read the books and kitabs of Islam in a more comfortable environment?
Yes. Generally.

....but maybe not.

4.
There's so much more "interesting" things to be done with all the modern light bulbs compared to the candle.
A candlelight could not power up our Macintoshs...or PC for non-Mac users lah!
A candle light could not power up our modems.
A candle light could not blow cool breeze like our ceiling fans and air-conds.
How on earth are we gonna get connected to the world of internet with a candle in hand?

So, generally, the result modernization would normally bring us to more fun and interesting things to do and indulge in.

...but the candlelight is still used for certain occasions. I can think of two that would mostly involved the majority of us:
- marking the years of age on our birthday cakes
- lighting up the table for a romantic dinner (TNBs blackout is not in the equation though!!!)

So, it's still there. Existing in the middle of modernized and chaotic life we have.

...but maybe not.

5.
So much so, the existence of a candlelight is almost like existence of the teachings of Islam. To the very basic of it.
Let's just take one example - covering of aurah. It has been there for ages. The aurah of a Muslimin. The Aurah of a Muslimah. The teachings are there, still. The actual practicing of it...maybe yes.

...but maybe not.

6.
A couple of days ago, when we were having our family riadhah time, I saw the usual vision that we'd encounter every day of our life today - Muslimah - ladies, young, old, married or unmarried - walking around in short pants (or we are supposed call it hot-pants?)...riding on the motorbikes with their male partners, also in shorts or bermudas...
I told my lovely wife, back in kampung we used to have our non-Muslims villagers sporting those kind of attire but nowadays, the number of Muslimahs clad in the skimpy pants are just almost "at par"...perhaps.

Modernization? Maybe...to their own definition.

...but maybe not.
At least, not mine. (Maybe not yours too....Alhamdulillah).

7.
The sad thing is, we could not say much to them. They have all the reasons to counter back no matter how soft and sincere the way we try to tell them. Not all of them (Alhamdulillah to that!) but most of them, if not majority. They'll tend to get annoyed for being told about the teachings of Islam on aurah...but we just need to do what we are being told to do by Allah, the least would be to go against it in our heart....and make sure our kids won't belong to the same group when they reach the time.

8.
Going back to the candlelight...the fire is small. It gives benefits to those who knows how to appreciate it.
When the fire grew bigger...to the extreme end it would be as massive as the An-Nar.
Engulfed in the flames of An-Nar, the reward for those who are blunt and arrogant to accept the rules of Allah. As simple as that.
No argument....if you insist to have one, please reserve your argument when you are facing HIM in the HereAfter...

9.
Well, that's just one simple example. We can talk about solat too but as many would say - Hey dude, you'll go to your own grave, I'll go to mine.
...and I am not writing it here about the over-ridiculed busana Muslimah...maybe another day.
So, yeah, let them have it their way. As much as possible, we just do our part, at the very least, dislike it in our heart.

10.
At least we still have the time to repent.
And as I said earlier...with the light from the candle, our grand parents, parents, maybe some of us too, recited the al-Quran, woke up in the middle of the night for prayers, "talk" to Allah for hours...
With the modern light bulbs....are we not supposed to be able to all of the above in comfort and ease....?

So, are we doing it already?
InsyaAllah. Yes.

...no maybe. Just a solid YES.

11.
To each, his own.
Light a candle tonight and think about it.

Wassup Doc?

2011-04-08T00:27:00.003+08:00

1.
The recent development (if I may use the word) in Malaysia's political scene is rather...urhm...tiring. Boring. Many would say it is almost the same story being repeated with different actors and directors. That DSAI sodomy trial that have been ongoing for many years. The ongoing investigation of the death of Beng Hock. The sex videos revealed by Datuk Trio team....the Omega watch that matters a lot to everybody involved...you can continue with the list (of the same ol' stories!!)
The impact would depends on the ability of the players to win the minds of the citizens - most are already been in deep fatigue and give no ratsarse except on matters that would hit them on their forehead immediately...or let's make it simple - they are just too occupied with the daily roles and responsibilities plus the always sought after opportunity to be in FacebookLand as much as possible...and for entertainment purposes the obvious option would be Astro's sickening antiques - reality shows the like of AkademiFantasia (45th? 67th? I dunno I don't bother following it!)...of course we also have the TV3 and the RTM channels' prime times, "purely entertaining"....

2.
With the elections coming up in Sarawak (sikda tiket untok sidak2 di Semananjung balit siya kah Pehin Sri?? Tehehehe!!) there are just too many "circus" being aired day in day out...promises here and there, one side accusing the other, the other accusing that one side...wahh...so busy lah everybody!! When the election is done...everything goes back to normal. Well maybe some development here and there but comes the next round, we'd probably realized that nothing much that was being promised is actually being done....true?

3.
No lah...I am not going to ramble about politics & the election.....I am apolitical though I have been a victim of political-inclined people since 10 years of age....when it comes to choosing colors, I do love blue but most of the time I end up preferring green...light blue is generally defined as sissy in my dictionary but once in a while it works nicely on certain occasion...and red is always attractive to my eyes but not suitable for my skin. Go figure!! ;0)

4.
Anyway, I have been talking to some people who have been in close contacts with the big-boys in political scenes. Casual chat, over teh tarik or kopi ais...till the wee hours of the mornings...Alhamdulillah they gave me new perspectives to the scene, some very privileged information and second to the actual persons actually telling the truth...in simple word - it's kind of a revelation, a surprising relief...that is why I always would want to hear all possible part of the story and for this matter, although it took me about 13 years to close the loop, well it's better late than never...

5.
Now I am reading the book by Tun Dr M.
...and also "The Malays: Their Problem & Their Future" by Syed Husin Ali (used to be a textbook for some courses by UiTM).
Why? Just to complete "listening" to the story....that has been there since 1998.

6.
...but of course, nothing beats the information and stories that one can get from the people directly involved...

7.
All I can say here is.....don't swallow everything you are being fed with. Read the ingredients on packets from where it came from. Compare with every other available packets. Get the real facts right. If "ketchup & chili sauce" needed to make it more "edible", then the actual content is probably not good after all.

Above all...chew and munch before you swallow....refrain from talking to others before your swallowing is done...because that would probably end you up in a mess...and the others too...

8.
Some leaders have the looks of a pious and religious Muslim...but you would not know the ugly stinking rotten truth unless you really do your homework (FB links, YouTube not in the package ok!). I am not saying A is wrong nor B is right....that, you have to find out on your own....converse, read, do research, try to get connected.....and be neutral.

9.
Just for the record, I don't belong to any political party. Nope.

First Exhibition for 2011

2011-04-07T23:50:00.002+08:00

Invitation from TM to showcase works related to "Appreciation of Women" on 23-25March 2010 at Menara TM (Rebung).

Alhamdulillah....
A short period of time to prepare everything. All expenses on our own. The tema did really good, everything was done on time and it went well.
..more to come insyaAllah.

Such a great blessing....

2011-03-31T23:40:00.000+08:00

Couple of weeks ago was the school break. We took the opportunity to head on south to our kampung in Segamat and the rest of the family were there too. Such a noisy gathering, almost like raya...minus the ketupat.
..loads of stuff on the table of their Tok Mak & Tok Abah. Every night before sleep (they all sleep together with their Tok Mak & Tok Abah, huge room at the back....air-cond. summore...chiss!!), Tok Mak will ask the kids what do they want for breakfast tomorrow...and they would be having the items served on the table the next morning. Sayang sangat Tok Mak & Tok Abah sama cucu-cucu diorang nih!

2.
It has been quite a while since we last spent a good week in Segamat....that would be during the flood season...surprisingly, it has been raining for a couple of days before we arrived and the water is rising in some kampungs. Alhamdulillah it stopped raining on the day we arrived. No flood....well if there's any, I'd take the opportunity to "scoop" some shoots for front pages again lah kut!!

We brought Sparkle & Ninie back...set them free, no holds barred. How happy they were!!! Ran all around the house, went missing for almost a day and a night...but pops right out from the bushes on the afternoon of the next day. Carrots no more...they are busy exploring the various plants around the house and outside the gate, within out land area. Yep, they are happy to be free indeed!

3.
The kids had fun all day long for the duration we spent. Always running, playing...and of course quarreling....so many things to do foods to eat - barbecue night, pasta night...you name it...and a whole day picnic @ Gunung Ledang waterfalls. Yup, we had a good time indeed. Must to this every school break, at least!

4.
One of the thing that I really enjoyed during the break was this:

.....siput sedut masak lemak...served with steaming hot nasi, eaten at the waterfall picnic location...perghhhhh....

5.
The blessings from Allah...Alhamdulillah. No fake "happiness" for FB purposes, no blasting of horns 'bout boarding the plane for vacations abroad....well you know laa the typical Bolehlanders-kiasuness...balik cuti...confirm laa kad-hutang sudah maxed out...gaya mesti menang maa!!

Maybe we'd do oversea vacation when we have more to spare, insyaAllah...but what matters most is we had a great time and nobody else involved, only the whole bunch of our family members...pure sincere love and fun. No money can ever buy. Alhamdulillah.

Erk...seriously, how can we put high regards for this? Nope...no vote from me.

2011-03-28T00:11:00.007+08:00

1.
Life been interestingly hectic this couple of weeks. School break (an entry in this blog is still WIP for that matter!) and the TM's invitation exhibition for CHAPS (that's Community of Hobbyists, Amateurs and Professional Photographers) or better known by the nick-name "Chap Ayam Photographers"....but I had time to read the books I am reading and of course the news papers....

2.
Some may find it annoying when I say I read news from the internet or English based newspaper...and sometimes Berita Harian. No, it is not because I don't love Bahasa Melayu (or is it now Bahasa Malaysia again? Whatevuh...same difference to me lah!!) but the content in each mentioned media brings a different kind of product to your face....thus when somehow I picked up a Harian Metro no Sunday, I cannot help but wonder - why is it so much different from the NST??

3.
The difference I am referring to is the kind of news it contained. Maybe it's more on entertainment this HM but even if it is so, I do hope the majority of Malaysian (Muslims in particular) are not really into "voting of sexiness" and giving reasons why the butt of some actresses won their vote...BY-GEORGE!! Don't you all have pride or respect for claiming being a Muslim?
So cheap....so cheap...such a disgrace.

....and oh yes...the ever-so-fabulous busana Muslimah stuff - now it seems that the fake eye-lashes are "wajib" to be donned by Muslimahs for some kind of function or whatevuh...excuse me, I am not as smart as many of you out there when it comes to hukum-hakam agama....but is it not true that "wajib" in Fiqh is defined as what we are required to do in Islam, failure to do so will end us in negative value for the HereAfter? When you read it proper with some minor knowledge in fiqh, but of course the definition of "wajib" here can be referred to "lughah" of language...either way, is it really the teaching of Islam to wear stuff like that and put on make-up like you are a peacock..almost.
...and how do you actually do your solat with all those on your face? If the preparation takes time, do you have time for maghrib before going to that very important dinner with those eye lashes and all? Owhh..darurat? Sekolah kat mana dulu???

4.
I guess, what we are witnessing now is the result of what we have been brought up with...what have been indoctrinated upon us, consciously, unconsciously, willingly, unwillingly. Much to the extend that what's not right according to Islam, can already be accepted as norm...though still not accepted by those who chose to really remain as true & real Muslim.

5.
Anyway, to each his own....the only thing is, when "bala, bencana, malapetaka" come, it's for the masses....so, just be prepared, while we still have time....

Out of this world

2011-03-14T16:20:00.003+08:00

1.
The event that occured in Japan recently (8.9 magnitude earthquake that leads to massive tusnami, for those who were too busy with entertainment news...) should be a good reminder for all of us...including those who still have the heart to make stupid jokes about such disaster.
Since I started breathing the air of the world, I have never read so much earth quakes and tsunami warnings (of course I had no internet access back then...do you?) than what I came across since the ear of internet connection.
So, what are we doing about it?
The videos and still photographs feels so real - we actually witnessed the event as it unfolds. I was on CNN for many hours that day and I realized that as I see it happening, some poor souls were probably struggling for air and their precious life underneath that massive wave of mud and debris. As we at in front of our TVs, some poor souls over there were probably on their way out of this world.

2.
Their time already.
When is ours?
Nevermind, we still have time....yeah...time for what?

3.
It's just too obvious. The signs are getting more and more rampant and much much clearer. Our time is limited....already.

4.
Therefore, forgive me if I am too blunt towards those who are still busy with stuff I don't put high on my priority list. Don't forgive me, it's ok...just find time to reflect on your life once in a while...I try my best to remind whatever I can - here and anywhere - for me & myself...and my friends...the time is coming closer than we could ever imagine. Do something. What? I don't know, it's yours to decide...but just don't include me in your postings about stuff that you know I really don't like - suka-suka saja is soooo outdated...do something that would bring some goods for you...now and for the hereafter.

5.
No outings suka-suka outings this weekend? Watch out for the coming rain...it may be contaminated....but who cares....I don't!
:o)

Segitiga Melingkup Sdn Bhd

2011-03-09T18:16:00.001+08:00

1.
A couple of weeks ago, I received one text message from my former boss while I was assigned to P*t*o*as Dagangan Bhd., asking me my views about Score-A. Apparently the same person (which somehow was NOT supposed to be there and was NOT in the official program at all) who presented to a group of people in a room at Std Charted office, about a year or so ago, approached this former boss and asked him to join her team.

Same old pitch which you may have become accustomed (and perhaps sick to the point of puking on the person's face too..):

- sampai bila kita nak bagi orang lain kaya, kita sendiri bila akan kaya kalau kerja terus untuk orang?
- tak mau ke income RM 4-angka seminggu?
- saya dah berjaya, saya boleh pergi bercuti ke Australia dengan keluarga saya bulan lepas.
- saya dah tempah BMW 3Series, kalau saya tak join business ni entah bila saya akan mampu beli kereta mewah macam tu.
- buat apa kita susah-susah kerja buat business kalau peluang business tu dah ada disediakan untuk kita?
- saya boleh bawa family & mak saya yg dah tua shopping dan diorang boleh ambil apa sahaja, saya bayar...
- ....Semua berunsur JUAH, BELAGAK...EKSYEN nak mampus....you continue with the list lah... I need to puke first....wait se-moment eh....

2.
OK...done.

So, I told the former boss all I knew about it and met him a couple of days after that...he decided not to join because what it is not a business for real...because I knew him for years and from being my boss we have became buddies, I knew he'd not interested in such thing - not for thinkers, strategic planners, educated people who really have done REAL business....like him...and me..and many of you out there too lah ok!

...heck since I am at it already, lemme also state here that some people in the organization I used to be in actually use their office hours for Score-A and one Manager in HR there actually called and asked me to join her team because she was "worried" I have no source of income after I jumped the boat...pfft...she was never there to answer calls, never bothered to return calls or respond to the messages left when I was trying hard to get hold of those idiots responsible to deal with LHDN and suddenly she can call me on my hand-phone number wanted to "help" me....how "noble".....

Well...forget it, go use the company loan to buy that farking BMW or Hondah that you want laa!

(FYI I did join Score-A perhaps much earlier than any of you, just to help a friend and I end up spending RM1k above for a pack of access card or what...never mind, that's another story to be told lah).

This is not about me kasi hantam Score-A people ke apa, I just wanna vent out my "bosan-ness" of these people who think everybody wanna waste their time on "business" to just get rich quick and "eksyen" with the shiny cars and all laa....

So, you think you can't get rich easy by joining the Score-A or any other similar "business"?
Well, let's look at it from this perspective...

You have a job, sitting in front of your computer, churn out numbers, do presentation packs, respond to emails, send emails and once in a while (if not everyday) deal with idiots who happens to hold a higher ranking position than you are...tough..but at the end of the month you poke that card into the teller machine and WALLA!!! You got loads of money!!

So, after all those years you decided that you are tired with the work you have and want to do something else? Joining a "business" that started with the phrases presented earlier (and more lah) would not be a good move. Why?

Have you ever asked yourself what is it that you really want to do if you quit the present job you have?

Generally, if it involved a business that being introduced with "opening talk" using the phrases similar as above....and when the presenter started drawing dots which would look something like a triangle, your "immediate next steps" would look like something the listed below:

- have to attend a gathering where another better ranking achiever-trainer-somnabiatch would "enlightened" you on how the business will make all who came to the talk to become filthy rich.

