Thursday, January 31, 2008

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Thinking caps

The day was rather hectic for many things to think about and deal with, so little time...and I definitely want to spent the time more with my kids if possible!
In the morning we had to rush to Jab. Imigresen to settle the maid's permit and whatchamacallit....wifey dealt with it yesterday but had to continue to today due to the efficient closing time of the workforce in that office, sharp...on the frigging dot, no frills, no questions asked (or rather entertained!)
...and this morning, the counter was "very efficient" was still not open and the time was well 1 hour pass the supposed working time...and I would not write about the process flow here, I'd be smashing the keyboards if I do that! Harapkan uniform jer perfect...tu pun duit rakyat.....lucky thing wifey was the one dealing with them, itu pun dia dah start to lose her cool towards the oh my....

Today is also the day where there is one important discussion that should start in the morning and last the whole went well and I went in about 2 hours late....not entirely my fault (read the paragraph above!! ehehe!). The session went well....felt almost "at home" with post-it notes bunched in hundreds filled with derived thoughts & analysis from the thousands of lines written and statistical scores from the feedback forms...and nailing it down to a rather well derived storyline to be presented and discussed with the top guns...felt almost like during those old time high profile projects...

Today, I bought something for myself and Naufal....
Cheap cheap! Yearly sales for staff...but I am all for RF1 this season lah! Eheheh!

Shots done on D70s (what else laaa!) with Nikkor 50mm f1.8 prime lens - I love this lens!

Monday, January 21, 2008

Another place called home

Alhamdulillah.....the kids now have another place they can call home....Mama's new condo is finally completed and last weekend we went there for the first time to clean the place a bit and inspect for any defects.
One of te best part of the condo is the address itself...J-2-2, No 2 Jln Seri Wangsa 2......
We are going to take our time to get the new homey ready, one thing at a time, not really concerned on decorating it lavishly and fill it with "Wow!" and I have said, we are simple and practical couple and we just get what we can happily afford, the best we can for the kids.....i.e. everything is to be paid in cash and no "plastic money" in any purchase of items for the homey just like the previous long as there no such thing as "rumah dah siap pahat & tukul berbunyi"....

The kids just love it....Alisya & Aliya will share a room together....
and Naufal will get his own room (well at least until we get a baby boy next...whenever that may be! Anytime is a good time! Aminnnn!)
...and oh boy how I'd love to get that B&O and other stuff that I have been wanting to have all these years in this homey.....well at least a decent system to connect with my Touch.....2008, insyaAllah kalau ada rezeki nanti aaaa! The thing is, I just wanna start constantly rewarding myself already, enough of being bothered by others who have been pushing & shoving me off my track, I am living my own life to the fullest starting this year....

.....and I wanna give more to the kids....ohh they can't seem to wait for the pools & playground to be 100% operational!

...and it is just about 10 minutes drive from the can get back home and be with the kids before the sun gets home first!
.....yeah..I do hope 2008 will be far better a year than 2007.....

Friday, January 18, 2008

Not so warna-ful

So, I went off to Masjid Jamek for Friday prayers today, armed with my old & faithful D70s and 50mm f1.8.
I realized I have no difficulties to spot & compose street subjects - related to poverty, struggle, hardship...the negatives thing you can think of - but even though I have set the theme as WARNA, and there are options to compose, I did not manage to get any!
Mainly because I keep on telling myself "this is not what I want" after spending awhile visualizing what the result may look like....and then I start to ask it really difficult to compose colorful & cheerful shots on the streets of KL or is it just me??
I decided to have a break and do lunch...and went to the place where we ate and took our breather during the last anti-I.S.A. vigil. Yeah...I shot the colorful signboard up there, without even looking into my viewfinder and adjusted the shutter & f-stop based on my gut-feel.

Then I decided to take a walk around the CM area.....still, I fail to compose colorful shots instead I found myself wearing the "Trent Parke's" cap and waited for some subjects to come into my "trap"...

....sheesh...what is my problem!!!

So I took the train back to the Zoo and just for the sake of having some colors in my CF, I shot this one....
....obviously I need more colors in my life!


I use to love crayons. Well actually I still do love crayons only thing is I don't have much opportunity to use it as often as I did when I was in my kindergarten days! So, when the sanely-zany-bunch at the Zoo decided to do some series of artworks, I had the opportunity to use the crayons again after a long while (discounting the recent time I have been using it with Alisya & Naufal lah!)

Colors are adds more meaning to my life. Yes, I do love black & white photo shots at times - depending on what I am composing and what I want to deliver to the audience so to say but noting beats a good combination of colors...most of the time.

..and this morning, it just struck me, I should compose more on colors....bright and fun, perhaps it will help alleviate me to a better position, take me away from the gloominess that's been damaging my nerve too much already and bring me away form the blardy Zoo and the heartless idiots running the show.

