Thursday, October 16, 2008

No noktah entry

Today I had to attend a session with a bunch of business analyst & strategist of the Sunshinefloor
At the same place, I saw The Zoogroup highflyers attending another workshop - must be a high profile one because there were lotsa Omputeh and people clad in business suits
I don't feel comfortable mingling with those above my jobgrade anymore and I would always try to politely avoid crossing their path and what more conversations because they are just way way higher above me and I am not worthy to be near them, I just do not want to feel more inferior than that - after all those years they are up there and I am still nowhere near
Some friendly ones, not from the Zoofloor recognized me & gave some smiles & nods while others were just too busy mingling around so I did not have to try to avoid crossing their path

The Zookeeper was next to me in the rest room and he did not recognized me
In the subway, a CEO who I used to help set his stage & shot his pixs for the fora walked right in front of me without recognizing me - I must have finally succeeded to turn myself invisible, and that is really great!

This is just one of those days
When I would feel like I am just a walking corpse
When I think something is hurting inside me almost to the point as if I can actually feel the pain
When I feel like just lying down and sleep it off and wish I could wake-up being that very fit & healthy 21 year old sportsman but I can't

So, normally I would just walk around and use my eyes to see things - anything at all - and appreciate it all and think of ways that I can compose it with my cameras, so others can see the photos I shot & appreciate it (or hate it) though I might not be there anymore, by doing so, I kept conscious mind occupied and the feeling will just die off, somehow

Normally, in the end, it will be ok, because I still have the first day of the rest of my life to live and maybe another tomorrow too

Why no noktah?

Because I want to continue to live for as long as possible, insyaAllah

Anyway, there will be time for that noktah to arrive and when that comes I hope some of my shots that I may have done will continue living in the eyes and hearts of many

C'est la Vie, I guess

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