- have to go through a presentation pack or a softcopy given to you prior to the gathering so that you can come prepared...oh...it used to be tapes, which you'd have to return back at the gathering but now you just get a softcopy into you thumbdrive - yeah, no free thumbdrive somemore laa!...those people are not rich at all, don't you realize that already?? Haha!!
(Note: I was given a couple of tapes back in the 90's by some of these people...because I refused to listen to their talk and go for teh tarik...and in the end I returned the tape without listening to it too...I'd rather be listening to RageAgainstTheMachine musics rather than a baboon giving a sermon to wannabe-rich monkeys).

- have to buy a starter-pack or whatchamacallit and start studying and understanding the "business".

- have to follow the "up-liner" to other sales pitch before you are ready to do yours.

- have to prepare a list of people that you would be approaching and train to be ready to present the stuff form that package mentioned.

....and above all, you'd already be living, breathing, eating and all-other-ing only for the "business".

3.
Once you are done with the immediate next steps above, you'd be calling friends, family members, contacts and all...and try your best to get their time to listen to your "business proposals"....and start spending long hours after work and also weekends to do your "business proposal meetings."

The cycle goes on. The pyramid gets built. Some gets the money, some gets to end up still being in the dreams only lah.

....and before long you realized most of your friends may not be answering your calls or sms....but wonder no more....they got their info from everywhere and they are not really interested to be in the race to get that BMW or Honda or whatever....their Kancils gets them everywhere and they have more quality times with their loved ones...even during weekends as you and your rich-friends are busy in a "business seminar".....

4.
In case you have not realized, some of the famous faces, the successful businessmen and businesswomen of such "business" may actually have fake qualifications. Read it here, in this dude's blog:
Aididleaks
Seriously...how do you get "Prof. Emeritus. Dr. Sir" in front of your name??
Some of the Universities they claimed they went to...don't really exist.

5.
So...are you really going to allow yourself falling into this business-dunghole made by the people who are no smarter than you when in comes to REAL paper qualification?
You decide! :o)

6.
Yeah I have friends who are into MLM or Ponzi schemes or whatever you wanna call the frigging business...but I am yet to see any of them sporting a Ferrari or wearing a Patek-Philippe....the real Patek-Philippe, not the fake ones....like their "business"....heck....how could they afford one if it's the price of a house (that you still owe payment for the next..what 15-20 years?)

Excuse me, I have to fetch my baby now...now where's my Casio watch (100% original wokk!!!)

Honest Hornet

2011-03-07T13:16:00.015+08:00

1.
It has been a while since I last ate a very good breakfast of nasi lemak. So on Friday I decided to take the LRT and walk to the warong near my wife's office. It's my reading day so I have all the time to spend there and anywhere with the books that I want to read....in fact I wanted to get "Teohlogy" by Patrick Teoh because I heard it's really a good read.
So, I started the day with a good nasi lemak breakfast lah....
It was OK, the sambal was a tad too salty than usual. The kakak at the counter is the same - with no terima-kasih in exchage of the money I paid for the foods and sporting the usual unfriendly face, it's a good thing people just care about the food not how they are being greeted or appreciated for that matter. The crowd are there...some old people (pensioners perhaps) and also of course some young people (self-employed like ngoh-hai leh.....or maybe students....or people having "kopi-break" or "mengular")...Chinese, Malays, Indians, Indonesians....cool. Really Malaysia lah so to say....

2.
The thing about good food, I found it difficult to get consistent quality from any "warong" in general. The quality and that "special touch" starts to deteriorate especially when they start "expanding" their menus or extending their serving space - more tables and chairs but same workforce and kitchen. Mass production is also the factor - to my observation - for the deterioration. That's what normally kills a good warong or restaurant or any outlet that serves good grubs. (Please note that "kills" in this context would refer to to my keen interest to go back to have another serving, not the warong goes ka-put and bungkus already lah!)

WHY EXTEND/ EXPAND?

Some people - or probably they would like themselves to be addressed as businessmen - just have never realized that some business is never meant to go bigger than what it really is. Business is being expanded due to demands and (ready or not) the ambition of the shareholders to make it big.
Why big? To bag in more money. To accumulate more wealth. To get that latest HornDuh SeeArVee...use Proton car where got standard? To buy that latest eyePhone or BrackBerry - those thwo are only phones nowadays, other than that are not phone already?? To get that latest iPad 2 so that can show off and play Angry Bird-bird whil siping expensive coffee that you have no idea where it came from. To go have holiday in Australia and show the photos to office mates like everybody else did....you name it. Kiasu laaa...Boleh-Land also becoming like our southern neighbor already, only just a bit worse because we boleh maa?

Reality - what started off as a simple AMBITION somehow turned and lead to GREED.

Before you start flaming (aahhh come on, you do know that it is easier to flame what a person has written rather than writing about some article yourself right? Shortest way to fame...duh!)...take a look at the matter from a different angle.

If you are selling good foods and people keep on coming to your warong, you know you would already have loyal customers and they keep on bringing their friends and families and business contacts to enjoy that plate of nasi lemak....your business is not food anymore but SERVICES.

The cold fact about service (especially in relation to food) is you cannot train others to create the same feel & quality 100%.

...and that 100% is what you have been giving the customer all these while.

Think about it.

There can only be one well let's just say "Warong Bawah Pokok"....it will never be the same if the brand is served inside Pavilion. That's total "wannabe" already, argue what you may but it's a wannabe.

...and for that same reason too, my lovely wife's "PassionCreative Bakery Studio" products is never on the selves of any other kedai or petrol kiosks even though many have approached and suggest for it..not thanx, you do your own business, we do ours and we intend to be in control of our business lah...you wanna get rich fast, go ahead...we want to live a good life and enjoy it for real.

3.
After the nasi lemak breakfast I head on to KLCC Kinokuniya with but one target in mind - buy that book by Patrick Teoh.
...and that was what I did.
...and I found it very hard to stop reading "Teohlogy" so I had to force myself to stop and do some other stuff....before an hour, I found myself reading the book again with that "some other stuff" only half cooked! :o)

The book is really marvelous - to my definition. Patrick tells what he sees and thinks. His opinion. Real story, real situation. What he sees as white, he wrote it as white.

4.
...and the language is sincere too...some may say it is "kurang ajar" but I'd say it is not "kurang ajar" at all, it is what you might say in a normal conversation with good buddies...and thus since maybe you are just too lazy to write and perhaps the kind that would always try hard to look and be proper in front of any other people and can only be your true self when you are alone in your stinking "rumah kecik"...you should either be quiet or you could try writing your views on the same topics instead. Try lah....but do it all in your stinking "rumah kecik" first because that's the only place you can truly be your own self!

5.
I have a reason why I wrote the above lah. (Not because I am trying to write like Patrick Teoh ok?!). A couple of months a go I wrote a nasty "kurang ajar" article about a topic. Many positives and negatives comments flooded the article in my FB, not in this blog la because we all know already what, people now lepak FB only....no need other thing from the net lah...FB only..further more, Boleh-landers are generally lazy to read, anything more than 3 lettered words is already too tiring for the general Boleh-landers....even SMS also must in short forms...correct?

Anyway the response to the article was a tsunami and I then only allowed limited access - reading back the comments, I can say frankly I am ashamed to see how people think and present themselves in writing. The worst kind would be those trying hard to sound like an educated kerbau pendek and comes up with ridiculous points simply "hantam" the article writer back for being a writer telling that white is white. (that is why, a true photographer understand the white balance...otherwise you will say white is blue...your white balance is wrong lah....busy with your stupid tone or what??)

My point here is simple....I have actually mentioned it in one of the sentences above - If you have anything to say against an article or writer, write a proper article. If you just put up a lengthy comment in it, chances are you're not going to be heard....simply because you just don't have enough points to present. Or maybe you just don't know how to elaborate your other points. Or maybe you are just trying to steal some lime-lights and be a hero by -chance. Or maybe because your braincell is just as active as that of a dead sloth.

So, coming back to "Teohlogy: The Word According To PATRICK TEOH" - it is a honest view of what we are breathing and living with here in Boleh-Land. Tabik spring to Patrick for being a sincere writer...heck even the preface is blardy sincere and I could not think of any other witty preface that I have read other than that he has done!

So you tunggu apa lagi? If you have not read Off The Edge from 2005 to 2010....GO BUY "TEOHLOGY" and start reading lah!! :o)

The fact might hurt a lot like being stung by a hornet (I can say this because I have had the experience, being a kampung boy!) but like it or not, that honesty needs to be told. Boleh?

6.
After good hours of reading and writing, I had lunch with my Petronas friends - Hazarizal, Nazri & Sunardi - before I got the Masjid As-Syakirin for Jumaat prayer. Khutbah in English. Good. But it would be better if the khatib really read it with emotion and feeling....no I am not saying the khatib is not pronouncing the words right enough...I am saying this: Reading is reading. Khutbah is not at all like just reading off the text.

Some "leaders" read their speech....politicians read their speech. Words that come out of their mouths may mean NOTHING for those who respect the intelligence given by Allah...
So in this case of the khatib, I salute him for trying his best but he can do better....he must do better....reading is not it.

HOWEVER...the worst thing that I wish I would not encounter ever again since I last did a prayer there actually happened ...hampeh punye executives (not naming any company but they are executives la...who else would be talking London but looks like petai eating Malays who wear expensive watches, slacks/khakis and not cover their head for prayers?)

Next to me, on my right, there was this bunch of youngsters (I admit I am old but many told me I look younger than my age...ok ok I am off the track a bit...ahahah!) was talking about investing in something, the amount of money they paid, the money they got back.....while that poor khatib was trying hard to deliver the khutbah for the benefit of all present. Stupid yuppies.

My left side "neighbor" during that khutbah was busy...sleeping.

Then there was this other guy behind me, so totally busy with his phone calls...

7.
My conclusion for them:
a) The stupid yuppies:
They have not been getting much from their company....kesian....stylo tapi sengkek?
Or...is it like the businessmen who just want to expand just for the sake of expanding like I mentioned above - those executives may have enough but they just want more because everybody is trying to get more than they could possibly chew...isn't it?
Or...maybe those executives have not completed their kelas agama...insyaAllah next Friday they might have completed it and would be quiet when the khatib delivers the khutbah in true emotion and capturing the intention of all in the masjid.

Maybe they think it is ok to talk about anything during the Jumaat prayer session...naive but ...Allah Maha Pengampun maaa?

b) The sleeping neighbor:
He's a very dedicated employee. Probably worked long hours and through the night. That's why a nap duting khutbah is important....because he cannot sleep at his workstation - Boss marah!!

...but sleep during khutbah...Allah Maha Pengampun maaa?

c)
The guy busy with phone calls:
Must be a star performer. Or the boss.
Company paid for the phone & bills so have to answer the call also lah....during khutbah...Allah Maha Pengampun maaa?

8.
Honestly.....I am not a good option when it comes to being role model (and rust me I really suck big time when it come to being a model...or shooting a model!!) but I try my best to be a good HambaAllah, a good rakyat and all.....so, my ramblings - as hurtful as it may be to some including me - is my way to venting my frustrations and voicing my views...to make me a better person....

9.
Want to flame me ah?
Write lah....but like I said earlier (read the whole rambling please!)...maybe you have to do it in your stinking "rumah kecik".

The instruments

2011-03-03T02:23:00.003+08:00

1.
Meet my team of staff in the planning & creative thinking division:
+ Lamy ABC fountain pen - Parker Quink blue ink
+ Lamy aabc pencil - Lamy M44 1.4mm B lead
+ Harley Davidson fountain pen M-point - Parker Quink black ink
+ Lamy Vista VT15153 B-point fountain pen - Parker Quink red ink
+ Lamy Vista VT15153 M-point fountain pen - Pelikan 4001 brillian-green ink
+ Lamy Vista VT15153 M-point fountain pen - Parker Quink black ink

Mileage - very high, for each of them. These are not for show but for real works...each ink is used for specific reasons...each pen's point is chosen for specific function.

2.
I am not sure how many time have written about my fountain pen and writing instruments but one thing for sure, I really am fond of fountain pen and thus why I use it on daily basis. Part of my "workforce" for many years already.

These instruments have worked with me all along and have been good to me through ups and downs...some of the inks that flowed through these instruments may have helped a number of close friends in some occasion.

3.
At about the same time I shot this, Steve Job is launching the iPad2 in San Francisco's Yerba Buena Centre.

Yet another instruments for some things that needs to be done..or just another toy for those who just loves to be in the lime-lights at Starbux or any teh-tarik place gatherings...

As always in the case of new product launch by Mr Jobs, we can see almost every other friends status would related to the new products.

Face the fact - many of us would want to get the latest and the best instrument we can afford (or for some would just "berhutang" just for the sake of having it!).

...and also please face the fact - that I am sincerely sick and tired of these kind of people, sadly some of them are (still) my friends and some are even much older than me.

It is almost like kids yelling out to each other how much they want that new toy on the shelf....but in the end, only to be proud of getting the toy faster than any kids in the neighborhood.

4.
In many ways, we are so bogged down to have "state-of-the art" instruments or gadgets....but do we actually put it to good use and bring in some returns using it as what it is - a tool, not bragging-rights item...

Think and link it back to Islam - we'd probably be wasting money, unconsciously being riak and probably deeply involved in riba (oh yes, check your credit cards statement just in case you have not realized this).

No, I am not jealous or what but I am just observing and stating my mind. If you like it, thank you for lending your time. If you don't like it, thank you and my apologies for wasting your time.

5.
Couple of hours ago, I read the FB status of a friend who happened to be present at a kenduri - she stated that nobody was talking to anybody because everybody was busy with their gadgets....Wow!! Are we becoming a very dedicated workforce or are we just becoming totally dedicated slaves to the small squarish tech-stuff we carry around?

Maybe it's about time to just have on-line kenduri gathering since the iPad2 has 2 cameras now. Forgive my sincere-sarcasm but I do hope you realized something here....I am sure you have seen similar case...or probably the ones doing it.... :o)

6.
...now if you don't mind I'd like to scribble and scratch on my papers with the bunch of instruments I shot above....they are my slaves...not the other way around.

Her first neck tie...

2011-03-02T12:21:00.004+08:00

1.
Alisya was very very exited when she was selected to be the leader of her class group last week. She mentioned to us that she'll be getting a neck tie which she'll be wearing everyday….yesterday she got the tie from the person who used to be the leader and I quickly cleaned it and ironed it. She prepared her uniform last night, eager to wear the neck tie.

Today is her first day as the leader. She woke up early and was ready to go before I even had the chance to have breakfast!

2.
Her role as the leader would be to manage the submission and collection of the workbooks and reading materials, among other things. She has been very helpful and the class teacher favored her to take over because the previous leader was not doing the job well.

Her first learning experience to lead and manage a small group and she's really excited about it. I am sure my baby will take the responsibility much better than the previous kid, Insya-Allah.

3.
Last night, after Maghrib prayers I had a shock.
Alisya wept and hugged me tightly. I asked her why.
"Alisya sayang Ayah…Alisya tak nak hilang Ayah, Ayah jaga Alisya dari baby, Ayah hantar Alisya hari-hari pergi sekolah, jemput Alisya, bagi Alisya makan..Alisya sayang sangat Ayah…."

….I could not say anything but hugged her tightly.
"Ayah pun sayang sangat Alisya. Ayah pun sayang Naufal, Neena, Mama and semua sekali. Alisya good girl, jangan nangis ok, Alisya good girl, Alisya baby Ayah…dah jangan nangis."

4.
Deep inside me, I was worried…I don't know if it is a sign that my days are limited or what…but what ever it is, I will always love my family and they come first, second and third before anything else in this world…and for each day I am around, I would never take for granted the opportunity to hug and kiss them, telling them that I love them.

5.
Ayah sayang Alisya.
Ayah sayang Naufal.
Ayah sayang Neena.
Ayah sayang Mama.

6.
Never take for granted the opportunity of living another day with your loved ones.
You'll never know what would happen before the day ends….

Writing blog, writing block.....

2011-03-01T19:35:00.006+08:00

1.
Read an interesting article in NST (FYI I seldom buy NST, most of the time I'd go for STAR) on Monday 2011.02.28 entitled "Overcoming Writers Block". I was quite pleased to see the title because although I have been writing quite a bit in my yellow "The Book of Torque: Chapter 1", I am still slacking in updating my blog.

