Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Balls and holes and everything in-between.....

Probably most of the golfers out there would beat me up for this but I wrote this out just for the fun of it! :o)

I used to organize corporate golf tournaments/ outings whatchamacallit when I was a corporate citizen. So much to the extend that I created a procedure/ documentation on how to organize a proper tournament for one of the units I was in and I am sure it is still being used to this date. However, no matter how much involvement I had in the organizing part, I never actually fancy golf as a game/ sport. In fact I prefer to either shoot (photograph, that is) the golfers and/ or observe their antics during the tournament/ outing.

I would confidently say, that for many who has organized a golf event/ tournament, it is an "interesting" experience in so many angles. Hectic, yes. Fun, yes...
...well maybe not if things went helter-skelter throughout the whole event and you get "the look" from those in the list...and a first slot in the boss's appointment list the next working day...but, well, c'est la vie! (Read: It comes with your salary and perks!) :o)

Golfers are generally friendly bunch of happy-go-lucky-people, well, at least some of them, naturally. If you get this bunch, you're gonna have a good day at the clubhouse. Otherwise, you might get those who woke up on the wrong side of the bed and rushed to the greens just in time to register before the VVIPs came and would just easily put the blame on everybody around him...except maybe for those Indonesian girls caddies...tsk! tsk! tsk!
Now this group of people may make the day difficult for you...but normally they're gonna turn cool if they get one big box of prize after a good lunch and laughter later that afternoon.

Of course, there will always be those "born to be permanent pricks" present in any event...they insist to be treated as kings (small k, if you don't mind). Wrong color chosen for the gift bags, they'll nag and make a fuss. Wrong size of t'shirt...you're gonna get the best kind of humiliation you'd ever get in your lifetime right there at the registration table...accidentally present within his/her eye-view before tee-off, you'll be yelled at...if you're photographing the event, you're the most convenient subject to blame for bad tee-off, of course....:o)

...and some of the interesting phrases on the greens:
"Kemra kau tu keluar bunyi tak?" (urhmmm...the distance you're yelling at, Sir, I can use a silencer to make it totally quiet but I need a Glock to shoot you with it)

"Heyy kau ada ke amik gmbar aku dgn caddie tadi...delete delete...mampus kalau bini aku nampak..." (urk....no Sir, I follow the contract - shoot what I am being paid to shoot, any on-the-greens-soft-porn is forbidden as far as my work ethics is concerned, Sir...)

"Aku nak gamba tee-off tapi aku nak berlakon je, boleh?" (Of course Tuan, but keep the ball out of sight first, it's gonna look funny if you perfectly do a "cangkul" but the ball is still there..."

"Ehh aku nak gambar dgn adik caddie ni sekali boleh tak?" (Up to you Sir...but your boss will keep all the softcopy...)

....and at the half-way hut, it is good to NOT be there when they are having a break with the Lady Caddies...usually you'll get to hear the "free flow" of "not so bersih jokes"...that may make some of you wanna laugh, vomit and fart at the same time :o)

Note: Ladies, be aware if your hubbies start to spend more time on those golf courses that provides Lady Caddies....you'll be amazed if you see how they behave....bee-hive baybehh!!! :o)

...and to be able to talk strike a small conversation, about the country, the range to that nice looking water hazard...and sometimes about business and some industries that I was deeply involved with, would make some of the Tan Sris, Datuks etc more comfortable before they tee-off...the higher ranks VVIPs are probably more friendly than the boss-machais, in many cases...they would just walk to you and start a conversation...for that, they really deserve the best tee-off shot you can ever compose...

Well, I don't play golf but I love shooting golf events...that's me...
I just wrote everything above because I feel like it....and this is my blog. :o)

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