As I have mentioned before, at times I'd come to this "gersang seni" stage and try to look for alternative ideas to compose.....and it is happening much sooner than I thought...maybe due to pressure to perform better in a short period of time or simply because it is just about to become a natural thing for it or not it is there so I have to deal with it, just the HPV-B inside of me.

Yeah...why not....since my condition is not going to be good any soon anyway, I could not join the likes of them Pulau Ketam trip or Thaipusam any other outing for the fit & adventurous for that matter...why bother thinking about stuff I cannot do due to the situation I am in....might as well think about the stuff I can do while I still have the chance....
...I think I will plug in that 50mm f1.8 and compose some bright fun colors....we'll see what we can get!

Thursday, January 17, 2008


The one thing that will annoy me very much all of the time would be people who never call or sms you casually (not that I like to receive calls & sms al of the time!) and suddenly calls you and started telling about where he/ she is working now, what's the frigging company is like compared to the frigging one he/ she left yadayadayada and for some favor.....I would be more annoyed when this kind of people just fail to compute when I tell them directly it is not a good time to talk because I am not feeling well and please send me an e-mail so that I can connect them to the proper people when I am done with my frigging flu or sickness.
As if the company belongs to your dead grandpa! Well even if it is so WHO CARES! I am not well you idiot so go fark a duck!

What a way to start and end the week...the event went chaos at the very first announcement but WHO CARES! The only thing that I would want to immediately take care now is to get over this frigging flu and get on with life. The kids are recovering and that is more important than anything at all...but for me to enjoy being with them I have to recover soon! Fever during weekends are the worst situation that any working father could ever be in!

I am not really that optimistic for 2008 having complete half the month of January but I keep on telling myself those are just spillovers form 2007 blunders created unconsciously by some idiots. Yeah I hope so, the thing is the blunders are effecting the area I am assigned to and the worst part is I am expected to clear things up and make everything looks nice& rosy (as alway...miracle worker who never get the proper reward due to being born as a natural rebel). Like I have mentioned earlier in this blog, I will talk less to everybody around me this year and I will just do whatever I want to do and try to achieve whatever I have set. Yes, come to think about it, it is time for me to be selfish, I have lost much time trying to satisfy everybody and it is just not doing me any good, since I don't have a clue how much longer can I survive this farking disease and since nobody really realize how much I am struggling inside to keep saying "life just have to go on dewd~!", I guess it is about time for me to satisfy my own self.

The other blog that I created for professional & wanna photographers are doing very very well. Too well that I have this negative feeling that people would want to tag along with the glory that comes with it for their own benefit. Even worst - if there no really dedicated and energetic bunch that would move the planned activities for the so called members. I am allowing for some period of cooling down and I'll observe those who are really IN for good or just for kepoh2 only. Afterall it is me who created the platform and the thinking & planning behind it....heheh! Selfish? Yeah! Whatever!!

Tomorrow is Friday....and the day after Friday spells WEEKEND! I need to get well fast and I have been missing the 50mm f1.8 lens too much..will plug it in and see what I can compose from tomorrow onwards...I will spend more time with the kids this weekend. Nothing else.

Sunday, January 13, 2008


The real truth - I hate competitions. Period.

No matter what form it may come, I just don't have the passion to compete. I'd just do the stuff I am good at or I have the passion to do and achieve what I want to achieve, that's it.

Why am I writing all these? I don't know! Maybe because I am still a bit drowsy of fatigue
...woke up and start preparation at 5am yesterday, from 830am to 630pm went shooting the Jelajah Malaysia race with two established photojournalists in Malaysia. I have to go shoot with the likes of this professional to learn more and improve more in a very short period of time I have.

So, am I satisfied with the outing....hmmm well yes and NO.
I could have got much better shots than what I had. So, I kinda failed... part of the learning.

We have this competition (See! I told you what I did not like didn't I!) every time we go shooting - we'll select who managed to get the best photos of all and who comes second and third...for this one, compared to the other 2, my shots came 3rd. - which reads: loser!
Regardless I am still new, my next outing aim is to move up a notch - 2nd place - "Smack!!" righ there between the 2 of the best professional photographers in this country!

The much dreaded sickness season is back....Naufal was hit with high fever and yesterday Alisya caught it too....will spend more time with them today and the rest of next week.

While other photographers are busy entering competitions and win prices and get their shots published online & offline (without royalty most if not all of it!) Here I am still pushing myself to the limit to get to the level above any average shooters....must make it worthwhile lah!...if not I am wasting time, not only mine but those of my mentors and my family.....

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Rainy days and nights

Foreigners resting after Isya' prayer -
Masjid Jamek of KL

The ChAPs is progressing well beyond expectation and in some ways it is creating small pressure to me but nevertheless, making it a success is something that I am looking forward to achieve in 2008.