The article mentioned a few good points to be on top of the situation, presented below in my own words & interpretation:

a) Brainstorm & organize: get a blank piece of paper (or a fresh page on your computer, iPad , GalaxyTab or whatever toys you lug around for that purpose!), write the topic and jot down whatever that comes to your mind. Don't bother about grammars or spelling or what. Just jot everything down and later on, organize all the ideas and find the central point of the idea. Start expanding with key sentences then proceed to complete each of the paragraphs.

b) Uninhibited writing: simply allow a short time limit (5-10 minutes) and just write down whatever you can think of, related to the topic. No matter it makes sense or not, just continue to write until the time is up, then you should take a couple of minutes to go through what you have done and re-organize it in such a way to enable you to start a proper article.

c) Grouping: I find this quite similar to the loose definition of "mind-mapping". Same with the earlier mentioned point above, grouping method is also about writing with no clear ideas, just a topic or a word that would be the central point of the intended document or article. Place the word in the middle of a blank piece of paper and start to write any similar or related words around it, connecting it to one another as you go along. It should not be logical nor well-structured. Just do it and see how it goes....you may find new ideas and topics.

Above all, bear in mind that writer's block is not permanent...if it is, then maybe you might conclude that you are just not a natural writer in the first place....but still, you should not succumb to the situation and you must find fresh ways to view your topics, ideas or subjects...find the way to continue writing.

2.
SO, what about my personal view on the subject?
Frankly, when I started writing this blog way back in 2005, I have no idea I am going to write this long....6 years already.

Thank you AbeDib for introducing me to Blogspot and asking me to start writing about anything.

I started writing about things that matters to me.
My family. My loved ones. My passion.
My roles in the corporate world that I was enjoying and finally ditched about 5 years after I started writing this blog....

I wrote as and when I feel like writing and it was easy to let my fingers ran across the keyboards of my devices - or my pens & pencils scribbling across the pieces of papers in my journal - maybe because the ideas and words just came naturally from my heart and my mind. It was all about what I am thinking, feeling, experiencing, learning....everything that are close to me. To a certain extent I was really cursing, placing all my hatred and anger into words. It may sounded negative but it prevented me from doing other more negative things - that one is for sure. In all instances, if it is white, I will say it is white. Some may say I should not be blunt or I should be milder in my writings etc etc...I should do this and that and all that other stuff to refrain from writing what I have already written....but to me, I will write whatever I want...and again - in all instances, if it is white, I will say it is white.

3.
It was almost like I just translated what was in my heart into words...and I guess that was the big factor that made it easy for me to write.
The ideas, translated into words, sentences, paragraphs....flows naturally, like water.

...then it became more difficult. Each new sentence requires more effort than the previous one.

Why?

4.
I can only answer the question for myself.

Apart from the adjusting to change in daily life since I left the corporate world, I come to realize that the one big reason why it became difficult is because I started to lost focus - instead of writing whatever I wanted to write, whatever my heart wanted to say, unconsciously I started to write for "audience". (Do note that professional writers are focused on their specific audience).

Not that I have a massive number of readers that would be waiting for my next entry...but somehow I became conscious that I have to "tailor" my writing for such "audience".

Big mistake. Not entirely stupid but still, a biggie.

I realized this after reading the mentioned article a couple of times and quietly questioning myself (again and again...for so many times since last year!) what is it that's stopping me from being able to write as easy as it was.

So, I guess I have found the answer finally and with the aide of the article in NST, I hope to write more and more in this blog and in "The Book Of Torque: Chapter 1".

InsyaAllah...

5.
Do you write?
If your answer is no, please....consider to start writing. It might be the best gift for your kids....because your handwriting, sketches and all, would still be there with your loved ones...even when you are not there with them anymore....

Once upon their own time….

2011-02-22T09:34:00.010+08:00

1.
In my younger younger years, I have always wanted a BMX. In the end I got a Raleigh Power from my parents as a gift for being the top student (again...) in my primary year 3.
Then, for being the first batch of 3r Formers to be appointed as prefects, I get to ride a classic 7-Up bike which I posted from Segamat (borrowed it from my cousin), the bike is still in Kuala Kangsar....I hope so!
When I was in my 3rd year doing Bachelor in Business Admin., I was selected to join a zany-bunch of brothers to tour Peninsular Malaysia-Southern Thailand on sponsored Raleigh roadies. The program was called Kayuh Bakti.
I bought my first FS rig when I started working and now I have a Proton T-Bolt FS rig (as mentioned in some earlier posts in my blog).
Recently, when I started to talk to iLuvIslam.com buddies, we started CycleForCharity program. InsyaAllah it the near future we'll be doing more of the program but for now, I just want to share some experience over the program we did....

2.
"Allah meluaskan rezeki dan menyempitkannya bg siapa yg Dia kehendaki.
Mereka bergembira dengan kehidupan di dunia, padahal kehidupan dunia itu(dibanding dengan) kehidupan akhirat, hanyalah kesenangan (yang sedikit)"
[Ar-Ra'ad:26]

On 2011.02.15, the first CycleForCharity (CFC) by iLuvIslam.com & CHAPTERSimages was done.

It was just a short distance cycle to Pusat Jagaan Siti Nur Aini, Kajang, Selangor Darul Ehsan. Uphill all the way from Kajang town to the area. When we arrived we were surprised to see what's been prepared by Saudara Abdullah Noel, the host. MasyaAllah….we were welcomed and treated like close friends.

Saudara Abdullah Noel, aged 38 years old, dedicated his life to take care of the old folks at the center - named after his beloved wife - which he himself established in 2009. The daily routines is done by his family with the help of only one helper from India.

He's a convert and together with him, his 5 family members - youngest would be Musa, a 3 months old adopted child since 3 days old - embraced Islam as their religion and they have been giving all their love and time to all in the center.

Located in Taman Maju, Kajang Selangor, the center needs about RM15k on monthly basis to keep on surviving. Bulk of the expenditure is for foods and perishables. Alhamdulillah, even though he is just a taxi driver, somehow Saudara Abdullah Noel managed to keep the center surviving thus far.

Their strength and determination to continue providing the best they could afford for the center, is something that we all should salute.

The old folks have a lot to tell. The story of their life, what they were, why they are there, what is to become of them...

2.
When I ask the cycling buddies to ask their group who'd want to join the program, I managed to get about 10 or so saying they would be joining us on that day.
However, we can only plan, Allah knows what's best for us.
On that day only Syed Shaharudin was there to cycle with me to the old folks' center. Alhamdulillah, two is more than just one! :o)

What matters most is we were there to fulfill our promise and to start off something that we hope would bring good to the society - the ones in the center and the participants - physically and internally. What we experienced - the time spent with them - is something that we'd treasure for as long as time exist.

When I started to photograph the event and the old folks, I start to appreciate more what good a DSLR could do to my innerself (and hopefully to those who viewed my shots, insyaAllah). Composing, anticipating the moment, my mind could not stop from thinking and asking.

*Why are they here?
*Who are their family members?
*Do they have family member?
*Where are their family members?
*What's going on in their mind and hearts as they see many young and healthy people visiting them and none of which is their family member?
*Is there any sign of happiness in their heart at all after being sent to this place?
*How would I feel if I am to be like them?
*Are they just waiting for their time and have nothing left to look forward to other that meeting Allah in the end?

MasyaAllah. Too many questions that are going on inside my mind.
...and as always, when I shoot for this kind of event, I will shed tears and have to take a quick break to refocus on my intent and quietly telling myself to be strong and be connected to the subjects. Not an easy thing to do, capturing emotion of others instead of just mug shots.
"Many can make beautiful shots but to make a meaningful shot, that is a different discipline altogether...only driven by sheer purpose and intent." (my own quote lah!).

...Alhamdulillah, the event went well. We were there for a good three hours and insyAllah we will do more for the old folks in the future...insyaAllah..

3.
With a heavy heart and a bag of questions in my mind, I left the place with my good buddy Syed Shaharuddin.....

The old folks rely on each other to face the mundane everyday routine....nothing much for them to do, at that age, in a house with minimal facilities and fund....but yet they still brave their weak bodies, perhaps containing their last bastion of strong will, waiting for their time and silently hoping for some spur of happiness - the moment for their loved one to pay them a visit, maybe today, or tomorrow, or next month...perhaps...

From the bottom of my heart, I can just say a small doa for them....

Allah, be kind to your servants in the center and everywhere else. Please give them strength to continue living the rest of their days.
Please open the hearts of many out here to realize that there is more to life than just being enveloped with their daily busy schedule and reaping all the wealth that they may not be able to use in the end...
Let them be kind enough to contribute what they may for the old folks...
for You, Allah, is the most Gracious and Kind, Please Allah.

Once upon our time, we were loved by our parents.
Once upon our time, we love our little ones….

Please, if you have the heart, pay them a visit, spend some time with them…because they have their stories to share with you, once upon their own time….

~Khairil Faizi Jamian/CHAPTERSimages, MY.

Donation:
Pusat Jagaan Siti Nor Aini
CIMB Islamic Bank Berhad
Account Number: 1267-0000233-10-1

Just Papers

2011-02-17T13:21:00.000+08:00

Oddly enough, I find writing - in my blog, my monologue notes or whatever - has been an extremely difficult thing to do. I don't know why but I do know I have to get moving and make it a casual thing like it used to. There are many reasons (or some may classify it as excuses) to this but all that matters for me now is I HAVE TO START AGAIN, NOW!! :o)

1.

Flood. Segamat. We made our journey back just in time before the peak of the worst. First experience to be trapped in my own hometown and guess what....I turned it into an opportunity and achieved something I have always wanted to achieve ...get a shot published on the front page of the mainstream newspapers in Malaysia.

2.
..and miracles do exist in this sickened world....Alhamdulillah.
Ian Ahmad took some and made it on BH online.
Got a message from BERNAMA, sent some shots...and the next day I received many sms, PM etc congratulating me on the published shots...even BERNAMA informed aboit my shots making the front pages of the newspapers.....the thing is I was in Segamat so I cannot see it because no newspaper were available!!! :o)

3.
...but what I would mark as the main achievement is the one that appeared on The Star - 2011.02.01. Alhamdulillah. Another target achieved.

4.
What else to achieve? Well...just keep moving on! :o)

True?

2011-01-21T13:13:00.005+08:00

Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air.
You name them – work, family, health, friends and spirit …
...and you’re keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball.
If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls – family, health, friends and spirit – are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered.
They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for it.

–Brian G. Dyson President and CEO,
Coca-Cola Enterprises
during his speech at the Georgia Tech 172nd Commencement Address
Sept. 6, 1996.

Recover

2011-01-18T00:24:00.008+08:00

A bad start for the week. Kids caught flu and after a day taking care of them, I joined the club. Heavy dry cough, high temperature...for two days I did not have the energy to sit in front of my laptop. I did not even switch on my hand phone simply because I would not be able to talk loud enough for the person on the other end to hear me. Anyway, Alhamdulillah. There must be a good reason why I have to suffer. What matters most is my kids recover soonest possible. Today is already Thursday, there will be replacement class on Saturday for CNY celebration, I hope Alisya will be ok by nightfall today. Don't want her to miss too much class. Taking care of her involves being strict too - I don't allow her to watch cartoons and end up not resting/ sleeping. So far, so good. Forcing her to drink bottles of clear liquids is not something I enjoy doing but it if has to be done, it has to be done.

Maybe it is time to train them to bring their Sigg bottles everywhere they go, like they used to when they were kids (well...actually I had to carry it in my back-pack).

Twenty Eleven

2011-01-03T03:33:00.001+08:00

1.
Alhamdulillah. Finally it is here. The first year of the second decade of the 21st century.
Nothing much of a celebration for me and my family. I had a discussion with my mentor ImageMaker on the final evening of 2010 and coincidentally met some guys who worked together for a project in Negeri Sembilan.
Saw the fireworks from the highway on our way back to KL. Personally, I am trying to make the celebration more private, just with the family, let them enjoy the fireworks from afar, with something to drink and nibble, say proper prayers, spend some time with Allah, then have a good night sleep and start the new day tomorrow with a good note. That would be a perfect way to start another year.
Being in a crowded place, music thumping through your brains, noisy crowds wrecking havoc through the night and such, is just not my preference. Not anymore perhaps, maybe I can accept it previously, on certain occasions but not anymore.

2.
Quite a number of things came up in November & December 2010...opportunities which translated into rezeki & future projects, insyaAllah....Alhamdulillah, the trips and projects in PML Labuan, KYS K.K., UniMas Kuching, JPM Putrajaya, made me more prepared to move on to the next level.

3.
I regretted I could not spend much time for holidays with my kids and wife but I feel more relieved 2010 is gone because it has been a very rough ride for me, I left a trace of my feelings and thoughts in my journal, even as I wrote it I still feel like I want to stop writing it down and just do and do the things that I wrote, the anger, hatred and all were too strong for me to handle at times but thanx to the writing instruments and the journal, I get to release it off from time to time....and I pray that it will just stay there...that;s the best place for me to tame my anger, to kill my fear (I do not have much of it to be honest), express my feelings, my deepest ideas (some have actually became realities) and all sorts of things that I have in my head...I can say now that seasoned yellow book has became my best buddy after being with me day in day out since 2008.
I named it "The book of Torque: Chapter 1"

4.
So, what's in the pipeline for this second decade? A LOT!
2011 is supposedly to be a networking year for yours truly. However it may be, now I have myself equipped with the "lessons learned" in 2010...no looking back, just looking up for prayers to Allah and looking down to help those who need help..and looking forward to a better year, a better decade. InsyaAllah.

5.
No matter what, my priority still remains the same.
+ Family
+ Family
+ Family
+ ChaptersImages
+ Everything else under the sun

6.
I made it through the barricades.....hello 2011.

Street Photography? Read and learn....wannabe glamboys!

2010-12-15T03:52:00.011+08:00

1.
The reason why I wrote this one was because I could not close my eyes at all and it has been almost 23 hours since I woke up....and simply because my buddy - Ian Ahmad of NSTP became quite upset with an article on a street photographer boy.

2.
So, street photography suddenly became a hot topic (again) due to that article. This is really going out of control but anyway who cares....arts is freedom of expression - oh yeah boy, the thing that is not free would be the legal fee you may have to bear due to your artsy-fartsy mentality. The big bang of the whole fiasco was a couple of years back, when a dude openly claimed he was the founder of the country's street photography. Yowzer!!! How bold!! As like many other professional shooters and some well established lecturers on photography and related arts, I don't even care how much "MisterFounder" has already bagged in because as far as reality is concerned, they are open to many harms and what they don't know is they are making a mess to the public and the society!! ...and it is getting worse!!!

3.
What is street photography? I am not going to write it all here, you can Google it and do your own research. What more important apart from knowing what it is all about, is to understand the boundaries and legalities, to respect the community, the subject you are capturing. To be a responsible photographer. In some outings (and forums) I have even shared about the subject, the key aspects and approach to make it easy and comprehensive for starters to try it out. Those who can still recall the outing with Che' Ahmad Azhar - one of the actual street outing done with many professionals including those from Reuters, EPA, AFP, NST, BH etc etc...CHAP AYAM (hahaa!!!) and of course yours truly's CHAPTERSimages - participants were informed on the do's and don'ts, the boundaries, how to plan the shooting path and sketch, "offensive vs defensive" approach....and many more....and it was all for the love of sharing knowledge - nobody made huge moolahs from it and everybody learned new "valid" stuff.

4.
...but couple of months later, massive groupies were born, hooked a DSLR on their neck, went out to the streets, thought that they are doing something great that nobody has done before and started to became bigheaded to arrogantly declare - HEYYY!! WE ARE IT.
...much to the amusement of those who has been doing street photography for a couple of decades, of course!!
Mark this and never forget this at all - it is not at all about "busuk hati" or "dengki" on the "suck-cess-fool-ness" of that founder - that is his rezeki, berkat, halal or not, it is not for us to comment, just be it - what the real players are really concerned about is the sense of responsibilities, the ethics, the dangers they are exposed to...and they just take things lightly, ignoring some inputs by those who has faced some troubles while doing similar stuff for real....

5.
You can do your own search to read the article and a learned reader would easily detect the inconsistency of statement and the vagueness of knowledge of this (*cough)street (*cough) shooter. For instance:
+ In a composition, the key ingredients are - the main subject, the background/foreground, the supporting elements. Of course it has to be connected. If it doesn't, maybe you went to the wrong "sifu" lah!!! How do you shoot "kata-kata"? You might be able to shoot "verbs" if you are trained as a photojournalist....understand what is a "verb"?
+ If you were not trained to anticipate the moment.....you better call your sifu and ask for refund!!! It's like you reading a whole novel but what you understood is just the picture on the front page.....
+ Being ethical by smiling? Ethics is not just about smiling!!! It comes prior and past the shots done. Wait till one day a guy slaps your forehead for doing your street-arts stuff...then you try smiling at him, see how it goes.

