Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Flash of life

*Aliya running across the living room in the morning as the family prepares for office & school.

A recent conversation with my babies:

+Me: Listen here, Alisya, Naufal, Neena, Ayah nak cakap. Nanti tak lama lagi Ayah dah tak kerja kat KLCC ok? Boleh tak?
+Alisya: Kenapa Ayah tak kerja kat KLCC lagi?
+ Me: Sebab orang kata Ayah dah tak pandai lagi, kalau tak pandai tak boleh kerja kat KLCC, orang tak nak Ayah kerja kat KLCC
+Alisya: Tapi Ayah kan pandai. Kenapa orang kata Ayah tak pandai?
+Naufal: Naufal suka KLCC. Kenapa Ayah taknak kerja kat KLCC Ayah?
+Me: Sebab orang dah tak suka lagi Ayah, Ayah nak buat camana kalau orang dah tak suka? Ayah tak bolehlah lagi kerja kat KLCC, tapi Ayah kerja sendiri, boleh?
+ Alisya: Yayyy! Alisya suka kalau Ayah kerja sendiri Ayah tak payah pergi office lama-lama.
+ Neena: Neena nak Ayah dgn Neena sahaja
+ Me: Ok tak apa lah kalau Ayah dah tak kerja KLCC lagi kan?
+Alisya: Yes, Ayah tak payah kerja KLCC lagi,
+Naufal: Ayah boleh jaga kita.
+ Me:(Alhamdulillah...) OK nanti Ayah boleh hantar Neena pergi TSCH, lepas tu hantar Alisya & Naufal pergi sekolah, Ayah work kat studio. Petang Ayah jemput semua orang balik & masak kita makan sama2, ok?
+ Kids: Yaay!

The past 14 days have been like a dreamy surreal episode in my life. Being handed the VSS option out of the sudden really took me off my feet and to consider it within just a couple of week, before I can even get a proper performance rating for the first half of the year, is nothing short of being asked to jump the boat without having a proper safety vest fastened to the body.

It is not an exaggeration if those affected would define this decision of the powers that be in one word - cruel.

...but c'est la vie. KPI, PPA of those involved have to be met.

The truth is - humans are nothing but just part of the resources needed to run the show and achieve the desired end-state.

So, for me, there is no point staying when I have no more respect to the organization & system that seems to focus more on the greediness of some at the pretext of being a global champion.

Too much already, after 13 years, it is time to end the journey.
Too many false promises, too many back-stabbing incidents, too many manipulations.
The final glory belongs to the few who seem to be excellent professionals, so to say. Bludgeoned victims are deemed as worthless weaklings, whose effort & contributions would somehow or rather end up belonging to these glorious elites...for them their survival in the journey is the key game they play on daily basis and when that time of the year come, they will do what they can to stay afloat above and beyond the rest. No matter how one would try to go against them, they will end on the victorious stage and those who tried to go against the grain, will end up with a bad reputation and horrific scar for the benefit of them to easily give the rating for the next cycle.

For the vast majority, playing save is the ultimate rule of the game. Standing the line with the glorified masters, continuing to be the creatures of modern enslavement with a bountiful reward that acts as a comforting blanket of fear and insecurity....a tunnel vision, only one way to live the life, i.e. continue to be attached to the whole system....the matrix.

I do not fancy coming to office as a whitehead in the age of 50 still being a servant...I should already be framing the beautiful colors of the world and enjoy the company of my kids & grandchildren by then.....and spend more time preparing to meet The Maker instead of still clocking long hours on some project!!

Only those with dignity & pride would not succumb to the ordeal.
I would not. I do not deserve to continue being in such filth. As for the rest: to each, his own. seems that my journey to the middle of the Peruvian jungle, center of the Moroccan Souk will start much early than I have anticipated.....heheh...but let's settle the more important priorities first...insya-Allah!

No comments: