Friday, March 28, 2008

Light & darkness

~Light & darkness

The fora has ended, for FY 2007/ 2008. Next round will commence in August and in between now and that month, there will be lotsa of things to deal with, as always. I was dead tired by the end of the day but still managed to go out with the kids and do our monthly shopping for their stuff....and in this morning everything is slow....I am not in the mood to go to the office but I just have to complete some appraisal thingy today and that means I have to drag my feet to work...I took the train today since wifey will only come to office after lunch.

When I reached KL Central, I saw a disabled guy who sat near to me was trying to disembark from the commuter train. I just observed what will happen.....and true enough, nobody tried to assist him. which is good...because I want to help this dude!

(No I am not bragging, I am just sincerely telling you a story, my experience I just had not even 10 minutes ago when I actually started to write this down)

The dude was a small sized Malay, perhaps in his late 20's, clad in checkered shirt and dark slack, properly dressed I should say. He's blind and had the walking stick with him, with a sling bag on his left shoulder. From experience, I took his right hand and put it on my left shoulder, assisted him out of the train, and all the way to the other side of the station - Brickfields. from time to time informing him on the approaching steps, and stuff.

I did ask when what should I call him and his answer was just call him Wan. He works in Bukit Bintang area. When we arrived at his destination I bid him farewell and continue my way to work.....

.....but I can't. There's something heavy in my heart. Rasa sebak. I was amazed how a blind man could survive living in this concrete jungle, where not all living beings are nice to each other. It struck me yet again, with my love of seeing the wonders of Allah's creation - my kids & wife & family being the best for me - what has Wan missed of has never been able to experience is something that many of us tend to take for granted.
Being able to see that ray of light is a huge massive gift.....for Wan....but what about myself?

I took a couple of shots around the station so that I can record this learning.....and as I sat here writing this at Warongkita, I am trying hard to hold my tears....I can't imagine if I don't have the gift of seeing....would not even dare to think if my kids would turn out to be like Bro Wan....the gift of seeing is one of the many gifts Allah has given me....and many of just...and for that, I must say Alhamdulillah more often......and I must kiss my kids more.

Time to finish this rotibakar and get in the office...

Monday, March 24, 2008

Can I be...

I love to ask my kids the "Can I be" question... (especially the twins since if i ask Aliya erkk Neena I will need some deciphering to understand what she's saying...)

Some of the conversation that I had around that question....

While watching Ultraman Tiga
Me: Hmm...Alisya, nanti bila Ayah dah besar nanti, can Ayah be Ultraman Tiga?
Alisya: (Hands on he hips, muka berkerut) Ayah! No! You cannot! Ishh Apa laaa Ayah nih!
Me: Why cannot?
Alisya: Sebab Ayah hitam, Ultraman Tiga mana hitam. Tak boleh tak boleh tak boleh, faham?
Me: (Laughing) Ok ok! faham.

While watching Geng Bas Sekolah
Me: (Joining the kids dancing to the tunes of the theme)
Alisya: (Staring at me) Ayahh!!! What are you doing??
Naufal: Ayah ni tak malu laa!!
Neena: (Giggling & hugging my feet, maybe amazed with the way I danced)
Me: Eh Kakak! Abang! Nanti ayah dah besar Ayah nak jadi Geng Bas Sekolah laa..boleh tak?
Alisya: Tak boleh! Can not! Ayah tak boleh jadi Geng Bas Sekolah
Me: Why not?
Naufal: Sebab Ayah hitam!
Me: (Laughing) Ok ok...kalau mcm tu Ayah gigit Aliysa & Naufal boleh?
The kids: Tak boleh! Maamaa tgk Ayah nihh!!
Me: Ook...then Ayah gigit Neena jer lah (grabs Neena & start tickling her while she laughs and fights back)

While watching Handy Manny
Me: Nanti bila Ayah dah besar Ayah nak jadi Handy Manny la kakak...
Alisya: Cannot! Ayah cannot!
Me: Apasal plak cannot? If can't be Handy Manny then Ayah boleh jadi apa?
Alisya: Ayah boleh jadi King Kong sahaja!!
Me: (Terkedu sambil tergelak dalam hati!) Whaaat? Why King Kong??
Alisya: Sebab Ayah hitam & besar!
Wife: (Tergelak guling2)

I love my kids!! can I be a bit putih eh?

They love the new, the day after Maulid Mama took leave and we decided to stay a night with minimal lighting and we brought over the 14" TV set and DVD player to keep them entertained through the day. On Maulid day after I finished shooting we drove to the condo and after Asar, it was time to get wet...
This little lady can already float on her back....
Naufal needs no floating apparatus anymore....

....and Alisya thinks she's a mermaid Princess...
Too much pool already and now I wonder if they'd like to go for a swim in their favorite picnic spot...hmmm...should try ask them....(though I already know the answer - "let's go to our new house laaa Ayah!)

This is the 10th year for F1 to be in Malaysia. This is also the first year I am not driving the FIV for F1. No free tickets for me too. Not a problem, I enjoyed watching it on TV with the kids. Their favorite driver only managed to get 8th. It is ok considering the "bad package" Team Renault has this is gonna be fun & interesting. Just wait and see, maybe if "the team tha should always win" is not making the points there will always be excuses to change some rules or some other team may have to be stripped off their points or use of technology...that's been the storyline for the past couple of years anyway!

One more round of the forum to lead...and then I plan to take 2 days off (long weekend) so that I can spend more time in the pool with my kids and forget about the happenings in the Zoo. Mornings & afternoons in the pool with the kids, no other activity...nothing! Really looking forward to this break!