You don't know you are putting yourself in a very dangerous position and all that - just for fun?

Daymm....I can really understand how tragic it was for Ian Ahmad (NSTP) and some other photojournalists and lecturers to read this!!!

6.
I would encourage the newbies, starters, beginners to really do a thorough search on the subject that you want to learn and try. Find the person who has the real experience and knowledge, a qualified professional is a human being, it would not cost you RM300 per session of teh tarik or YM chat!!!

7.
Acid test - so, you are a street photographer...pop quiz!!!
What is iN-PUBLiC?
Who is Henri Cartier-Bresson?
Name one of the widely exhibited work series by Trent Parke?

8.
If you cannot answer those, you should realize that you are just wasting your time, dude.

9.
Be a responsible photographer. Stop making a fool of yourself.
Slogans on those shirts that go like:
"Photography is not a crime"
"I am a photographer, not a terrorist"
"Shoot without fear"
- you wanna know what these words really mean?

To a burglar:
"HEY LOOK I HAVE A BIG-ARSE CAMERA, COME AND ROB ME PLEASE!"

To any educated human:
"I AM HERE TO ANNOY YOU AND TRY HARD TO LOOK COOL LIKE A REAL PRO AS I DO IT. DON'T BOTHER TO TELL ME OFF BECAUSE I DON'T READ THE LAW"

The burglar easily identify his target.
The educated human starts to get conscious - lost of natural beings of potential subjects - and those who are really annoyed may just move away from the area - no subject to shoot.

Get it? NO?
Ok simple as this - you don't show your equipments in public. You don't tell people you are carrying stuff in that Crumpler of yours. It is dangerous.....and after you scoop your shot and you use it for other than the allowed arena by law, you will find your self in trouble.

Real street shooters around the world don't go out on the street like a porn-star dickhead. What more in a mob sporting glamor t-shirts.....and loads of equipments!! Some pro street shooter use single body & lens. Even point & shoot camera, with certain capabilities/functions..because (here's another free lesson for you) the presence of a huge DSLR (and a freaking idiot who's smiling and try to look cool behind it!) would just destroy the natural beings of the subjects.

Street photography is NOT 200% ABOUT YOU!!
IT IS ABOUT YOU BEING RESPONSIBLE AND RETURNING SOMETHING BACK TO THE SUBJECTS AND UNDERSTAND THEIR RIGHTS - and yours! YOU HAVE TO BE RESPONSIBLE TO THE SUBJECTS, TO YOUR OWN SAFETY.

10.
Be aware of glamor-groupies and the glamor-hogs in FB or anywhere. It is ok to join them if you are just determined to do something in your free your time, spend some money and all, nothing wrong with that, it's your life BUT PLEASE try to be safe at all time and most importantly BE RESPONSIBLE TO YOUR SUBJECTS...and what you do with what you have scooped.

...as for those who really want to do it serious rather than s to quick stardom, find a true professional who knows the subject and have years of experience and track record. Real professionals are always willing to share knowledge and open up opportunities for those you dare enough to approach and show your works to them. That's how I started my journey and I still have frequent discussions my mentors.

11.
I wrote this because I could not stand anymore listening to my friends story about their family members being followed/ harassed by these bunch of people. So, if you don't like what I wrote, it's ok. I don't like your attitude in the first place anyway but I am just going to be polite and say - thank you very much, for wasting your time!! :o)

...but stop and think:
If one day you found a photo of your wife/fiance/girlfriend/YOUR MOM??...in a certain position that "revealed her assets and whatever" being caught by some street photographers and posted up/ viewed and shared by many....then you might know how damaging it has been all these while...and what are you doing about it now?

Hey...have a look around, who knows maybe there's a shot of you squatting and having a fag? Seriously....scout around.

So, next time when you see a bunch of people with DSLRS focusing on you, you should know your rights....already.

The time is mine

2010-12-13T02:29:00.002+08:00

1.
For the past couple of months, things have been moving quite fast. I had three trips to Labuan, one trip to Kota Kinabalu and then moved on to Kuching. Planning for more trips in 2011. Jobs have been coming in, despite the fact that I have not printed any business card yet!! Had a good holiday with the family, went up to Perak then down to Segamat for Hari Raya Haji, then up to Kuala Terengganu till Kota Bahru. Yeah, life have been fine. Alhamdulillah. How time really flies - a year has passed by since I left Petronas and I have never regretted my move at all. Alhamdulillah.

2.
The "struggle" to make a living with my DSLR equipments continues. "Struggle" in this instance is defined as the effort and discipline I had to put in, not much to do with the difficulties of surviving or what. I have my plans and strategy, which mostly yet to be executed in full, some are not even being disclosed to my close family members - not that I don't trust them but I have learned my lesson well - ideas are best to be kept incubated within my own boundary, because some others may shamelessly take it up and claim all the glory for it.
The journey to continue living this "new life" I have decided to have is quite amazing and not entirely as easy as it seems. I have highs and lows which jot down in my life journal which I fondly name "The Book Of Torque: Chapter 1" which I have started writing since February 2008.
At times, I really expressed my feelings in the book, which helps a lot to release the pressure I am dealing with. Whatever I wrote in it, everything is based on my sincerity to speak out my mind and feelings.....so that once the pressure is off my system - instantly or gradually - I can focus on my other journals i.e. the book of ideas, the book of planning & execution....not merely about jotting down stuff but to make it work and reap the benefit from it.
I guess that is why I want to get my kids to write journals as early as possible, the ones they now have is about what they do during holidays and free time.
Documenting our life - expressing our mind in a journal, is something that not many would be able to do seriously for whatever reasons they have.
Me, I do it as and when I feel I need to do it, not everyday but enough to leave the memory of me and what I have in my mind over the years that I lived.

3.
Nowadays, I tend to need more than 24 hours a day to do all the stuff that I have in mind. Now that I am on my own, I realized that I am more choosy to spend time with anybody else unless it is going to bring in some benefit to me, my family or my business. Which means that I don't alow MLM and the similar stuff to get in my way at all (Ahahaahaa!!!)....and TT sessions too, I don't want to sit down and talk with nothing to achieve at the end of the session. Even phone calls, I would very much prefer it to be short and direct to the point. I get pretty much annoyed when the person on the other end of the like asking me if I know him or not....sheeesh!!
Quick, short, precise, and move on. Time is precious. I will spend it the way I want and not the way others want it to be spent - like what it was back in the corporate world....now I am in total control of my time and no freaking "policy" is there to be followed. I make my own policy, I am in total control. I am really enjoying this. Being in total control of my own time. My own life....no more having to be in a meeting with their superiors at 630pm...no more stupid morning meeting with no result and focus....no more listening to smart asses who just have to speak out their stupid thoughts to impress the bosses in a meeting....ahhh...you name it. I really love to be free from all those stupid meetings, after 13 years, this one year of freedom really is a good break that I have long deserved!!

5.
I would say the best part of being free to do whatever you want in your own time is you get to do your stuff at a period of time where you know you can perform the best. No pressure, just the joy of doing the stuff you like to do. Discipline is there, of course, otherwise you will get nowhere.
Only slaves have to complete their jobs at the given time and be there whenever wanted by their masters, that is not discipline - not to my definition at least!

6.
No, I am not making fun of what others have to deal with - those who have to come to office by certain time and get things done within certain hours, then get a big fat salary by the end of the month, maybe big fat bonuses and promotion for being a good boy/ girl to the eyes of the management...and all that jazz about being a corporate citizen....no, I am not making fun of what you all have to deal with but I am merely sharing my feeling of having the freedom to own 24 hours a day to my own self.

7.
For the past 12 months, I have experienced how it is to really have my own 24hours a day. Alhamdulillah. I just love it!

Craze

2010-11-06T03:55:00.004+08:00

The only craze that I would want to have for ever - spending time with my kids & wife, my family.
....and since they are already capable of playing board games, it is part of the activity that I really look forward to do with them whenever we have the time to do so....of course there are priorities to oblige to....they are growing up and now is the time for me to mold them to become better persons than me. InsyaAllah.

Creating and destroying something without realizing anything

2010-11-02T12:53:00.007+08:00

One of the huge, massive challenge I am facing in my journey to do my own business or build my presence in the professional photography world would be the time I have to do what I have to do. NOT talking about the long term basis but the daily basis, the mere 24 hours a day that we all have.

The discipline to manage and utilize the limited 24 hours a day is more stringent compared to when I was not doing it professionally. Each day means a lot. Each hour means a lot. Failure to make the most out of it means failure to proceed well in my journey.

2.
So, talking about actual free time, being a self-employed dude, in total reality, I don't actually have much free time. Simply because all 24hours is mine and I have to make it work for me, myself and I. With that in mind, I have to be selective on how I want to spend the hours.
This may sound rude to many, but for me, I tend to think that any salary earner can do whatever they want and still get the salary at the end of the month. Thus, if the person just sits around and does nothing, the salary will still be there….but the performance rating and all is a different story, of course.
….I guess that's why I can see lotsa salary earners "roaming" the Facebook-land and all almost anytime of the day. They have nothing to lose. Of course, they'd still perform and get their performance rating managed well. Heheheh!!! True? True enough, I bet.

3.
…but take a step back and think.

The hours spent, on company's expenses, and all you deliver could have just been done in 3-4hours of actual concentration. The rest, is about fire-fighting, planning and all that jazz. Nothing wrong, on the surface…but it is really ethical? You have to answer that on your own. Yup…you can say you are on your BB or iPhone or iPad and your own broadband access…but the time, that supposedly "belongs" to the company, is being "robbed", for your own well….urhhmm…networking time. (ok, to be precise - ENTERTAINMENT time lah!!!)
So, it is totally different, as a self-employed person. I can be on "entertainment" mode every hours and get nothing….or I can be on "work+entertainment" mode and get some molars…..my choice, and the hours are mine, not for my employer.

Keyword - robbing the hours that you are being asked to do work for the employer.
Think.

4.
I guess that's why I cannot see some "management" level on Fb as much as they used to be when they were just "machai". They have to be "professional" more than they used to, perhaps!!
Nothing is wrong with that. It's a free world. Do whatever you want to, you have all the argument to say you are doing the right things. Good for you.
…but not entirely as good for your employer, I bet!!!

5.
The world is becoming a borderless piece of interactive room - thanks to the devices and technology advancement we have now.
In the same instance, we tend to forget that we are really living a life. Actual interaction. Actual conversation. Actual sex, for the sake of argument!!!!
Spending more time on the "social platform" seems to make us in contact with more people than we actual do in real life. There are goods to that…as much as the bad part of it.

6.
Real relationship, that has been built for many years, can crumble to earth with just the access of time spent on the social platform.
I bet you have heard, read or even experience such issue.
Don't get me wrong, I love spending time on-line and write, post up stuff for my business and all, chat with fellow photographers and friends...BUT I totally remain focus on making something out of the interaction.
I don't spend time to create an affair, fling, scandals, to get connected to girls or what.
Some people, they do that...oh yes...even without them realizing it.

7.
Like it or not, we want ATTENTION.
When there are others giving us that attention we have been craving for, we'll tend to get connected and somehow, sooner or later, attached to them...it is easy to get attached, manusia sekarang ayat power-power beb...muka hensem skit, senang jer ayat anak orang, gepren orang, awex orang, bini orang, janda orang. Manusia lakhanat la tu.
Then, the ugly story starts to plot.
What may have started off as "business intent" will turn into another scenario.
If it goes out of control….BOOM! Good-bye everything. To put it simple.
….and years of happiness will be at a junction. You decide which turn to take.

8.
My point is - we have to live the real life we have. Not the fantasy life we "wished for" or we have always want to have.
Make use of the facilities, technology or whatchamacallit to make good things for you and your loved ones. Not otherwise. Focus on your life. Not on other people's life. Not ever. Never cross the line. You may think you are doing something good for the other person at the end of the line….but is it doing any good for their spouse/ family in real life?

9.
Therefore, if you have a wife or family, think about this.
Old high-school buddies, friends, lovers and all, be aware of them. They will create trouble at the time you least expected. You may found out that most of them are cowards. No balls….but you may already be too late to do anything. So, be alert. Be truthful. Life the real life you have. Deal with what you have on your agenda. Don't bother to help others if you cannot even help your self to provide the basics for your own family.

10.
No, you may not agree to what I have written. I am just telling and saying what my heart wants to say. That's all. I live ONLY my real life. I am happy with it.

11.
What you have, may be all the one that matters. If you don't appreciate it, others may. You'll be the one to lament about it before you know. So, take charge. Be aware. Deal with it……before other irresponsible idiots start to meddle your turf.

Moving on and on and on.....

2010-10-27T01:13:00.002+08:00

Working on improving the looks of my profile write-up.....

Terfikir...

2010-10-15T04:30:00.001+08:00

1.
After solat Jumaat last week, I had a humbling moment...and I want to share it with all, especially my kids and wife and my family.......

2.
If there's ever a prayer that I never for about a decade, it would be the solat sunat after Jumaat, and on that Jumaat, I spent some time after the prayer for some doa, thinking and reflecting....and then I stood and walked out of the praying area. I saw a pakcik with a tongkat walking towards the restroom area. He stopped as he reached the set of stair, put his tongkat down and tried to go down the small steps with his arms leaning hard against the wall in his effort to avoid from falling.

I was quite astounded by the effort of this old man...but I could not just stand and admire his effort so I helped him to get down the stairs and handed his tongkat and helped him to walk across to the restroom area.

Then came Pakcik Wahab (the famous Wahab Cendol owner lah) who gave the pakcik an amount of cash. (I can understand why....because I observed that Pakcik Wahab will need the assistance of his sons to climb up his driver seat of his van every time after prayer.)

The pakcik thanked me.....but I was worried that he would fall down or what, when I asked him if he's ok, he said he's fine, no problem, no worries, thank you.

I left the mosque with questions in my head....

2.
I am blessed with lotsa good things in life.....and one of it would be having good parents. My Abah is still able to walk on his own. So is my Mak.
The incident with the pakcik made me questioned myself:
- would I be there when Abah or Mak or my parents in-law need assistance like that pakcik?
- would there be a person to assist them if I am not there with them?
- would my wife and/ or children still care for me when I reach that age and situation (if ever)?
- would there be a person to assist me when I reach that age and situation (if ever)?
.....being able to walk easily is something too natural for me (and many of us)...and I tend to forget that one day, it is possible that I would face some difficulty to walk - as age adds on to my life.

3.
....and it made me think, time will still fly as we are busy living or working or doing whatever it takes day-in day-out until that moment came for us to realize that we have spent so many years living....and here we are, at that point of time in the future, realizing that we have missed something or lost something along those years..and perhaps,regretting it.

4.
Appreciating the small little details of blessings from Allah is probably something that I have took for granted. Thank you to that pakcik (and Alhamdulillah, thank you ALLAH) for that moment that made me realized about being more thankful of what I have been blessed with.

5.
...and I might have been too demanding to my kids & wife.
I sensed that it is quite an effort for me to ask for a hug and kisses from them nowadays.
I must learn to accept that being hugged is not something that I can ask anymore, it is something that they should be willing to do....but nevertheless I would always hug and kiss them whenever they are in need of one. Maybe one day they will meet a pakcik like I did last Friday.

6.
Alhamdulillah.

Harga sebuah BMW as far as Aliya Irdina is concerned!!! :o)

2010-10-06T15:06:00.008+08:00

1.
I have many things to write. In this blog. In my personal journal.
I have many observations to share, questions to ask, ideas to bounce...
...but I have 24 hours in a day. Same like everybody else. I have always questioned myself if I have improved on utilizing the only 24 hours I have in a day....and I cannot give an accurate answer to that. I can only evaluate the path I have taken....the effort and investment I have done vs the amount of RM I have accumulated to keep my family afloat. Alhamdulillah. I don't want to tell some of the details of the story here. I only share it with some privileged few......

I learned my lessons and I still have 24 hours a day.....so when people say I have lotsa free time, I can only say - they are not appreciating the 24 hours they have as much as I do!

2.
After every tiring (and successful, Alhamdulillah) trip/ job - returning back to the family is a great blessing. Small celebration is always in place. Nothing fancy. The important thing is to show them how much I have missed them and I still love them as much as I did before I left for the trip/ job...and even more than that...

