Friday, October 20, 2006

Eid Mubarrak!

The Ketupat is a MUST for me every hari raya.

This raya is totally different for my family - for the first time in my life, we'll celebrate it with our new daughter Aliya Irdina together with her siblings, the twins - Alisya Irdina & Naufal Irsyad.

I would like to wish SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDIL FITRI to all my friends & buddies (you know who you are lah!) and Maaf Zahir & Batin for any wrong doings that I may have done.

To all our family in Segamat, Kajang, KL, JB, Kuching and everywhere - WE LOVE YOU ALL! Insya-Allah we'll meet soon!

For Tok Mak, Tok Abah, Nek Cat, Nek Hon and uncles & aunties & cousins, maaf zahir batin halal makan & minum selama ini....the kids are lucky to have you all as their family!


Tuesday, October 17, 2006


Some people just seems to make it a habit to quote words from famous businessmen or politicians, in meetings, discussions, e-mails or even casual conversations (which may not be casual at all if a quote is included!).....

Ohh yes, some even goes to the extend of printing it and putting it up on the walls where everybody could read it - in his/ her effort to show supremacy or win a self-inflicted psychological war with some others....but unfortunately, the only war he/ she is fighting is against his/ her insecure personality!

Definitely, I am not that kind of a person but I do appreciate meaningful, logical and practical quotes, well you know - those that we can comprehend and put into action immediately.
That's the keyword - put into action.

Why should you go around quoting your favorite politicians & CEOs of big companies, when you have no idea what it mean (read: just trying hard to look smart) and never actually "internalise" (ok....that sounds soooo like a consultant!) the words?

Sometimes you can almost sense that these people may actually just found the quotes (ever heard Google?!) moments before he/ she walked into the meeting/ discussion or sent the that not pathetic?

As much as I hate & refuse to respect people who claims they read books (especially if they see you carrying one and stopped you in the middle of your way just to flip through the pages and proudly say they have read that book couple of years back) but never learn anything, I think I just could not stand those who quotes anything that come out from the mouth of the people he admires (which he may think others are too!) but never actually walk the talk - or should I say walk the quotes?

You want quotes....well, I have some.... (Weiihh! The Torque also smart but not like those smart-arse lah!):

"Do or do not, there is no try...." ~ Yoda, Jedi Master

"There is always the first time..." ~ Moi Chee Keong, TaeKwonDo Master (one of my martial arts sifus)

"Ignore the writing on the wall, you should read between the lies..." ~ Tom Araya, Slayer (heheh! )

"No call alligator "long mouth" till you pass him" - unknown Jamaican Rasta taken from one of the books I am reading now(probably this rasta was high on gunja)

Not smart enough? Ooh ok...then you must be one of can get those "I am smarter than thou" quotes from books....or Google....or ask any of those person I mentioned in my rambling above, I bet you can name a couple of them around you.....

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Today, I touched an Angel.....

If you read some recent entry of this blog, you'd probably read about Faris - adik seibu susu of Alisya & Naufal....

Faris is now an angel.....only after about 2 months of being a baby, he left the world to a better place around 8pm Tuesday......after spending half of his age in the ICU of a couple of hospitals and another half at home with his beloved family.

We went for the funeral...and could not stop our tears, especially when we saw the sister, Syahira, crying and holding the mother's hand, with her eyes almost never endingly focusing at her kid brother. She loves Faris so much and has been helping the parents to take care of him ever since he was allowed to leave the ICU.
The brother, Danial was less disturbed but from time to time he'd look at Faris, and once, after Faris was prepared for the final prayer, Danial actually went to touch his kid brother's little feet....moments before the prayer commence, the family members kissed Faris good-bye for the last time....Syahirah had to wipe her tears and held her emotions for couple of seconds - a big effort for a child her age. The family have even prepared baju raya for Faris....but in the end, Faris will onnly need a piece of white cloth cut to the shape of a baju and another piece to wrap his small body....

Alisya & Naufal did not had the chance to meet Faris - to my utmost regret - due to our weekend schedules. But I will make sure they know they have lost their baby brother and I will bring them to visit Faris when they are able to recite some surah lazim for him.
The arrangement went smoothly.....and I actually took some photos which I plan to keep and tell my twins when the time is appropiate. Though some may say it's inappropiate or what, my family have been doing it since me & by siblings were far away from the kampung in pursue of a pice of paper called a scroll, whenever close relatives left us for the other world....the least we can have are images of them leaving us, since we were thousands of miles away to attend the funeral....

We followed Faris to his last resting place.....the father did everything - from helping the imam to bathe Faris until securing the pieces of temporary tombstone.....he is a strong guy, I could not imagine how I could handle the situation if I am in his shoe....