Since Monday, I had to attend full day course in Nikko. Today is the final day but I decided to go back after giving much consideration over lunch time. No I did not go to lunch at all instead I stayed in the room, edited the shots I did last night (which I am posting in this entry) and finally I decided I have had enough of being ridiculed by everybody around me and it is sure is crystal clear that I am not going to get anything that would make me smile by staying in the Zoo anymore.
I have had enough of shit-talks, farking-directive, blardy-acting, ohh my....the acting by some of the bastards....really amazing....fark it....fark it and go to is just clear that I came from the line far away from the elite group or so to say, consisting those who have always been the selected ones to be at in the Zoo.
It is time for me to get myself out of the frigging Zoo and concentrate more on my other journeys.
I should have just stayed home today and looked after Naufal who's not well.....cuz when I am dying I sure as hell am sure the Zoo would not care at all about me so why do I have to bother.....I'll just pray and hope that my kids & family would be there for me insyaAllah....

The difference between a professional photographer and a wannabe (read: ME!) is the pro have better eyes for excellent composition......the shots presented in this entry was the idea of my buddy Rahman Roslan who coached me on getting it perfected.
Yeah it may not be a National Geo kind of quality....but are all the NatGeo shots really of good quality anyway? Google it and go take a peep and you judge it! I just don't quite get it why the fark some people is too obsessed to get their shots published in that section...and lost all their frigging rights to the blardy photo for the rest of their life!!

I think for the coming Maal Hijrah, I will be a much-much-much-much-much quieter person than ever, I will pay more attention to observe & analyze my "subjects" and let others - everybody including you who's reading this - to treat me or bully me as they wish...but I do hope they pray I am not going to lose my temper and show them what am I really made of.....

Happy New Year 1429 H. to all Muslims...

Monday, January 07, 2008

Anti-I.S.A. vigil

It has been roughly one week or so of "gersang seni" for me...and on the rainy afternoon of Saturday this weekend I had an "assignment" - my first demonstrator's shoot....

These are some of the shots I managed to do....first time turun padang for this kind of "assignment".....

Anti-I.S.A. vigil
~ A complete representation of the 3 main races in Malaysia - Malay, Chinese & Indian - singing a theme with the demonstrators who participate in the anti-I.S.A. vigil.

Anti-I.S.A. vigil
~ The "behind the bar" guy, an infamous subject of the vigil.

Anti-I.S.A. vigil~ Anti-I.S.A vigil leader dispersing the demonstrators. Upon receiving notification from the police. Although application to do the vigil was submitted it was not approved by the police.
Anti-I.S.A. vigil

Anti-I.S.A. vigil
~ A Hindraf demonstrator during the vigil - with her minute effort to calm the FRU from forcing the crowd to disperse.

Anti-I.S.A. vigil
~ The infamous "behind the bar" guy playing his part during the Anti-I.S.A. vigil.

Federal Reserved Unit (FRU) on guard
~ The FRU dispersing the mobs of the anti-I.S.A. vigil

Anti-I.S.A. vigil~ A Bar Council Member trying to convince a small group of rather intense mobsters to disperse and go home since the police has warned them on the use of FRU force if they do not cooperate.

Friday, January 04, 2008


Today marks another milestone for my photojourno journey! "Penambang" shot is accepted and published in Fotowarung. Will put it up in this space on iTouch at a restaurant....and my food is here already!!!!

UPdated - Here's the URL...
Fotowarung Entry

Wednesday, January 02, 2008


So.....another one flew out in a swoosh again!
Not really a great year 2007 - generally - but not really a baddie either....depends on which perspective I would look at it. Anyway, it is another year gone nevertheless...

Last year (2007 that is) I have not been writing seriously (READ: this blog was not update as frequent as i wish it could have been updated) trying to put more time on my photography thingy. 2008 (this year - DUH!) I will put more emphasis on photography in a more focused & concentrated effort...and the updates will be in this space.

.....but before we open a new chapter, here are the last activity of the kids for 2007....

Dec 27, 2007....Aliya's 2nd Birthday...I just could not believe it...she's already 2 years old....18 years from now, she'd be 20..but I'll deal with that when it comes...for now, I am going to treasure every day I can with Aliya, Naufal, Alisya and my wifey!

We celebrated Aliya's 2nd Birthday with a simple doa selamat...

Cakes adn grubs by Mama of course....

...we went to Melaka for a final round of holiday...and the kids had their first taste of sea water and sand...

..and fo course....ikan bakar and stuff!

...and a visit to the zoo before we drove back home.

On the new year's eve everybody was too tired to move a muscle.....anyways the kids have seen too much fireworks already...more than I have ever seen in my whole life!!
..but we went to watch Alvin & The Chipmunks movie..first of the year..and Aliya seems to think she's Theodore!

As for my photography thingy....2008 will be "THE YEAR" be more focused and serious and go to the next level....insyaAllah...simply because I could not care anymore about the antics at the"the zoo"......







So...let's do it!