3.
Reached Sunway Tower from Labuan at around 2pm today. My lovely wife joined me for lunch. She had a funny story with Aliya@Neena this morning:

N: Mama, nanti Mama belikan BWM untuk Neena eh...
W: BMW? Kenapa?
N: Cantik lah kereta tu....
W: Neena pernah naik BMW ke?
N: Tak. Neena pernah naik Exora aje.
W: Habis tu kenapa nak beli BMW? Berapa harga BMW tu?
N: Alaaa...tujuh ringgit seposen aje....Mama belikan eh?
W:(Giggles) Wahhhh murahnya....kalau macam tu 100 pun Mama boleh belikan!!!

.....Hahahaahaha!!! :o)

4.

.....siap la petang nanti...apa nak menjawab kalau Neena tuntut BMW dia!!!!

5.
Whatever other people is biatching and complaining about, whatever others are assuming about you, just make sure that as far as you are concerned - LIFE IS GOOD. ALHAMDULILLAH.

Things I have to cope with due to the society's fondness of Celebrating Hari Raya The Melayu way

2010-09-20T05:09:00.004+08:00

1.
The title might sound like I am an anti-social dude or something. Well, I am not. I am just sick and tired of watching, observing, experiencing the celebrations around me, donned by too many as part of the religion where as it is more like absorbing pagan rituals into what should have be a clear and simple religion.
...too many idiots around for so many years, in the end some of these "activities" have become part of what was (and should always be) a meaningful but humble celebration.

2.
So, to keep me reminded on these "activities" I have decided to write it down and share it with whoever would want to read this blog. Your views are welcome, even if you disagree but please put some valid points - not merely trying to slash my statements with sarcastic or idiotic remarks! That would just state the obvious - you're born to be an idiot!!
Ok, here we go...in no particular order..

3.
"Malam Tujuh Likur"
Some smart-arses actually defined it as "malam malaikat landing". Pandai...pandai nak mampos.
There is no such requirement to put it as part of the celebration. Above all, it is just a culture that have been practiced by generations and generations of Melayu (not Muslims) and the focus of it would be to light up the village areas, the houses with "pelita" which some may profusely linked this to Hinduism but the famous argument is the "pelita" was used to light the path to the surau for the jemaah to perform maghrib & isya prayers and then continue with tarawikh prayers (and maybe late night/ early morning prayer or qiamul-lail).
BUT!!!! The focus of the majority was (and is) about firecrackers, loitering around, talking, spending long hours of preparing raya cakes and decors....
....and not really about properly spending more time to appreciate the final week of Ramadhan.
So, personally if anybody comes to me and talk about Tujuh Likur, I am sure it is about meriam buluh, mercun and the kids stuff that have been embedded by too many for too long already....and for an adult to do all these, it would be such a waste of time.

So, Malam Tujuh Likur is kinda not supposed to be in the actual Muslim way of celebrating the end of ramadhan...sibuk sangat nak jadi Melayu sejati ke nak jadi Muslim Melayu?

You decide....not me.

4.
On the final stretch of the Ramadhan, maybe we'd be busy baking cakes or decorating the house for the celebration. The main focus of appreciating the final week/ days of Ramadhan are still there of course...look around in the world of Facebook, may voiced out how they'd miss Ramadhan etc etc...hopefully the intentions are pure and true lah!
Pasar Ramadhan? The final week would be where the profits would surge to the max, perhaps? Everybody would be too busy to cook for ifthar - busy shopping etc etc - buying from PARAM/ BARAM (bodohnya bunyi, buruk siut korang panggil pasar Ramadhan nama mcm tu!) would be the best option.
...and good thing the people who are selling at the Pasar Ramadhan are ready to perform maghrib - isya - tarawih on location. They sell their kuehs and all but yet they never miss the prayers....(ada betul kaa?)

5.
...then on the morning on 1st Syawal...we'd be busy preparing for the solat sunat Eidulfitri....sulat Subuh camana pulak? Then kalau kena solat Jumaat pulak....camana? :o)

6.
Lepas solat...ziarah. Macam-macam la aktiviti kekeluargaan, kemasyarakatan dan sebagainya yg akan berlangsung. Ziarah rumah sanak saudara, rakan taulan dan sebagainya....

Behind all that, many would as forgiveness from each others....salam....yes salam, tanpa mengira batasan aurat to a certain extent. Bagi duit raya - tanpa memahami apa tuntutan dan tujuan sebenarnya, lantas bersandarkan kepada niat sedekah.....kids with parents driving Al-Fart get more than kids with the dire need to have decent school attire....sedekah yg bertepatan dgn tujuan atau semata atas tekanan masyarakat dan trend semasa?

Frankly, I only give my anak-anak saudara the sama-rata amount. Beyond that circle, I don't. Sorry, I am not kedekut....but I know there are more deserving kids out there that needs the money more than us easily flaunting the kad duit raya to every kids that come to our place...unless the kids' parents are poor...but are they poor if they do not even finish the drink you poured for them and wasted a couple of kuih raya & dishes for that mere 20-30minutes of being there?

Rezeki tu..macam itu ke kita didik anak2 kita...tak perlu habiskan hidangan yg orang beri?

...and frankly, I really dislike kids who just came for the duit raya. I openly scolded my kids if they start to go overboard asking for duit raya from others together with te bunch of kids around them....yes, your father is not a billionaire but you are my kids and I don't want you to become accustomed to the like the sickening attitudes of some kids of some parents in our overly-confused society....ok Alisya, Naufal, Aliya?

....and of course the ritual of comparing the achievements...what car you are driving, what condo you are living in, berapa juta dah harta kau....I went back to kampung driving the most berkarat of our car - the old rustic Wira. Tak polish hapah pun...but it took us everywhere.

7.
...and you know what's the most sickening thing I had to cope up during this festivities?
The rituals of mintak ampun & maaf from others....yg tak bertempat & tak berpatutan.
Especially those of ex-girfriends/ boyfriends/ old flames.
It is over so why sibuk2 nak htr mms/sms/call ke hapa punyer haramjadah to other people's wifes/husbands? Korang ni nama ajer Islam ke? Bodoh...tak belajar agama ke?

8.
Orang berlumba-lumba buat OPENHOUSE.....dah betul ke cara, niat & tujuan sebenar?
Tanya and jawab sendirilah....
I already have a steady list of friends whom I know would come and visit me & my family regardless I serve what food, how poor I am or how filthy rich I am.....and for that, I feel blessed. Alhamdulillah. There are those who has been always giving excuses but I never hated them, I have to accept that I am not in the priority list of others that are more important to them. I salute them for that, they know their priorities, as I also know well my priotities.

9.
Anyway, it is up to you all to think about it. I am not spreading hate over the religion's required way of celebration...I merely state the things we have conveniently overlooked while celebrating the arrival of Syawal.

10.
Let's continue being real Muslims....not merely Malays.....

...nice Nike

2010-09-14T21:00:00.004+08:00

.....yeah..Neena's new shoes.

Note: Mobile upload. Shots done on Nokia E5-00 @ Mystic.

Red lah..

2010-09-14T13:58:00.006+08:00

Really Red lah!!

Note: Mobile upload. Shots done on Nokia E5-00 @ Mystic.

Red

2010-09-14T11:18:00.003+08:00

Painting the city red.

Note: Mobile upload. Shots done on Nokia E5-00 @ Mystic.

So how many hours do we have with the kids/family?

2010-08-05T03:10:00.008+08:00

It's about 3am, I cannot sleep well, can feel the temperature rising inside.
With a mug of KapalApi coffee, let's try to jot something that I have wanted to jot all week long.
No intention to make anybody feel bad or what. Just a thought. A reflection for all of us.

2.
We have 24 hours a day. Most of us work and that means at least 8 hours a day gone.
Owhhh darn it!!!......we now have Blackberry & whatchamacallitITshite that would allow 24x7 access to everybody in the world....how do we count that in this case, we work 24x7 whole year long??!!!

Let's just assume the "Blackberry & whatchamacallitITshite that would allow 24x7 access to everybody in the world" are just for status & fashion statement lah....just for show because kalau tak pakai tak class lah pulak...tapi kalau ada pun tak bermakna kena kerja 24x7 ye tak? :o)

So. we'll make that working hours to about 10hours a day, to be very generous on the traveling time to and fro, the lunch/ tea time with the office bunch...and extra hours to cover up the smoking + mengular time whenever applicable....

Normally we'll sleep for about..what..let's say, 6 hours.
About 1 hour of prayers time in a day - 5 waktu & solat2 sunat "meeting the requirement" only (...of course this allocation of time is only for Muslims/ Muslimah who pray lah!)
Allow another 1 hours for bathing and nature's call in the morning and evening.
Another 2 hours for TV or Internet time after office hours (yeah...let's not talk about the hours online spent in the office....)

Total that up....10 + 6 + 1 + 1 + 2 = 20.
20 hours in total.

In a day we have 24 hours (DUH!)...which leaves us about 4 hours of family time in a day - normal working day, perhaps.

So, in 5 working days we have about 20 hours to spend with our kids/ family.
That's about 16% of the total 120 hours in 5 days (24x5 = 120)

Let's be more generous, we have 2 days break.
Each day, maybe we 'll do 8 hours of sleep.
..same allocation of 1 hour of prayers time in a day (...of course this allocation of time is only for Muslims/ Muslimah who pray lah!)
About 1 hour of hygiene time a day (bathe+do-the-loo)
About...say...3 hours of personal time (internet laa, reading laa hobby etc. etc.)

Owhh....golfers...hrmmm 5 hours on the field, mid-way hut drinks, locker room chat, lunch & more drinks after that...ahh malas lah nak kira for golfers!!! Get the caddy to do it for you lah!!!

Back to the weekend maths...

8 + 1 + 1 + 3...so, that should be about 13 hours a day...which means we have about 11 hours for family time. So for the two day weekend, we have 22 hours for the kids/family out of 48 hours given. 45%. Not bad at all.

Total the whole 7 days: 22 + 20 = 42 hours of kids/family time....out of 168 hours.

Generally, we spend about 30% of our time for the company in a week.
Generally, we spend about 27% of our time for a good rest in a week (membuta dalam meeting room/ office not included!!!).
Generally, we spend about 25% of our time with the kids/family in a week.
Generally, we spend about 10% of our time to be online in a week (teeheheheh..yeah right!!!)
Generally, we spend about 4% of our time to bathe+do-the-doo-doo in a week.
Generally, we spend about 4% of our time to pray.

I am sure we give 200% to each of the items mentioned.....especially the 25% time for the kids/family.....we would not substitute money for the quality time we'd spend with them...right?
Now now...be sincere!!! :o)

We spend about the same time of praying and being in the bathroom (itupun kalau sembahyang lah....well maybe a bit more but not even 10% in total...)

We spend a fraction more time for the company than for the kids/family...tak kira lagi dinner lah, training lah workshops lah meeting after office hours lah....and the actual "body, mind & soul" presence - kalau tak, apasal bawak balik laptop company every night + weekends?? (Kalau setakat nak ber FB/ Blogging etc. on company asset juga....hmmm!)

I am not going to say much....just look at the numbers and figure it out.
Of course, we have holidays and all....which should be more or less like a weekend percentage mentioned above....but..well, draw your own conclusion!

:o)

NOTE: The calculation might not be right.....but you are smarter than me, so, you get the idea, now just do it and conclude! :o)

This is what I think....

2010-07-21T22:13:00.017+08:00

1.
Fuel price is up again. Same old story, minus the street demonstrations and massive gatherings...would be nice to have those again!!! :o)

Oh well, enough already. We all know it will be reduced - the subsidies - so get ready to absorb it back. If you cannot afford the fuel, then why are you driving that car you have?
Lining up at the petrol station to get a full tank of the price before it increases the next day is really unnecessary...unless if you are truly stupid and still insist it is a ritual you'd want to do every time the fuel price hikes!
Oh..and you thought the gas price was not going to be affected?

Too bad....but hey come on, if you drive a Beamer, would you attach it with NGV tank?
Oh please!! You must be wearing a fake Tag Heuer on your wrist then!!!

Can't you see we already have too many expensive vehicles with NGV tanks? Orang Kaya yang miskin or Orang Miskin yg Kaya? Or maybe Orang Bodoh yg suka berlagak Pandai & Kaya?

Not that I care much about gas sales, no I don't but well, if you still cannot afford the fuel for your car and have to install NGV to it, better think deep and make a proper decision....of course it goes without saying if the Toyoltah Al-Fart or EstiMak, Hon-Duh Strim, or whatever fancy car you have are part of the deal for "allowing" a project to proceed....definitely your money will never be enough.....NEVER. Partly because it is haram...partly because you are always tamak for more..in totality, is about what you want and how you're getting it.

My point is simple - kalau nak berlagak kaya pun, considerlah punca rezeki tersebut.

Bukan kita tak tahu bersepah yg konon kaya tapi punca rezeki dgn menindas orang lain & mengenepikan untutan agama Islam yg kononnya mereka anuti....sendiri fikir lah...sebab tu ramai yg memekak bila harga naik la itu ini...hakikatnya - gaya hidup melebihi kemampuan pendapatan.....sampai yg haram pun jadi halal sebab nak maintain style...biar papa asal bergaya...kan?

So, biar masuk nereka pun tak apa, asalkan bergaya....macam tu???

2.
So...still mahu halalkan yang haram?
Bak kata Ustaz Ismail Kamus - Susah nak cakap....jadilah - HALAM??

3.
Let's borak a bit on that title - menghalalkan yang haram.
We have been to accustomed or tuned-in to the things we are doing that we fail to realize some of it is not really in parallel to the teachings in Islam....and yet we still claim we are Muslims, well at least during Ramadhan we don't want to be caught not fasting...some even wear tudung for the sake of Ramadhan (only? Teheheh!!!)....ok let's start with my ramblings...

a) Tudung.
NOTE: Those who refuses to wear for whatever reason (including the likes of "aku sembahyang full siap bangun malam sembahyang lagi") just spare your argument with Allah when your time comes.

So, now we have so many options of tudung in the market. I don't know what to name here but I guess as a Muslimah or a Muslim too (perhaps) you do know there are may styles of tudung now. Good to have choices perhaps...but does it really fit the purpose of a tudung as required by Islam?

Mengaku ajer lah...mostly NO.

Tersingkat sana, terdedah sini, terbojol sana, terjebih sini, dah tu yg dgn sanggul macam bonjol unta lagi....buruk nak mampus...but I guess the trend of "busana muslim" now is like the conventional fashion world too - the uglier is the prettier?

Wake up already!!! As a Muslim, we are supposed to take care of our aurah (thus why I don't wear rugby shorts in public!!)...and the label "busana muslim" does not mean it concur to the given guideline of Islam.

So, siapa nak menjawab?

Sendiri pakai, jawab la sendiri....kalau yg dah ber suami pulak, dgn suami sekali laa menjawab jugak...tak tegur sebab itu dah dresscode yg professional? Oh how more professional can one be other than being truly professional to his/ her own creator?

Haaa lantak lak korang....I have done my part here....so, good luck lah nanti! :o)

b) Pakaian - top/ bottom
Even with a proper tudung, the blouse & trousers would still be questionable whether it fits the requirements of Islam...heck even the jubah being sold now pun are quite questionable....ketat tak menentu kat bahagian tertentu, too revealing compared to wearing a blouse infact.

Seluar/ pallazo or whatever...I bet many realized, ada yang terlalu sendat dan ketat, siap orang boleh trace the panty lines....jadah hapa bertudung kalau macam tu kan?

Bangga sangat ke orang sekarang ni tunjuk bodyshape kat public? Termasuklah lelaki - kemeja kerja sampai terbojol biji tetek....mesti mau tunjuk ke yg kau pergi gym 40 jam sehari dgn gym partners kau yg some mmg jenis gaylakhanat tu?
Adeihhh....jantan apa skrg ni ramai mcm pondan dah???

Again...kalau kau tu suami & isteri kau macam tu...boleh la refer at mana-mana Ustaz tanya pasal apa itu dayus. Modern & professional sangatlah kita ingat...padahal dah jatuh bab dayus tak mau ambik tahu lagi tu....

c) Wangian (Perfume laaa)
Perfume mesti branded....tak main la perfume celup kan? Paling tidak pun BRANDED CELUP pun boleh laaa...nak meang jugak tapi tak cukup duit nak bayar credit card yg dah max tu nanti....maklum lah professional, yuppy.

Bau dia punya cerita....sebatu lagi orang dah terbau.

Of course, consultant will sell the same shit la - it will boost your confidence & presentability.
Sampai bila nak ikut cakap consultant yg telan duit for selling stupid craps tu? Apasal haram plak kan pakai Ferragamo, Hermes etc etc utk solat? Presentable aperr wangi & branded?