Spent a couple of moments at Faris's grave before I finally made my move back to the office....although deep inside I feel like just going back home to hug & kiss all my kids.......

Uncle will join you, sooner or later Faris.....but no matter where you are, we will always love you, so much....

....but no matter how much we love Faris, Allah loves him even more.....insya-Allah he'll be there waiting for his parents & family when the time comes...

...our time will come too......

Rest in peace my little friend.....

Tuesday, October 10, 2006


fear |fi(ə)r| |ˌfɪ(ə)r| |fɪə|
an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat : drivers are threatening to quit their jobs in fear after a cabby's murder | fear of increasing unemployment | he is prey to irrational fears.
• archaic a mixed feeling of dread and reverence : the love and fear of God.
• ( fear for) a feeling of anxiety concerning the outcome of something or the safety and well-being of someone : police launched a search for the family amid fears for their safety.
• the likelihood of something unwelcome happening : she could observe the other guests without too much fear of attracting attention.
verb [ trans. ]
be afraid of (someone or something) as likely to be dangerous, painful, or threatening : he said he didn't care about life so why should he fear death? | [with clause ] farmers fear that they will lose business.
• [ intrans. ] ( fear for) feel anxiety or apprehension on behalf of : I fear for the city with this madman let loose in it.
• [with infinitive ] avoid or put off doing something because one is afraid : they aim to make war so horrific that potential aggressors will fear to resort to it.
• used to express regret or apology : I'll buy her book, though not, I fear, the hardback version.
• archaic regard (God) with reverence and awe.

....again, from my Mac's Oxford American Dictionary.

Fear is good. Provided you know how to use it properly. Of course the advantage goes to the person that can manipulate the emotion of the other, one who is in fear but it can be the other way around. When you are in fear and you have enough "ilmu" in you to deal with it, you can use it as an energy and go against those that made you have the fear in the first place. Not an easy thing to do. Not even half as easy to learn and understand, this is not from Star Wars, this is for real.
Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.....

Couple of weeks back when haze was not there....the twins used to be pushed in that twins trike
Aliya is now riding time flies

My twins have been dealing with their fear rather convincingly. Part of dealing with fear is to face it and deal with it. Confidence is part of the ingredients. Cycling is their latest craze, with the new rigs I promised them, on any clear day before the haze started conquering our BolehLand, I'd put Baby Aliya in her Quinny and get the twins to follow me on their new rigs. The twins will bash it up, trying their best to follow me & not falling down. IF they fall, they have been warned and trained - you fall, you get up and ride it again, crying is an option but will not be entertained (unless really necessary). Cruel? No, it is part of building their personality - they will be full with confidence and would be able to handle fear far better than me insya-Allah. They are doing just fine. They may not be getting a PSP, PS2 or X-Box (some rich folks give these to their 3 yrs. old kids - I don't have any of those for myself!) but they will get the best of things that I can afford and my doa for as long as I live....and my love too, unconditional.
Sometimes we fear too much about not being able to give our kids what others are giving theirs.....why follow others who have no clear idea on what's they are doing to their kids? Most of the time it's not about the kids but about the parents being "in" or "modern urban lifestyle" or what if their kids have PSP and go to school with a monthly fee that will cost the same for you to get through a semester in a local college?!

My only fear for now, is whether I would be here and able to play galah panjang with my kids soon.

The haze has been REALLY BAD and I can't help but wonder why is there no warning or whatsoever from the authority. The only thing I an tired of hearing is the intention to talk to the stupididiots next door on open burning and stuffs. It is really bad, personally I think this is the worst compared to the previous ones we had , ever. Can't even see the KL Tower from the higher floor of the zoo. It was totally white view today, the rain did not help too much but it sure created some havoc in the evening. To the authorities, talk are cheap, we do not pay you to talk and believe me, you are bad at it even if you try hard......some action please? It won't hurt to actually earn the money you get to be our leaders for once....or do you prefer to wait until some life are wasted before really taking this issue seriously?
As a precaution, my kids are not allowed to go outside the hut until further notice......out of my fear of them getting unhealthy due to the haze.....I don't think it is a good idea at all to let them loose in this kind of weather.

We went back to the kampung for the weekend, the whole clan decided to run away from the haze.....unfortunately, the haze decided to be everywhere.....the kampung was also affected, not as bad but bad enough to make me feel pissed! In the end, do we have to pay to get a view of clear blue sky 366 day a year while those stupididiots next door is enjoying it for free?
In a way I guess it's a blessing I am not quite capable to own my first muscle bike.....I don't want to breathe haze while enjoying the ride!
.....maybe we should start considering oxygen mask ask part of our daily attire?