Wednesday, March 19, 2008


Today I got a shocking news which made me really really feel like leaving the organization. I could just leave if I belong to a silverspoon breed. Unfortunately, I don't. Unfortunately, I have no option but to accept it as fate (yet again). Unfortunately, the richer will always gets richer and they don't mind how they go about doing it as long as they get more. Unfortunately, the top leaders are just too blind and belongs to the same type. Unfortunately enough already.

The news...was that somebody has impressed the top leader with a paper that she had done for a high profile yearly event, attended by the top leaders of the organization. The was MINE. The idea, the paperwork, all done in a team and all that person did was took everything and talked to the top leaders off line as if it was hers...and wallaaaa.

Sial. The only word fit for this kind of person.
Haram. The only word that I would allow for everything that this kind of person gets.

Ironically, I have a very strong support in an appraisal system, from a superior/ senior staff who was involved to coach us in the preparation of the event...everything was mine. Truly mine...but the leaders are just too blind...maybe because they have consumed more haram income than others, their hearts have turned black and solid.

Well, there will always be winners, if not there wont be losers. In this case, I am a loser....but at least I don't feed my family duit haram....never.

Go ahead, win all you want, from the top leader and each and everyone involved in this unfair treatment, and their family members, I will never forgive them...not even up there in the Hereafter.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Not worth a sen

I am no Muslim but I trust Islam!
~ A Hindu boy waiting for his relatives campaigning for PAS during the Malaysian General Election 2008, at Sg Sekamat, Kajang
Get the message anyone?
~A car sporting flags of BN & UMNO drove past a banner of the opposition party during the Malaysian General Election 2008.
Tuan Guru Nik Aziz
~ Small section of the crowd during a ceramah by Tuan Guru Nik Aziz at Precint 9 Putrajaya on the last week of campaigning for the Malaysian General Election 2008.
I see blue, I see green....
We are not blind
The General Election is done and I must admit I am happy with the result - BN losing out 2/3 majority. I would not comment much since I really hate politics and I have been a victim to politicians at the lowest levels ever since I was in primary school. All I can say is I don't have any respect for those involved and although I was just not even 12 years old, it dented my heart and I took it seriously and use it as a burning platform for me to be better than those involved (Alhamdulillah so far so good, they are nowhere in sight compared to what I have achieved so far) and made it a point not to be involved with such low esteem bunch & their activities. I am not sure if I had wrote in detail about that single incident which made me anti-politicians but that is not important anymore. What was done was done. No way I will ever gonna forgive them, never.....and it is always good to have something new for a change.

DAP- Jenice Power!
~ A backdrop banner of Jenice Lee - DAP Teratai during her campaign for Malaysian General Election 2008

Lim Kit Siang of DAP
~ Lim Kit Siang of DAP addressing the crowd, campaigning for Jenice Lee during Malaysian General Election 2008

The F1 season started with a good show by Alonso. Kubica could have done better, Rosberg did well - at last! - and Kovalainen deserve to be where he is now! Hamilton? Well, I realized I really have problem with rich brats - whether they are mild mannered or otherwise - there is something in them that is so common - the attitude of being a rich brat. I cannot explain it but it is just so typical. You know, the type that may have never had to starve because there not enough rice to go around the table (bring the scenario back to home ground)....or have never felt how it is to just see others getting what you have always wished for no matter how hard you try & succeed in your exams you parents will never give it to you because they just cannot afford to although they love you so much and wish they can give all you wished for. That kind of attitude that's missing in a rich brat. Disrespect to the unfortunate. The "I must have it all" kind of attitude. I just hate it. I'd vote for the rebellious punks, the likes of Juan Pablo, Fernando, Jarno rather than these rich idiots. Anyway, it is just the beginning, we'll have to wait till mid-season at least - there should be something not right about the leading team that Fartrari would be able to find and bring the team down to ashes and beyond. Farking sore losers!

...but t is just good McLaren-Merce showed them who's the boss in this opening race....

With 1 more session of the forum to go and the confirmed movement of almost ALL of the team, I am looking forward to a new assignment comes the new FY...well maybe not. The truth is, it is just good to be a zombie and let others do what they want to. I am tired of trying to satisfy others and doing all that are required in order to be treated equally - or so to say. I am tired of listening to complaints, arguments, bickering,, I would just stay stoned and do what is expected of me and continue with my life....that's cool enough for me! Workable enough too...

It is just annoying to realize that I am becoming the last from the selected few in in the highprofile project that is left without a workstation with high walls. Kira kasta rendah la. While others have got it much earlier or just got it recently, I am yet to be considered qualified to be nominated though I have done bulks and loads of shits much demanding that what some others have done (read: impress the farking top leader and get others to do the job and take all the credits possible). Oh well.....everything is ok unless some idiots starts poking me around with ridiculous issues and deny me of my long as I am left to do my stuff, everything should be ok, I don't care what is it they want to achieve, kat akhirat nanti sendiri mau ingat lah.

The distance is already felt by me since I am the only one left from the original team not entitled to higher status like others....but am not allowing it to not make me a lesser person. It is ok because I am comfortable being what I am and I don't mind at all to do lunch on my own or just kill the time with my DSLR because of the position I am in would not be acceptable to listen to certain topic of discussion they have over lunch. Infact it is ok if others are above me and I will retire in this position, I don't mind at all, if it is written as fate then it shall be done. Well, personally I am not interested to debate and talk about work or projects over lunch - at least not everyday - because my life is more than just about the blardy Zoo.

Time for where's my DSLR....