Kat akhirat nanti sure presentable giler eh...sempat aaa nak tuang Channel No5 1liter sebelum mengadap Allah nanti kut?

(Owh...kalau korang tu jenis tak solat tak boleh cakap apa lah kan.....nak tegur tak boleh lah sebab semua lagi pandai drpd ustaz/ustazah yg khatam berapa banyak kitab Fiqh...mana tak pandai, Quran pun baca in English sahaja....)

4.
Anyway...
Those are just what I think...based on my limited knowledge in Fiqh, the concerns are valid.
Tak caya, pergilah tanya ustaz/ ustazah...or the least, try tgk Ustaz Zahirudin punyer site.

5.
Semua orang claim Muslim/ Muslimah sambut Ramadhan & Eidul Fitri.....but for once in our life, try to be a REAL MUSLIM/MUSLIMAH....I am doing a small part as a Muslim here...nak tegur sorang2 tak laa mampu, tulis jer dalam blog....nak accept, Alhamdulillah, tak nak accept, antara kamu dgn Allah lah nanti....

Weekday Routine?

2010-07-19T23:16:00.008+08:00

1.
Wake up. Smile.
Get the twins to bathe & be in their school uniforms.
Solat Subuh with Wifey.
Wifey prepares breakfast & packed lunch for the kids.
Send the kids to school.

2.
Back from sending kids.
Check/ respond to e-mails & Facebook messages.
Check schedules, pack stuff according to schedule of the day.
Send Neena to kindergarten.
Send wife to office.
Attend schedules of the day.

3.
Mid day break - grocery shopping etc.
Dzhur.
Fetch the twins, chat with the twins.
Do laundry, clean the rooms & living area.
Editing works or whatever needs to be done while the kids do their homework.
As'r.
Prepare dinner.
Get the twins to prepare their bags for the next day.
Fetch wife, chat with wife.
Fetch Neena, chat with Neena.

4.
Maghrib with wife.
Dinner.
Family time - chat, play games, draw, watch TV, call family in Sarawak/ Johor etc.
Isya' with wife.

Bed time for kids.
Reading/ chat time with wife.

5.
Prepare for the next day's schedule - equipment check if needs be...etc etc.
Blog, write, sketch, research.

6.
Smile.
Sleep.
Wake up for extra Solat.
Smile.
Sleep.

7.
Repeat.

....so, you think you are busy?
I am....but I still can afford to find time to spare, if I want to. :o)

Vader meets a friend

2010-07-16T23:32:00.000+08:00

.....geramnyyaaaaaa!!
~ on Symbian mobile device

Hidup semula buat ke X kali

2010-07-12T17:09:00.001+08:00

.....this almost stolen, then stolen, lost & found pile of steel comes with long history & story. It is not my first Audi...but it is my wheels, not an attention grabber but a reliable buddy, for more than a decade already.
I don't mind not having my first Audi, yet...not until the cash is ready...

For now the priority is not for fancy wheels....it never has, and never will!

~ on Symbian mobile device

Breakfast date

2010-07-10T13:23:00.001+08:00

.....yummy!
~ on Symbian mobile device

1972.07.09 - 2010.07.09 - xxxx.xx.xx

2010-07-09T11:55:00.005+08:00

For the past many years I have been writing this blog, I seldom write much about the person whom I have loved with all my heart, all my life. Most of my entries is about our children (and my grumblings, complaining, et cetera, et cetera et cetera...)

...but deep in my heart, that special person has always been my source of inspiration, my energy provider, my soul. I can never find the words that would be able to describe how I feel for her...but with what ever words I can use, I can never be convinced by my own self that I have I have told her enough about my feelings for her.

Whatever it is, she's the only one that I could ever love with all my heart and soul, for eternity.

She has done a lot for me. For our children.

I could never imagine living my life without her by my side.

Sayang, the only gift I would ever ask for all my birthdays, is to always be with you and our children.

Siti Hajar

Alisya Irdina

Naufal Irsyad

Aliya Irdina

....

H-ajar

A-lisya

N-aufal

A-liya

HANA....in Japanese, it means flower ✿

For as long as I am still able to say it, I would always say it....

Abang sayang Hajar.

Ayah sayang Alisya.

Ayah sayang Naufal.

Ayah sayang Aliya.

Forever.

Subway

2010-07-04T21:37:00.000+08:00

....for dinner, once in a while. Yummy.
~ on Symbian mobile device

Short sentences

2010-06-21T04:44:00.000+08:00

Frankly, too many things are loitering in my head this past few weeks....I am simply amazed I am still breathing and trying hard to swallow the stuffs being thrown at me......

2010-05-21 (21 May 2010) Friday. CHAPTERSimages 001953537-W.

The Republik no more. Tres Foto no more.

Trust no more.

Since then, is has been whirlpool of dizziness.

Confusion, failures albeit joyful achievements.

At the lowest part of life, learn and accept there shall be:

No support. Only criticism, blame, construction of void and distance, gaping more and more with no apparent reasons.

Failing is worse than dying a slow death.

Success means none of the above.

...but never forgive. Just forget.

It's a different day. From now.

Silent scream in a deafening serenity.

i am still around, please allow me to be.

i shall not overstay my welcome, i'll go on that day.

We have just published your story...

2010-06-20T07:33:00.005+08:00

---------------------
Demotix Website

to		kyril.my@gmail.com
date		Sun, Jun 20, 2010 at 6:58 AM
subject		You made the front page!
mailed-by		demotix.com

Well done! Your story 'Celebration of Daw Aung San Suu Kyi's 65th Birthday in
K. Lumpur' has been selected for the Front Page of Demotix. This means it
will now be seen by thousands of visitors to http://www.demotix.com

Don't keep it to yourself - share your story with your friends and the world!

Add to Facebook, Bebo, Twitter, Delicious and more by clicking this link:
http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php?pub=demotix&url=http://www.demotix.com/news/360529/celebration-daw-aung-san-suu-kyis-65th-birthday-k-lumpur

The Demotix Team

Winner of the Guardian Media Innovation Awards 2009 - http://eepurl.com/JSL
--------------

ALHAMDULILLAH.....inching my way to the set target, insyaAllah.

Siti Hajar Ahmat...

2010-06-18T02:07:00.000+08:00

...I love you so much, so much so and I am at the edge of being insane...
~ on Symbian mobile device

Fag...

2010-06-18T01:57:00.001+08:00

...greeted a long lost friend, to continue the rest of my life.

~ on Symbian mobile device

A Day For Fathers

2010-06-17T02:38:00.004+08:00

1.
I don't quite understand why there's a day for fathers and a day for mothers but I do love and respect my parents though I never really celebrated those days with them.

When my babies gave me those cards (like they have done for so many years already), it made me feel appreciated and at the same time I feel I have not done enough at all for them - my kids, my wife.

At the same instance, I feel empty, deserted but I am not sure why.

Well, the best I can do is to continue the journey and do my best....without neglecting the extra prayers and doa...

2.
Show me the path, Allah.

Early risers

2010-06-12T09:43:00.000+08:00

...me and my boy, Naufal. As always.
Naufal wanna ride a big bike when he grow up....
Me too....bila la agaknya aku dpt beli sebijon....
~ on Symbian mobile device

Self-portraiture: Alisya Irdina Khairil

2010-05-31T15:41:00.007+08:00

Alisya Irdina did this on her own, using her Fujifilm Point & Shoot.

Really good for a kid - to be able to figure this out!

Perfect exposure, nice framing, SHARP!

Some people out there would take ages to fiddle around the setting of their DSLR, contemplating what lens to use, how to bounce the flash (erkk, really need flash ka? CLS? STUDIO LIGHTING SET?!!)

In the end, the moment is gone....not the case for Alisya Irdina Khairil! :o) ALHAMDULILLAH!

Tea & strawberry

2010-05-29T11:20:00.000+08:00

...exploration day for the kids!
~ on Symbian mobile device

C is for....

2010-05-28T14:33:00.000+08:00

...Cameron Highlands.
That's where Neena & family are heading right now.
~ on Symbian mobile device

Dusty Heat

2010-05-25T10:35:00.002+08:00

...one of the pieces of my very recent work:
"Dusty heat - charcoal makers of Port Weld"
Finally walking my own path to the destination I set.

Fueled with determination and pure passion...but no matter how well I am going to make it through, my feet will ALWAYS be touching the ground.
So, Please Help me Allah...for I have suffered enough.

Work?

2010-05-22T12:58:00.004+08:00

Imagemaker at work, Port Weld, Perak, Malaysia.

~ Khairil F. Jamian, CHAPTERSimages, Malaysia

on Symbian mobile device

18 Holes? No thanx....I have a family.

2010-05-16T18:02:00.007+08:00

1.
Supposedly, I had to meet my buddy and do some shots of the business booth I co-sponsored for an event in Putrajaya. Lesson learned on that Saturday was, Park & Ride buses are cool...but the tram system that was supposed to support the carnival- suck big time!
Anyway, the kids enjoyed the bus ride. Maybe one day when they are ready we'll do a bus-trip journey. That would be fun, I guess...but that will have to come after their first camping trip which is something the twin have always been asking since they were 5 years old.

2.
The crowd in Putrajaya was just too much to handle - with the heat and humidity on the top of the chart - the kids were dehydrated and we decided to call it off, and take a break at a nearby On The Run....then back to our rumahpangsa...just in time to enjoy Nim's Island! It was one of their favorite movies when they were younger...and they still enjoy it yesterday....after Nim's Island, everything seems dark and cozy....last thing I heard was - "Byee Ayah kita nak pergi pool"...

Zzzzz.....

3.
Ever since I am on this medication-diet (or whatever you wanna call it), I have not been taking rice for almost a month and a bowl of soup is enough to make me full and I guess that's why I could not really recall what we had for dinner!!! Anyway, the kids were surprisingly still energetic after a long day...so, I had to do something...bedtime story the extended version....and they slept well.

4.
The next thing I knew, wifey asked me to switch off the TV!! My notebooks were all around me, I guess I must have been trying to sketch the framework for my documentary works to be featured somewhere by year end....or was I just trying to sleep on the couch? Entahlah!!

5.
We had a late start on Sunday which is ok, since our everyday starts at 5:45am, so 6:30am is still ok compared to those who stars they weekend at 1pm!!!! :o)
The whole bunch decided to lepak by the pool - kids wanna play with their scoots. After a light breakfast we head on to the library (rather a reading room for me!) and spend the day in there until we had lunch at the clubhouse cafe.

6.
It was a nice way to spend the weekend. Since the kids can now read storybook and all (including Neena) we are trying to make them accustom to be in a library environment. Everybody bring their own writing equipments and notebooks....and they enjoy sitting together drawing, sketching, writing, reading....and I finally managed to properly do the framework and initial contacts for the documentary projects.

7.
Maybe I would not be able to to all this if I am...say....a golf addict....I think....?
I cannot ask my kids to sit and read, write, sketch if I am not doing the same thing.....but then again golfers (or desperate wannabe) may just bring their kids to the course and play all 18-holes with the family!!!
Well...I am not fortunate enough like them...but I am very fortunate to be me and to be with my family because, that is the best way of life I can ever think of....most of all, sincerely living it, not living it because I desperately want to be acknowledged by the society!
That is why I never peduli if people ask me why I don't play golf...as if it is a sin!

Here's my actual answer that I never have the heart to tell any golfer:
There's more to life than just wasting a bundle of hundred RM and a weekend with 18 overly used holes.....aye?

Hmm...while I am at it, just to answer other "groupies" killer questions too:

+ There is more to life than going on a joy-ride with that expensive two-wheeled machine underneath your balls...while riding, the positives of your amal get depleted per kilometer of ride because of the rasa juah & riak menunjuk2....aye?
Ohh spare me the argument, please! Setitik halus pun sure mesti ada rasa bangga memiliki dan menunjuk2 mototbusat kat public...kan?

+ There is more to life than going around all weekend shooting almost naked model yg dah mmg dia tu bini orang or anak orang...sesetengah awak tu dah ada cucu pun masih bodoh nak mampus lagi pasal light & basic exposure...nak kena ada model tertonggeng2 baru boleh belajar?? Dah abis belajar pasal hukum agama yg paling basic....dah?

8.
Nope, aku tak perli sesiapa in person. Just reminding everybody in general and I am just telling myself yet again how fortunate I am to sincerely live a life with this beautiful family of mine!

9.
Marah? Well...I never invited you to read my ramblings in the first place.... :o)

Neena, Nini & Sparkle

2010-05-13T19:07:00.004+08:00

Nini is Neena's pet angora rabbit which she herself chose for her fourth birthday.

Since I had no option (Neena = BOSS!) I decided to buy 2 rabbits at that point of time so, Alisya & Naufal picked a smaller angora rabbit which they named Sparkle....and I have mentioned in an earlier entry that I don't really fancy keeping pets because I want living souls to be free to roam the earth..and I prefer to call them Pot-pot & Nyot-nyot....(don't ask me why, suka hati aku la aku yg beli maa?!).

Pot-pot & Nyot-nyot has grown...quite big, I had to cut my lunch money and bought them a bigger cage for them (again, sebab aku kesian and consider them as human - mesti mau space to run and have fun also leh?) Compare them when we first got them here : SINI

Anyway, Neena's been taking care of her rabbits well....at least for this week she has always insisted that she would be the one to feed them in the morning, spend some time "talking" to them...

then off to school....

At 4 years of age, there is the sense being responsible in her already...Alhamdulillah. Sense of loving creatures & people - definitely there....of course, she's my baby!!

Post Entry: When we arrived home today at about 8pm, Nini & Sparkle were happy hopping around the balcony....apparently Neena must have opened the cage doors without me noticing before she went to school!! Happy sakan laa dua ekor arnab tu merdeka sehari suntuk!!

Kids

2010-05-11T00:42:00.004+08:00

Alisya Irdina & Naufal Irsyad with their buddies @ 6:40am on Monday, the first day of their first exam week.

Performance driven? Highly competitive? I can't seem to see it here. At this age, they just want to be kids, play with their friends, make more friends and enjoy their life.....

...but what happened to us adults?

Well...at least, let your kids enjoy the childhood.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAMA!

2010-05-09T13:16:00.006+08:00

.....and HAPPY MOTHERS DAY to you, Tok Mak & Nek Hon too.
WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!

Eyes

2010-05-07T02:40:00.003+08:00

1.
Such adorable eyes. Always talking about what she sees, her new experience of the day. Always love sketching and drawing about it. Always asking about what she wonders. Always adorable. Always my baby girl, I just want to treasure each moment with her.

2.
For the past weeks, I have been quite active in the community forum of our urhmm...."rumah pangsa". Yesterday, I was informed by a pakguard, one of their colleague was immediately terminated, as ordered by the maintenance office. Reason being. he was doing the doo-doo at the public washroom and the maintenance office manager was there too and questioned why was he there at 9am whereby his duty started at 7am.
How sad.
Good thing is, the supervisor just "berlakon" with the arrogant manager...the pakguard will be moved to other building, no more to be on duty at our condo...erkk...uurhmmm rumah pangsa.

3.
Rules. Regulations. Discipline. Policy.
On top of all those - humanity. Something that many put aside for the sake of being professional.
I am not saying we should be kind to all no matter what and sacrifice the professionalism we are supposed to uphold. No. Just try to understand the predicament of the other party before we decide on something. The four items mentioned on the first line of this part are made by humans. It is being enforced on humans. It is no greater than just a set of order to be obeyed....which may have been made to the benefit of some group of humans....to a certain extent, maybe an unfair advantage.

4.
Anyway, I am just glad the old pakguard still get to keep his job - he has kids to feed, still - otherwise, I fear that all the guards will have to wear diapers while on duty.

5.
How could we treat the guards (and the tea-ladies, janitors, tukang kebun, Banglas, Indons, Gurkhas etc) as if they are third-class-citizens at our disposal? Why is it so difficult for us to smile and say "Apa khabar" to them? Why?
Anyway we are not in the same "wavelength" as them...by-george, some of us went to Harvard, Oxford, Cardiff etc....definitely we do not have many similar topic to talk with a tea-lady makcik in our office... Oh...we are just too busy with our schedules perhaps?

6.
Maybe the only time we would not be busy is when we are already six-feet under. It would be already too late to smile to those people.....but rest assured, the tukang kebun/jaga kubur will be there to help clear the unwanted grasses on our graves and maybe sadaqah some surah for us while clearing our graves...and the pakguards will be there to not allow stray dogs to pee on our tombstones too....we might not know their names, but they would...because our names are already written on our tombstones.