The kids enjoyed the short break with the cousins and Tok Mak & Abah. As I mentioned, the haze was there but not as bad as in is in Sateville & JayBee.....but for the first time in my life I experienced haze in my own kampung. The kids had a great time with their cousins playing & cycling around the compound. We decided to stay until ifthar on Sunday before we drove back to Sateville.
This raya we are going to start the celebration in my kampung until third day where we'll fly off to Kuching, with high hopes of not seeing a trace of haze...can't stand it anymore.

The zoo has never been so cold. At times very quiet, most of the times. When it is time to clock out, almost immediately everybody is gone. I guess the spirit is low, the morale is dirt low too. I can speak for myself but I don;t mind saying it may be the same with the majority. For me the only reason I am here is to earn my dough apart from proving a point I can come much much much earlier than any early worm in this zoo but I WILL leave when it is time to leave ON THE DOT regardless if there's an important meeting going on and I am actually in it. Period! They were the ones who started nitpicking on petty matters, they will have to learn it that it is not them who own this zoo anyway and if they are really capable do their part and I will do mine as expected nothing more nothing less....if they want to dressed to the nines, look intelligent (trying REALLY TO BE!) with none but one mission in their sorry life - score point and kiss asses of those monkeys above them - they can do it but for this month by 4pm sharp, I am out of the building!
Some people are just plain stupid and in total fear of others - especially junior people - to outshine their credibility, totally ignorant of his/ her stupidity, they just try their best to hide it.....and make life messy for the others around.....

....I'd rather be at home with my kids and family....

Tuesday, October 03, 2006


Aaaa...tu dah cross the line tu, over limit dah tu!

limitation |ˌliməˈtā sh ən| |ˈlɪməˌteɪʃən| |lɪmɪˌteɪʃ(ə)n|
1 (often limitations) a limiting rule or circumstance; a restriction : severe limitations on water use.
• a condition of limited ability; a defect or failing : she knew her limitations better than she knew her worth.
• the action of limiting something : the limitation of local authorities' powers.
2 (also limitation period) Law a legally specified period beyond which an action may be defeated or a property right is not to continue. See also statute of limitations .
ORIGIN late Middle English : from Latin limitatio(n-), from the verb limitare (see limit ).

....that's according to the Dictionary software from Apple Computer, in my Mac.
Some stories related to the word....

One fine morning I made a straight statement to one of my staff - "If you don't fast, don't talk to me....please?". In Malay,"Kalau kau tak puasa, jangan cakap dengan aku...."
The staff was clowning around, not fasting and making fun of it as though it is a joke and everybody was not too serious about him not fulfilling his duty as a Muslim. When he came to my workstation, where we'd always make jokes and laugh, I gave him the straight cold serious look (I can look VERY serious and KILLER LIKE especially with beards and all unshaved on my face) and made the statement above. whether he like it or not, I don't care. I did my duty as a Muslim, I do not condone his fooling around asking for food & lighter to light his cigarette. He was shocked and lost for words, I asked him to leave and only comeback when he's fasting properly.
If he cannot respect his own religion, why should I respect him, for life.

Limitations imposed by religion have their own good reasons and values.

There have been some havoc in the zoo this Monday - my own doings due to my dissatisfaction to the some people entitled with car grand, bigger bucks and a room in the zoo. Two of them. It was utterly stupid - them not me - to offend me with so called a policy whereby it was too obvious they were protecting their own dirty butt due to their paranoia. Was even called to the room of the zookeeper later in the evening for the havoc - which I made clear my stand and made the lady one felt uneasy - face it bitch, you do not fit to be a leader in the first place, how could you handle my personality! The zookeeper tried to be in control but most of the time I got him cornered, but f course he has his own ways to deny anything - stupid & irrelevant statements, in the end they think the have the final words....well not really, it is far from over because I have the final VERSE for them! These people will always be in my prayer - for the damned. Go to hell - both of you and all your family.
Have never met people with brains twice useless than a dead pig then this two idiots.

Everybody's patience has limitations....push it to the limit and you will get a taste of their darkest soul.

There is nothing in this world that is more important to me than being with my little family for as long as I have the chance to do so. If anybody have a problem understanding that - DON'T EVEN TRY....and don't let me come across you, I don't wish to add any more names in the prayer of the damned.

There is no limitation to love your family....even after you are gone you can still love them but it is far better to love them NOW, while you are still with them.....

Some people think they can walk on this earth arrogantly because things have come easy in their lives....
To them all, think again.......

Put a limit to your arrogance, before it's too late, already.....