Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Captured emotions

Uncle Ramu walking his territory
I kinda like the surreal feeling I managed to compose in this shot.....
but my works are still not strong enough

Although the exhibition on the 19th April had to be canceled due to UiTM's limited resource & inability to prepare the gallery, I have been too occupied with rescheduling of the exhibition and setting some activities for the year for ChAPs members. At the same time, the appraisal thingy done, we are moving into the next FY planning and I had to present something on that "away day"...which I did, despite the fact that what "the leader" did was almost totally useless, very low level...and tried to frame me by asking me to preset which I gladly took because while they are churning out shitloads of stinking flowery words, I did something else on my Mac and used it to present to the leaders of the Zoo (or whatever you wanna call them). Some stupid question from the SM Sial of my previous unit - tried to look smart and be technical on some matter - hehehe...bad move bitch! In the end, all had to give me a round of big deal...though I was the only "macai" who presented, the rest are Senior Manager!

The thing is, I have lost my "passion" to deliver my best for the Zoo and the actual organization. Letih. Not worth it when others who spit & shit you around gets rewarded while you are still rated average. Same lament as written somewhere down there in this no need to write it again!

So what am I doing about it? Hehehe simple. I keep my brain to myself. Enough of shitbrained people using my idea for their own benefit already. No free ride, as what I have done on the away day mentioned above. If they are incapable to use their brain think, they can rot to death trying but I am not going to wait! Fcuk it.....I have made it clear I am prepared to take more responsibilities - infact I have done more that "the responsible idiot" sitting in that position - what did I get? Not a chance to be offered the position but the position is being opened to others outside the stinking Zoo instead! Great! I am flabbergastered!

The recent shooting assignment was not as I wanted it to be - I freaked out and used the frigging speedlight! That's the beginning of the disaster. So lesson learnt, stay away from the speedlight until it is total darkness!!!

I went street shoot for 2 weeks ni a row...the subject is whet I have presented above - a deranged person called Uncle Ramu. In a sentence, though the shots are nice and definitely above average (heck anybody dare to approach an orang gila and document his life?) I am not really satisfied with my works, I have to bring it up to another simple words, I want viewers to "feel the emotion" in my Justin Motts's work on Agent Orange. I want tears to be shed, cries to be heard, laughter to be aired.....the emotions coming out strongly from the shot.....still a long way to go but I have made it this far....insyaAllah.

Alisya, Naufal, Aliya are growing well. Alisya plays her role as Kak Long very well indeed. Naufal is playful and close to Aliya. Their birthday is coming soon - the twins - this weekend.....what would you buy for two special kids on their 5th birthday.........

One thing for sure, nobody could buy them love, I am giving them all the love they need and more

The energy they gave me when they hug me in the morning is a huge reward for me......enough to keep me going for the first day of the rest of my life!

I love you Alisya, Naufal, Aliya & Mama!

I have been dragged back into the Rage Of The Machine era these past weeks...

Nothing beats real talent! I will spit that to the those Zoo idiots!

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