7.
....but hey...would the logo of the company we worked in, our title & positions be on that tombstones too?

8.
So...what's the name of the tea-lady on your floor again?

Dear Alisya & Naufal.....

2010-04-28T03:53:00.003+08:00

Dear Alisya & Naufal,
This year marks the seventh year, since the magical moment. How fast time flies. If I can go back to the past I would want to freeze that moment when I first held you in my arms, Alisya, Naufal. The promise I made to you is always in my mind. Watching you grow, is a blessing. Being there with you, is never enough for me...though I know one day soon I will have to back off and let you both to walk the earth on your own...but as long as you both permit, I would always want to hug you as you sleep...until my time comes. True, the years are not always filled with colorful moments but that's what it is all about. Colors add the story to your life, monochromes add the strength to your soul...in the end, you will realize, all that matters is the energy and drive to move forward and recall the colors (and monochromes) as your source of reference and fuel to continue the journey, to be where you want to be. Since your birth, I have failed - once, at least - that moment when I had no better option but to step out of that tall towers. I know how you both love the towers and how well you can recognize that oil-drop logo even when you were just barely 3 years old. I regretted to not have been able to bring you up to the higher floors that I used to work on...but please forgive me, for I have not failed due to my in-capabilities but rather due to my stupidity to put my strong believe and trust in some of my friends that you both came to call uncles & aunties at one time before the present. I have learned that at the end of the day, as humans, all that matters are their own survival...and that, you should always be aware of...friends care not about you if they are at the junction of opportunity and once they think they are beyond your league, they would not feel guilty at all to what they have done in the name of their position and power. Be aware....and never be one of them. Never ever. You are not like them, nor like their daughters and sons. No matter how high you may be able to fly, in the end, on the soils of the earth is always where you will rest. Always remember your humble beginnings...and with that always in mind, then only you shall fly. I wanted to fly high, almost made it but in the end I realized that I am going nowhere, those friends assisted the systems, focused on making many to fail. I came tumbling down to earth and for once, I never felt so humiliated yet so powerful...my focus was just to pick the remnants and move on for my next effort...much to the disbelief of many, peers & enemies...but the best is yet to come, as long as we have each other, we will always make it through anything, anything at all....I apologize to both of you if I could not give a proper celebration like we used to have...but we'll do something together with our family soon, insyaAllah...for as long as I can breathe, the promise I made to both of you as I held you in my arms on that day, remains to be fulfilled.
...please know that Ayah Sayang Alisya & Naufal.

Sketches

2010-04-24T17:23:00.004+08:00

1.
Aliya Irdina:
"Ayah, Aliya ada something for you. A present"
Aliya's pet KingKong:
"Uihh? Ada present? Waaah!! Bestnyerrr!!"
Aliya Irdina:"Nah...ini Aliya & Ayah. Yang ini muka Ayah sahaja..."
Aliya's pet KingKong:"Waahh pandainyaaa...." (realized that she used the big sis's scissors - something I warned her not to do the night before...heheh, smart kid!)

2.
This little lady is really "The Little BigBoss" in the house. She knows what she wants and to let her not have it, will take an effort to achieve. She can babble all day long and never gets tired. The only time she'd stop is probably when she decided to sit down and write/draw/read something. Sometimes she'd bring her small bag, with her pen, pencils, a book & a notepad. If she does not have the mood to "participate" in any activities we are doing, she'll take out those stuff and do something!! (Macam aku la tu!)

3.
I keep all the sketches and arts - done or given to me by my kids - in my personal journal (not a moleskine, cannot afford those lah, not yet kut!). Some are not really given to me but rather then let it be wasted, I just took if from the bin and keep it! There's a ring binder at The Republik for all the works they did at the studio too. At this point of time, I can say that my passion to analyse, write/ sketch about what I see and experience, is there in Aliya (Neena). Who knows, one day she'd be a good writer & photographer. (Tak payah kerja jadi balachi company orang macam Ayah masa muda dulu lah ok Neena?)

4.
Rare and priceless treasures, those.
If I don't allow time to appreciate and collect/ document/ write my feelings about it in that journal I mentioned, it will be such a waste.

5.
I had all the luxury of time this Saturday morning. Alisya & Naufal have a "replacement class" so the day starts like a normal week. After sending them I decided to do breakfast and just lepak at the usual kedai we love to go for breakfast.
A tabligh person approached me after I finished my dishes...and sold me alcohol-free perfume (minyak atar lah!). Been a long time since I last bought a perfume Well, Ia m not a perfume guy anyway, since I got married, whatever my dear wifey gave me as present would be the only perfume I have, until the next purchase or gift from her!
The tabligh person then asked me if I can buy him some foods. Of course. An opportunity to do sadaqah and a chat. From our introduction talk, I get to know that he is a Bangladeshi by the name of Muhammad Sattar, probably in his mid 40's.
The first thing that Sattar did when his food arrived was to recite doa, not just the usual doa makan but quite a lengthy one, specifically asking Allah's blessings - for me! (Alhamdulillah).
We had discussion on some stuff - related to Islam of course - some points I do agree but some, well let's just say what I have learned since I was a child - dari sekoah agama Johor, sampai la mengaji pondok sikit masa remaja, sampai la abis grad UIA & also what my arwah Bah Tua termed as "mengaji kutip" i.e. spending time listening to ceramah and the likes at many surau/masjid - has different approach to it.
One very prominent one was when Sattar asked about my kids and then somehow or rather he made a statement that kids will just waste our wealth but wives would not thus why he has wives. (oookkkk....I see...)
Hmmmm...that is too general, a statement but well, I wish not to argue about it, after all this poor guy is enjoying his first meal of the day, let him enjoy it lah!
Sattar asked me if I know about their "markas" in Sri Petaling.
Yeah, many do know about that.
He invited me to come there tonight because there's going to be a muzakarah, with brothers from all around the region.
InsyaAllah, was my answer but I know I would not be there since I have planned something for my kids for the whole weekend. Sattar then sincerely admits that he needs a new jubah since the only one he has on him is really "uzur" and it is timely to get a new one for the muzakarah.

Well, sometimes people will say - entah ya ke tidak - but for my my approach is always like this: if I can make do without that certain amount of money for the benefit of others that need it more than I do, it is their rezeki that Allah provided and I am just a medium. InsyaAllah. If it is otherwise, well, that is between that person and Allah.
We continued talking and when he knew I am a businessman, he started another doa...telling me InsyaAllah with a pure and sincere heart, a business can go far and what we contribute back to the needy shall be rewarded by Allah many folds. InsyaAllah.
I had to leave Sattar since I am have tapau nasi lemak for my wifey & Aliya.
Pleasant conversation on a Saturday morning.

6.
What have I learn?
Well, I always feel honored and blessed when a person recites a sincere doa. Not everybody is blessed to have others doing doa for him/her everyday....true?
So, once in a while, when a stranger does that for you...and you have been through thick and thin just a couple of moons ago, don't you think that Allah is trying to convey a message to you?

7.
So, it is good to allow time to appreciate and understand others - even strangers - around us. At least, for 30 minutes on a weekend, just try to slow down a bit from our hectic lifestyle...because if we never try, we might never learn something new and just continue living the way we have been "tuned" to.
In the end what you should really sit and think about is this: Do you really think you will have that time to appreciate what is around you, go lepak masjid, do hajj etc etc..only after you retire?

8.
To each, his own....c'est la vie.

A friend with a sincere heart....

2010-04-23T04:01:00.004+08:00

Last Friday, I had a good chat with a good friend.
He was eager to help me in some business platform...although he was supposed to collect his Blackberry during that appointment time but since he was not sure if he can get it in time and he knew I have another appointment immediately after meeting him, he left the Maxis Center and met me instead. (Salute - this is a virtue of a true professional business person!)

The very first sentence he uttered, I already had the answer - unfortunately, for him, I have started on the same platform couple of months earlier.

Being a passionate person in things that he believes, he wasn't disappointed at all. Instead the first word that came from him after I told him I have done it earlier, was ALHAMDULILLAH. (Salute - this is a virtue of a true Hamba Allah!)

It struck me there and then that he was really sincere in his intention of trying to help me out (since I don't earn that automatic-fat-balance-in-my-account at the end of the month like I used to lah), unlike many others that have approached me, the first intent of those others was simply to get a person as their down-line or whatchamacallit...yeah, ugly intent but c'est la vie for many out there.

The good friend then told me he was restless since the day before (when he met me as he was registering for that BB from Maxis) and he told me he mentioned to his dear wife about me doing my partnership business, totally out of the system we used to be in with very very little capital compared to what he has from his retirement scheme.

"I don't know what I am going to do with all that money Torque....but aku dah niat akan bagi modal untuk bantu kau kalau perlu, but Alhamdulillah, lega hati aku bila dengar kau dah start lagi awal dari aku...Alhamdulillah!" (...and we shook hands for the third or maybe the fourth time that morning!)

For more than an hour, had a good chat about stuff....and bid farewell with a promise that we'll keep in-touch about another few business models that I have worked on and to get him connected to the contacts that I have in mind...

....but fulfilling that promise shall never be possible, because Allah loves him more...
...and his soul is now resting in peace.

My only regret was I could not visited him in the ICU because considering the condition he was in, it was best to not allow visitors. A chat with Kakak Rassa- one of his beloved daughters - I was told that Allahyarham did mention to his beloved wife about meeting me on that Friday...Subhanallah...how purely sincere he was about helping me out....Subhanallah.

Things happened so quick, a good chat not even a week ago and now, he will only be in our memories....

....the least I could do was to help carry him to his last resting place (such a co-incident, the location gives a good view of PETRONAS Twin Towers - Tower 1 KLCC) and to contribute my energy on the cangkul and tanah to cover his grave...that was the least I could do....and of course to do doa for him....

M Idris Tahir, was a good friend to many, a good mentor to many....and he lives, always, in the memories of those many, whose hearts he has touched.

Al-Fatihah.

We'll miss you MIT.

Lights, the way I see it

2010-04-14T02:08:00.004+08:00

1.
Shots done on Canon G11, about 2miles from my kampung house couple of weeks ago. Stopped by the roadside on our way back to KL just to get these three frames. Worth it.
For me at least.

2.
I am a bit restless since then. Thinking and worrying about where I am. Alhamdulillah things are ok but I need to progress on my personal achievement because that is what that gives more milestone to many as it seems. Nobody seems to offer a hand or share the path, until very very recently, Alhamdulillah....Alhamdulillah.

3.
They trust me (yet again, Alhamdulillah)...and yet again, I better not disappoint them.

4.
Words are cheap, just like arrogant people with their achievements and sickening attitudes.

5.
Quickly re-established some long-lost contacts tonight. I am taking this more serious then it has ever been. I've seen the light. Time to run and fly.

Alisya Irdina Khairil

2010-04-12T02:37:00.007+08:00

Alisya is turning 7 years old soon. She's growing...and soon enough it will be time for me to let her live her own life....that will mark the time for me to start that journey I have always wanted to do, discovering the world, insyaAllah. Wherever I may be, everyday my heart beats just for Alisya, Naufal, Aliya & Hajar.

Baby Zahra

2010-04-11T16:51:00.001+08:00

.....the youngest "cucu" in the family, for now lah.

~ on Symbian mobile device

Jamming - Otai way

2010-04-11T12:08:00.000+08:00

....hahaaa....try this for originality!
~ on Symbian mobile device

[R|A|T|M]

2010-04-10T14:22:00.000+08:00

...the real deal! :o)

Access To Life

2010-04-09T01:43:00.002+08:00

...spent half of the night viewing the works of Alex Majoli, Jonas Bendiksen & Paolo Pellegrin of MagnumPhotos - AccessToLife.

These Magnum Photos photographers are amongst the many those whose works really inspire me...

They bring the story to the world and in some ways managed to give back to the subjects involved.

Salute.

...and in the morning after the more critical office deals are done, I'll be composing on the streets with my old D70s for the first time in many moons.

Inspired. By the best in the world.

...but now, time for a good rest...

The Privileged Many

2010-04-04T13:15:00.010+08:00

I am sure everybody knows well the definition of "privilege". Yes? OK.
Now, in certain matters, we tend to forget that we are actually being among the ones that could be categorized as privileged.
How come?
Well simply because we are just too blind at heart. We became too accustomed to what we already are bestowed with that we totally take it as "the ordinary package" that should come as it is, without us owing anything to Allah.
Too general a statement? OK. Let's go down to the details....

2.
Since Malaysian GP F1 week has just ended, let us use it as our prime example of my statement above.

We have the hill-stands - covered & uncovered - and the grandstands for the spectators to watch the race. By default, Malaysian would just wait or ask for free tickets first before purchasing it at the last minute (if they are really hardcore fans of F1 lah!)

Maka berduyun-duyun lah rakyat jelata ke gelanggang pertarungan. Yang bulat datang bergolek, yang pipih datang melayang, yang buta datang berpimpin, yang capek datang bertongkat, yang kudung datang mengesot, yang jauh berpanggilan, yang dekat berimbauan.....

To cut is short, the hill stands are filled with spectators and the grandstand.....well not so!!

3.
The matter of fact is, on the KL Straight the grandstands are normally purchased by companies i.e. the tickets are free for some staff or customers or who ever Akamazamabamaboo they want to give it to.
The hill stands, are normally being purchased by those who just love to watch expensive rigs being driven around and around and around in circles by lucky blokes who get paid very well...and maybe the pitgurls who are mainly filled with zero knowledge about the F1 matters (but also get paid very well for standing in the hot sun and walking in high heels for about a kilometer or so!)
...but of course, some of the people on the hill stands came with free tickets lah...this is Malaysia maa you cannot discount the subsidy mentality of the 1MalaysiaBoleh people leehh!

For the sake of the topic, let us just focus on those who were given the grandstand tickets.

...and please, if you think I am bashing these people or the company that sponsored them, you must be having the same mentality like my previous retarded bosses I used to have in the company I used to work with. This is my blog and I am expressing my thoughts based on my observation, I am not bashing anybody in person but if you feet that way, then my observation is probably very good lah...and you have been hit spot on between your eyes! :o)

4.
So, the discussion here is about "The Privileged Many".
Unlike the commonly used phrase - the privileged few - I have stated earlier that we are all privileged in some areas that we tend to neglect.

Those who were given the grandstand tickets got a very massive privilege compared to those who bought tickets for the hot & humid bare ground on the hills.

....but look at this shot...

The grand stands are almost empty, couple of hours before the race starts!

Where are those privileged many???
There were more general public cum wannabe sports photographers with free access on Friday.

Is this bad? I don't know....but form years of experience, video-graphers/ photographers will shoot as tight as possible to not capture the empty spaces in between (teehehehe!!! Malaysia Boleh!!)

5.
Why do those privileged many kept it to the last minute before they land their butts on the grandstand seats? You ask them! I can only assume.....

...and my assumptions are:
(a) They have many other things to do than come early and be in under the covered area with noisy, hot & humid environment.
(b) The tickets are free, not from their wallet. So, it's not their loss. The rakyat would not mind letting go of a couple thousand RM a pax for this event. Rakyat kan mewah.
(c) Ohhh it is not rakyat's money? Duit company? Ohhh I see...so the company would not mind wasting a couple thousand RM a pax for this event...true? If it is true then it is ok laa, wasting money is perhaps part of the main KPI for some in the company, aye? :o)

6.
...but at least, they came, even though the race was just about to start.
The baddies among these privileged many here, would be the ones that would not come, do not come or simply just don't give a damn about it.
The worst of these privileged many would be those who brags about having the access saying they are already bored with it and the tickets are just lying somewhere....dah ler dpt free dgn duit company ke duit rakyat tak kira laa....siap riak & juah lagi, tak pergi lagi....kalau bagi kat orang lain pun ok laa ni ntah mana dicampaknya pulak tickets tu....

Things that come easy, are always naturally taken as not that valuable. Offer those seats to the hill stands fan, they'd be running to grab it.

7.
Now in my case, I can say I have at least one similar privilege like those on the grandstands.
I get to be in the F1 Area every year taking photographs for the F1 Medical Services Marshal.
However, the privilege does not come rolling to me...I had to work or in many years and I have to maintain and also improve the level of excellence managed to set, to at least meet the expectations of the leaders.
Similar eh?
Well...if you say so.
...but
(a) I have to be on the track weeks before the race day...and during the race week almost 12hour day...and it is all about the Army way of doing things. Very taxing but I find it pleasing because even though I am under a scorching hot sun (well, for at least couple of hours a day I get to rest & surf in the comfortable air-conditioned rooms in the center la!)
(b) I get to be in the pit and support paddock and on the MedEvac helicopters
(c) I get paid for it
(d) I am not working, just living my passion and read (c) please!)

....in certain ways, I am more privileged than those on the grandstands...Alhamdulillah.
That is why I am there with the marshals - long before others are on the seats, long after others have gone back home.

...and I always give the expected and a bit more for the team who made me the official for the past couple of years ( and insyaAllah more years to come, Alhamduillah!). That is the least I can do to show my gratitude. Am loving it. Have always love doing in. Will always love doing it as long as I am needed to be there! :o)

8.
The key point I am trying to say here is - we all have some privileges that we may have taken for granted. Simple one would be the privilege given by Allah to be on this earth. Oh yes, it is a privilege....is it not?

In some organization pulak, some got promoted while others get the gallows, in my case dulu (duluuuu laaa, dah lama dulu, 2008/2009!!) in the end I got the gallows, the others got a big nice room as their office, car grant (belum dapat confirmation dah pukul canang nak beli Honda CR-V....hahah!! OH please! Melayu sungguh! Miskin giler!!) , dah tu mesti mau enjoy dah naik "darjat" - sibuk tayang gambar bwk family pi oversea holiday, ada yg ride on reason pi oversea courses (pergi melancong free laa, dah bodoh tu bodoh la juga hantar course 10tahun pun otak still sama punye dungu!)....in short - hidup mewah dgn the privileges given due to the title by the organization, orang lain yg buat kerja mcm nak gila plak yg kena tendang.
For those who did it to me, I say - Alhamdulillah. Rezki korang laa kan, kat dunia ni dgn pedajal orang yg dulu support kau & pernah jadi sahabat kau sendiri. Alhamdulillah.

I am not saying yang aku ni bagus sangat...but how many of us here place the kalimah 'Alhamdulillah' at the tip of the tongue? Susah sangat nak sebut....lagi senang nak sebut YESSSSSSS!! Kan?

So, take a step back, and re-appreciate the privileges we may have neglected. Better still, if you have a pure heart, those that not supposed to be yours, return it back to those who deserve it.

9.
....but as far as the F1 is concerned, I am not the privileged many....
In my case, I am the privileged ONE...!! For that I have many many many times say ALHAMDULILLAH.

10.
So, you got free grandstand ticket for next season?
:o) Alhamdulilah.

Hierarchical segregation

2010-04-02T23:11:00.009+08:00

1.
There are reasons why we are what we are and others are what they are. Of course, by default everybody would want to be in the very best possible position in life. However, not all are lucky and blessed enough to get everything that they wished for.
So, when we are where we are, we should be grateful for it....and be realistic about moving up to the next level of our preferred position in life just so that we don't end up being a slave to achieve our goals and forget to get the best out of our own life - living it!!!
...but of course, every single person has different interpretation to this subject, so, what I mentioned above was just what I am tuned to do or achieve. As far as I am concerned, I am on the right track.
Finally.

2.
I just could not stop from observing, analyzing and trying to understand what people around me are doing. The key of the matter that I tend to observe on this particular day is about hierarchical segregation....for instance, due to the segregation we have ranks in the Army team & commoners in the F1 Medical Services Marshals....

...and on a bigger perspective, we have the cleaners, garbage collectors, the grid girls, the policemen, the safety guards....but all are here for just one reason - to make the event a successful one.

3.
The matter of fact is that even though there is one general goal that everybody is contributing towards achieving, how they communicate or rather intersected with one another makes that one goal become a complex menu to handle.

4.
One incident I had to endure was when I came out to shoot some of the F1 rigs on practice run, I was stopped by the budak guard (since he's a lot more younger & smaller than me) and he started pushing me to not enter the helicopter area...instead of giving him a free lesson of Taekwondo, Aikido & some silats, I asked him politely why?
...and all he could answer was his boss said nobody is allowed to be there...
Couple of minutes later, the boss came and started telling me the rules and all, I listened and obeyed because I am just too tired in life to argue with people who are supposedly just to be doing their job but turned out to be a power-crazy bastards who thinks they rule the world just because they have the title on their tag...duh!

....and the next day I asked the senior pak guard the permission to enter the helicopter pad to do group photo for the medical marshal....he was quite responsive but still...that sense of "I have the power" is just too obvious when he asked me about my presence there with no tabard - I told him FIA & SIC did not manage to provide enough for all the personnel, so I have none.

A cocky answer from him was that he was told that there are surpluses of tabard...my polite answer to him was - I am not in the position to know but if there are surpluses we sure could do with some for our officers!

5.
The next thing I knew, rupa-rupanya that big bos of security yg perasan he owns the circuit sudah kenaaa kaw-kaw dgn the Datuks & Generals of the Army team the day before, because he stubbornly (and very very stupidly) did not allow the Army Vehicles to enter the Paddock area without proper designated sticker.

Obviously the guy is a pure newbie amateur in this arena...during F1, anything attached to wheels with Z as the plate number, is never to be stopped by anybody!

Keyword mentioned above - One Goal.

If the Medical Marshall are being order to leave the track by the Generals......F1 will not continue....so, in this scenario, who's the one in power here?

The truth - NOBODY is!!! We are all supposed to be working as a team!

6.
At the end of the day, the people who made all the fuss had to just see me walk to the helicopters and do my stuff. Some even had to salute me as I pass them in a Perdana with Z plate number....and yet as I pass them I still say - terima kasih Encik to them, with a smile.

7.
Then comes the grid girls. Oh yeah, many perverts are openly displaying their "good behavior" when the girls set foot on the F1 area...but to me, they are only worth to be photographed as what I have presented here.....pretty, not really, smart, hmmm you must be kidding....knowledge about F1...well, go and ask the interviewers....in general semuanya terlebih berlagak, just because they have the brand of a green oil drop on their boobies and arsses...padahal semua tu duit siapa? Duit rakyat juga asalnya. Nak berlagak over-over buat apa?

For them to think that they should have the access to the Medical Center's exclusive areas (especially the toilets lah!) because they are the "pretty queens" for the event, was a huge mistake. The Datuks & Generals directly asked them to use the portable toilet provided by them next to their tent! Buahahaah!! The reason was too simple - they have totally misbehaved in many ways - it is a medical center and the access is on business / emergency related to medical matters...but they used it to smoke, layan lepak, took photoas at the area where I was asked to moved by the guards (pak guard takut betina ke? Teeheheh!!!) and etc etc....

As a human being I pity them but too bad...sebab berlagak sangat and the committee lady pun sangatlah eksyen, rasakan...wrong place, wrong people to mess with, beeyatch!

You think that green oil drop logo is so powerful? Think again...it is not the company of bapak kau laa!!

I am not gonna get involved in the circus, the circus continues, I am just here to do my job and it is almost completed....observing the circus around me is just part of the deal that comes free with the package I guess...heheh!

8.
At the end of the day, maybe we still need to have the hierarchical segregation to a certain extent but how we treat each other should always be based on certain acceptable level tolerance and as humans we should always be polite to each other.

9.
You'll never know, maybe the person you pushed around today might actually be the one you have to salute as he comes to your area, soon after.

If it is black, it is black

2010-04-02T09:02:00.000+08:00

...no such thing as the new black.
Those are for wannabe.
~ on Symbian mobile device

Journey to success, least travelled by some too many

2010-04-02T00:25:00.004+08:00

1.
Sometimes we may think that we have so many things to do, yet we have so little time and energy. What will make the difference would be the priority we put to specific items.

On the bigger perspective of life, how we decide to really live the one and only life we have might set us apart from many others people around us.

Success is a matter of comparison. One's success might not happen without another one's failure. How one plays the game would set him/ her persona from the rest.

2.
Why am I babbling all the above?

No particular reason. It is just that I have been observing how many treats me as a photographer. It just amazes me. Maybe it is just too difficult for them to comprehend. Maybe they just could not have the guts to think deeply enough and understand it. Maybe.

3.
Anyway, what others may comprehend do not matter at all to me. As the saying goes - There is only one way. Forward. Sure, it has always been forward, the way....really? Sampai melingkup pun tak apa asalkan forward? Heheh! :o)

So, if people say the only way is forward, I don't quite agree...but success, well that's more like it. A focus...but anyway I am not going to argue about it....

4.
Sometimes it takes more than a big heart to make that move.
Sometimes even a big heart have grudges and to the very extreme - dendam tak sudah.
Sometimes it is easier for many to generalize matters and advise some without really understanding how it feels to be in the other person's shoes.
...but to each, his own. People can say what they want, people can compare what they want...but in the end, life is not a competition - well at least not for me!

5.
So, how's your journey so far?

The Good Doc

2010-04-01T16:07:00.000+08:00

Dr Gary Hartstein, FIA Official, Medical Rescue Marshall.
"You have given us very good photographs"
~ on Symbian mobile device

School week deals 2

2010-03-29T19:22:00.008+08:00

I just enjoy the moments talking with Aliya Irdina @ Neena. She is becoming more matured than her age, keen to analyze others, not afraid to voice out her mind & opinion...at times quite stubborn with her stand and need long persuasion to make her change her decision. (...hmm....sounds familiar...)

She already made up her mind to attend the same school like Alisya & Naufal...and somehow, quite a surprise to me, she said when she grew even bigger she wants to go to the college next to the school (which will be operational anytime if I a not mistaken)..and oh yes, she always pointed out - Uncle Vig's condo is behind there!!!

It is just sheer joy to have Aliya by my side, I try to spend as much time as possible to converse with her...the opportunity is rare to be honest because she is closer to my wifey most of the time, only if the "manja" feeling towards me come to surface she'd spend more time with me. It is just natural, she's been Mama's best buddy since her early embryo days!! (You can read my entries about her from day-0 to birth)

I would be lying if I claim I a not worried about their future. Being a self-employed father of 3 growing kids, is a challenge. I admit I kinda miss the constant figure in my bank account at the end of each month. They might not be having the opportunities like the children of the organization I used to be in but I am trying my best to make it much better for them, trying and praying. The journey in there for me was a disaster, from highly enthusiastic to totally bitter, so, I left the building without anybody helping me to carry my stuff - though a number of good buddies wanted to lend a hand - for me, I came in on my own, I must go out on my own....and build my own future...and have more time together with my loved ones...sound easy and romantic but it requires a different drive and mentality and miles and miles and miles of hearts, I guess.

...but I am sure, InsyaAllah, since 10-Nov-2009, life have been better for the kids...

School week deals 1

2010-03-29T15:44:00.009+08:00

The week have been quite tiring. I guess age is really catching up on me...of course some might say I need to trim down and stay fit yadayadyadayadaa...well, go read my earlier entries....teheheh!

The fact is, handling a twin aged 7 and a girl aged 4 at one go is quite a challenge. They were much easier to handle when they were babies....the twins aged 3 and Aliya as an infant back then. Even if I had to take care of all 3 babies at once....it was much easier!
Anyway, the fun is still in abundance....

....some may say pity the kids, long hours of schooling, penat sgt laa, byk homeworklaa, no rest laa etc etc....well, hangpa ka yg jaga depa? Anak2 hangpa pernah ka pi sekolah mcm anak2 aku? Dah tu hangpa apa tau??

It is for their own good. They are already accustomed to the long hours.
I don't intend to torture them at all....as parents, we know what's good an what's not for our kids...and at the same time, we don't push them to become what we want them to become, we let them choose, we just guide....

Many say the same...but few actually does it...because some people treat their kids as trophies....always about competing in life...c'est la vie....

The school break deals....

2010-03-21T23:02:00.015+08:00

1.
...nothing much since it was just a week long break but we had fun nevertheless!!

Taekwon-do...just like Ayah & Mama diorang masa muda-muda dulu lah!

<- She's gonna break many hearts I tell you!

<-- Their buddy - Muhamad, who lives in Bangsar but schools in Setapak Chung Hwa!!
...until the day the start school, they still have fun each and every day.

2.
However, when I read the status of many in Facebook, starting work again is such a heavy burden....really pity them....but like I always say: It comes with the money - lah!!

3.
...but how come I never feel like that anymore?
:o)
=> It comes with the money and joy of actually living a passion!

4.
Have a good weekdays my friends.
I enjoy my weekends, all week long.

Race Control Room

2010-03-19T10:44:00.000+08:00

...SIC, on assignment for F1 Medical Suppprt Team.
~ on Symbian mobile device

Underwater

2010-03-15T11:17:00.000+08:00

...was ready with the kids for our first underwater shoot at the pool....unfortunately it is being cleaned and can only be ready at 4pm.
So, have to tell them we have a switch of plan....they can read their storybooks and watch TV while I work stuff out with Vader then we do water time in the evening....which means, more time in the water, compared to morning session!! Wheeeeeee!!!
~ on Symbian mobile device

Experience

2010-03-13T06:17:00.005+08:00

The recent assignment I did, gave me another fresh perspective about life. I made new friends and business contacts - indirectly - but what matters most to me is I got the opportunity to be a part of a unique history.
Quite a hectic assignment....some day I have to be on the road from 6:30am, shooting in many locations all day long and only back to the hotel room to get ready for dinner shoot....but it was a good experience....and I will write about it soon.

I realized, sometimes life is not about what we want, what we have...but it is also about what we have lost...I have a long way to go but I am sure I will be there...insyaAllah.

...thank you to YM Tuanku Raja Besar and the family from West Sumatra, and all my new friends....

Those routines that could not be replaced by any sum of wealth

2010-02-23T16:07:00.014+08:00

Sometimes, at the rate we are going (highly influenced by the world's common race for something indefinite), we will be sucked in so deep into nothingness and forget to breathe and savor the moments we have in each day of our short lifetime.

I try not be in the common state, as much as I could....for instance:

1.
I treasure each time Neena (or any of my kids) would come to my small workstation at home to ask me something....

It is always a sheer joy, watching my baby sleeps...

3.
Everyday, before the first sunray reached the earth, the twins are already on their way to school, and each day, I would not miss it for the world to send them, up to the door of their classroom.

4.
Once I am back from sending the twins, Neena would already be in her uniform. Sitting with her, simply observing her enjoying her first meal of the day, is really a massive joy.

5.
Fetching Neena from her school, the sound of her footsteps running towards the car, the smile of joy on her face. The world is just simply, mine....mine.

6.
....and the chats we'd have before we doze off...
Owh, the shot below was taken on the first day of the new year for Hokkiens, therefore the twins were not supposed to be schooling....teehehe...good thing their Auntie Liza was there on holiday otherwise I would not be at The Republik on that day too! :o)

7.
It is just something that I could not possible describe nor make everybody appreciate it like I do...but it does not matter at all for me. I am enjoying it. I took the red pill. I am off the matrix. Never wanted to even consider the blue pill anymore. I guess what I am saying here is....I've been waiting for this moment all my life.....say what you want...but I am here. Already.

Out playing!

2010-02-21T16:11:00.001+08:00

....with some good ol' friends and my little compacts.
Hopefully the rain will stop soon so I can go back and get ready for some in-the-pool shots...
~ on Symbian mobile device

King Kong's babe

2010-02-19T15:08:00.004+08:00

The last time we went to this resort, Aliya was just about 8months old...

Now, she is "Boss KingKong"....and you know who is KingKong lah!

Enjoyed every moment I recorded and every moment I spent in the water with her and the other two.

Here....this was the shot that I did, back in 2006.

More in my FlickrPro

The pools are ok, but not as good as it used to be. Same with the facilities/ It seems like the owner just wanna press hard for fast cash and maybe dump it off once the goal is reached. I don't really know but the maintenance of the place is really bad, to my eyes at least.

Oh well...we had a great time nevertheless! We have to do more of this....insyaAllah!

PD

2010-02-18T17:34:00.000+08:00

Splash time...whole day. Unlimited access.....buahahahah!!
~ on Symbian mobile device

Bangi & Kajang in PD

2010-02-17T16:13:00.001+08:00

Bangi Kopi Tiam & Sate Kajang Hj Samuri in PD....you won't miss it la, nampak dr jalan raya.
Verdict, fail. BKT serving of kuey teow sup is like half of what I wud get at the 2 branches I frequent. Asked for chopsticks, got toothpick!! No chopstick here apparently! I think Kid really needs to buckle up the staff & manager here....
SKHS pulak....memang totally fail. Sate keras, no taste. Memalukan Kajang lagi ada laa....so much about making it big, quality terus tarak. It used to be good back in the 80's.
Anyway, food is just part of the deal...off to the resort now....taaaaa!
~ on Symbian mobile device